World of Warcraft®

Gentyl had a theory that creative drinking led to creative thinking. She usually had this theory while she and Traveler were drinking cherry grog under their favorite tree.

She cracked open another keg of grog, dipped out a cup and propped her feet up on and empty keg. Spricket's wedding plans were going so wonderfully it made Gentyl wish more people could find that special person in their life. Not everyone could be in the right place like Spricket had been to find her soulmate.

Not everyone could belong to guilds like Pia Presidium and the Tenth Legion where an alliance also involved a marriage between two members to cement the bond.

There had to be another way for people to find each other. What Azeroth needed was a matchmaking service.

She pushed Traveler's muzzle out of the way so she could dip out some more grog.

That was probably one of her best ideas ever, and she'd had some great ones in the past if she did day so herself.

What if she opened up a message service where people could post a bit about themselves and what they were looking for? It didn't have to be love. It could just be a hunting partner.

Then, once a match was found, the AAMS could deliver a note and a token so the people could get together.

There would have to be the usual disclaimers, Gentyl and Pia were not responsible for unintended maimings, killings, explosions, animosity and children, but Mr. Boltwiggle could write up a nice legal document.

If worse came to worse, she'd refer the unhappy couple to Dr. Froyd for therapy.

((So there you have it. Post your personal ad here. Once you find a match, get AAMS to deliver a note from you and a token to the person you're interested in. For instance, if it's a romantic match send a rose or a treat, a hunting partner might like a potion or a fish, etc. Let's try to do this as much as possible here to stir up more action and then transfer it to the game.))

((Ironic, since the male Draenei that Vasilia was slowly becoming romantically involved with decided to break things off abruptly last night, (ICly of course) between that and being stalked by LO operatives, nearly losing her job; causing a huge international incident between the Alliance and Horde; I am pretty sure the last thing Vas needs is a secret admirer. A vacation maybe, secret admirer, not so much!!))

Single Male Tauren Seeks.....

Likes:
short women
the color pink
cooperation between species
Fresh Omelettes
freeform mixed diplomacy
zangarmarsh mushrooms
really fresh mousewine
An'She
shovels

Dislikes:
desecrating sacred grounds
not knowing who hatched that last egg
plague, blight, and apothecaries
sporebats
penguins
getting killed
killing people I know
transubstantiation

What I'm lookin fer:
Ah shoot, ah dunno..hey, is this thing on? Uhm..gosh, thnis're kinda embarrassin..ain't never done used this afore. Whassat? Jest be mahself? Well Fel darlin, that ain't such a simple question now is it? I mean I bin so many thing, it're hard ta tell sometimes...whassat? we're outta ti....*BLEEP*

NYYYEAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!

YES! Someone to HOLD and BE CLOSE WITH and I will find someone, and they will fill the emptiness inside of me. The echoing winter of my am very angry now, this is stupid NO I will write this.

I am seeking someone. Someone to travel with, and learn from. SOmeone who I AM GOING to PUT HOLES IN YOU, AND PUT THINGS IN THOSE HOLES. DO not listen to me, I am not myself today.

I seek someone of infinite patience, of fine and shining jests, someone who is VERY VERY GOOD WITH AN AXE.

Do you look good in leather? We should hang out. I have ROPES. To hang from.

I have a patch of ground and a dead horse. Must like dead horses. Must dislike anyone who isn't dead yet.

JUST LAY STILL AND LET'S BE FRIENDS.

((Ha, much fun. It's been brought to my attention some people may think this is a serious thread and start looking for "Intimate" hook ups in game. No, please keep it clean and have fun.))

I'm Ahnabella Aurelia Amanda Aurora Alicia Alana Barov, but everyone calls me Ahnni. My family is the Barov's and I'm an heir to South Shore, Caer Darrow, Brill and Tarren Mill after my uncle Alexi, because I think something with the deeds and the law and something means that you have to be dead and then alive again to inherit. I think Uncle Alexi is hiring someone to look into that for him. Anyway, I'm 17 if you don't count any of the time I spent being dead-dead, rather than dead and then alive again, and I really don't think time you spent hanging out in a grave should count toward your age do you? I like cheerleading, dancing, fashion, and partying. I also work as a ice mage and as a courier for the AAMS. I do my best to keep myself looking good despite my totally unfortunate demise. I'm blond, petite, and I don't have a rotting problem.

I'm looking for a totally cute human boy to hang out and go to parties with. Maybe in Stormwind? Send me a letter!

-Ahnni!

Arjah stared at the AAMS circular for a long, hard moment.

No. Absolutely not. Dreejin hadn't been gone that long. A woman had to have some pride, dammit.

But she tucked the paper in her desk before she left, instead of tossing it in the waste bin where it surely belonged...

Are you a devotee of the light?
Are you holy and churchgoing?
Do you, verily, enjoy a quiet cup of tea on a still morning as the mist rolls in off the Durotar Bayou?
Does charity, kindness, and ministering to those less fortunate fulfill you and bring peace to your soul?

I seek a kindly, Light Loving woman, one with whom I can share the glories of the Light, and who will walk a path of righteousness alongside me as I bring news of the Hope that is the Word of Light to others.

Together we shall read scripture, pray, and speak of faith and joy.
Together we will bring a Light unto the Darkness of the horde.

Blessings be upon you, unto the end of days...
Brother Zalmar

Me:

I like beer.
I shoot things.
I 'ave a pet pig.

You:

You like beer.
You like shooting things
You like pigs.

I'm Shauraria Wildsong. I'm in need of someone to accompany me outside of the city walls, Stormwind that is. With the rising unrest in Kalimdor I've found it difficult to return home.

I'd like someone that is skilled in protection and does not mind foxes. Leiria is my pet fox! She'd like someone who knows how to fish better than me.

Maybe you could teach me to fish too.

Cesia frowned at the notice, bit her lower lip. She fidgeted with her quill and parchment, having already lost count of how many sheets she had crumpled up and thrown to the floor. She didn't want to come across as desperate!

... Even if she was starting to think she was desperate.

In a rush, she penned down whatever came to mind:

------------------------------------
Single Female Paladin seeks company and friendship, which may not necessarily be romantic in nature, from intelligent individual with strong conscience. Enjoyment of philosophical discussion a plus. Neutrality in Alliance/Horde conflicts *something here is scribbled out* a must.

Likes:
books, magic, philosophy, cheese, scholarly pursuits, enchantments, sewing, the color blue, helping orphans, strong sense of honor, peace and quiet, defending those who cannot defend themselves, fishing, Westfall, tall men, turtles.

Dislikes:
Demons, undead, violence, bigotry, misogyny, any substance which alters one's mental or physical faculties, breaking my glasses, cooking, immodesty, fanaticism.
--------------------------------------

She sent it off, and was swiftly contacted by a gnome with a recorder. He promptly informed her that she had forgotten to include the verbal portion of the ad and thrust the recorder in her face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
O...oh, you want me to SAY something? Oh... oh, my. Um... well, I guess I'm looking for somebody nice. And smart. Somebody who can keep up with me when I'm out, but is willing to relax when I'm not. Oh! I'm a morning person, too. At least for now. And, um, I guess they need to be alive? I mean, I understand the plight of the Forsaken and Death Knights, but I don't really want to-- I mean... oh, I sound like a racist, don't I? Out of time? What- no! That can't be my-- I LIKE CATS! *BEEP*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She spent the rest of the evening with her head on her desk, berating herself for sounding like a fool. "I like cats, indeed."

Rosanth stared at the circular in curiosity. A matchmaking service? Are people so desparate they cannot find a friend just by being active in the community? "I have no time for this...I am going to be busy anyway delivering all the roses, potions and boxes of chocolates from one person to another....hmmm chocolate...wonder if they would miss one piece if I just shifted the papers around a bit...?"

Staring thoughtfully at the many gifts she was now delivering, Rosie wondered if she would find someone someday...someone to accompany her on her many forays into dark and dangerous dungeons...someone who would send her...chocolates....

Franzie looked at the circular from AAMS and smiled with a calculated grin. Now this was interesting...Perhaps she could find a partner for her travel agency.

With a large sheet of parchment and a feather quill she had found in the bottom of the desk drawer she wrote:

Franzie Frostbolt, student of the arcane and other magics, is seeking a partner to open a travel agency. Candidate must be healthy and easy going, cat lovers are a plus. Inscriptionists and purveyers of old tomes and collectors of any type are encouraged to apply.

Mages are welcome to freelance at anytime from the office on top of the tower in the Mage District. Cross continent portals are available as well as Outland excursions.

A partner is needed to help in the life mission of Ms. Frostbolt, the spreading of good cheer and smiles to every citizen. Applicants may approach Ms. Frostbolt at anytime for auditions, or use the AAMS to send any query or donations.

"A recording device? Oh! I love blue eyes, but I am not averse to brown or green..but I love cookies and chocolate..and ummmm FLOWERS!" (her voice is delightfully sweet and adorable)

The goblin chuckles and rolls his eyes, which are a pale green, "Ya gotta love that voice if nuttin else, Good luck to you sugar." And tucking the parchment and recording device into his bags he dashes out the door.

Signed by Franzie Frostbolt

Arlston' stares openly bewildered at the flyer on the table in front of him, then quickly jerks his gaze back to Master Shaw. The venerable old rogue is wearing a large, silly grin and stares intently down at Arlston.

"No." Arlston states clearly, annoyed at all the spies, assassins, and stalkers surrounding him.
"No." Standing up suddenly, and clumsily making his way through the throng of his peers, and their catcalls. He makes his way to his quarters.

Flopping down on the bed, Arlston stares at the ceiling. "Me...in love...". Flushing red with embarrassment, he closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

"Idiots" he muttered under his breath and drifted off to sleep, "I'm...unmatchable"

Faithe looked at the notice and blinked in astonishment. It had never really occurred to her someone might be interested in her other than a healer. It would be nice to have someone to travel with, however. It got lonely being solitary all the time.

Single Human Female

Likes

Intelligent people
Quiet humor
Flowers
Herbs
Alchemy
Pretty, pale robes
Interesting conversation
Kittens

Dislikes

Crude conversation and people
Rudeness
Loud noises
People sitting on drakes on top of missions givers and mailboxes

"Oh, what am I looking for in a companion?" She blushed and lowered her gaze to stare at her hands in her lap. "An interesting, intelligent man with a sense of humor?"

She jumped up and turned the recording device off. "Never mind. I can't do this."

"Too late now, missy," the goblin said. "You already signed the contract and paid the fee."

"I'll pay more for you to lose the contract."

"Time is money," the goblin said. "How much?"

Faithe dug through her bags. "I have seven gold and some herbs."

The goblin stuck his head in the bag to look. "Yeah, but not the good ones. Nope. Good luck with Mr. Right."

Single Human Male seeks non-furry female.

Likes
Mead
Rum
Adventure
Large two handed weapons
Rifles
Hourglass figures
Comedy
Silver Bullets
Intelligent conversation

Dislikes
Bourbon
Worgen! (underlined many times for emphasis)
Top Hats
Spiders
Druids who remain in cat form
Shaman who remain in wolf form.
Religious talk and zealotry (does not mean I dislike paladins and priests)
Outland
Random yelling and dancing on tables.

Interview

“What?!” Duessel draws his pistol at the goblin, who shakily holds up a microphone. “Oh! I get it.” His attitude changes immediately to one of pleasantry and friendliness. “Hello, ladies! If you seek a manly man, burly and in plate armor most of the time, look no further! I am here, for you! If all of this..“ he gestures along his body with a wink. “..has your attention, and you apply to one of those likes in my list.. then by all means, join me for a drink upstairs in the Blue Recluse! Worgen need not apply.” He gestures to his pistol. “Is that all you need?” The goblin nods nervously. “Good! Now get out of here, you’re bothering me.”

Vanesse looked down at the goblin with an annoyed glare. "So you want me to fill out this form in hopes of finding me someone "compatible"? That sounds downright ridiculous..." Vanesse was in no mood to deal with the match-making goblin but to all her protests he simply shoved the papers at her and trotted off.
Vanesse slumped her satchel full of hides on the ground next to the bar. Quietly still cursing at the goblin, she began to read over the forms. She sneered at the bar tender, “Get me some more mead…” Reading through the forms, Vanesse slowly began to give in to the goblin’s sales pitch.

Her hand writing was surprisingly delicate for someone with such an armored and rough appearance.

Likes: My job (leatherworker and animal skinner), picking on my best customer, and open land with vast skies. Quickly, Vanesse scribbled “Drinking alone or with those that have an attention span longer than a gnome.”

Dislikes: Clearly hyperactive, obnoxious, overly friendly gnomes. Vanesse sneered at the paper, “Goblin salesmen would work as a dislike…” After draining her flagon of mead Vanesse added “Pet druids, over –baring men, and explosive gnomes.”
As an afterthought, she wrote, “Do not get me wrong… Strength and stubbornness is highly desired. Makes life more interesting.”

The goblin returned and began to pester Vanesse, “I gave you enough time, you should be done already!” Vanesse glared at the green-skinned goblin. Vanesse grabbed one of her freshly made leather straps from the satchel and smacked the goblin, “If you want the fel paper, you will wait until I am finished!” Vanesse looked down at the paper as she motioned for her flagon to be refilled.

“Now for what I am looking for. What sort of nonsense is this!? It is a match-making service after all.” Hastily she jots down:
Relationship - Open for this. Though you’re idea of a date will be scrutinized.
Friendship - Gnomes need not apply
Business partner - Forget it. You’ll have better luck of me befriending a gnome!

The goblin shoved a small recording device at her, “Time to say something nice!” As the machine started recording Vanesse sneered at the goblin, “Do I need to get the strap and hit you again! Shoving your nonsense at me is no wa-“ Vanesse smiled, although clearly a fake smile she began, “Single draenei shaman seeks companionship. If you are a gnome, please ignore this. If you want to be a business partner, please ignore this. If you are to informal for letters, I’m usually around the Blue Recluse most evenings. I might even buy -you- a round of drinks.”

Vanesse nodded at the goblin, “Happy now? Here’s the papers. Now leave me be. I need to track down this druidess to deliver her enchanted leather straps.”

"Hunh? Me? Love?"
Frazzbolt looks up from his struggles of trying to force the goop monster back into the cauldron.
Straining against the stickiness as it seeps over his hands, Frazzbolt smiles broadly at the horrified Goblin.

"Oh! I get it! Most Fascinating! A liaison service provided for the reasons of courtship! Spectacular!", Frazz states calmly as the sludge starts groaning against the Gnome and begins dissolving his sleeve with a peculiar hissing sound.

"My likes? ALCHEMY!....What? Oh...you mean what I like in others Hmm..."

Frazzbolt starts frantically waving his arms to get the slime off, but the goop monster seems intent on devouring it's creator.

"She must be smart, funny, love being hugged, enjoy strange odors, not mind tweezers, able to cope with an occasional extra appendage or two, cooking, magic and is able to love me for who I am!"

*Shortly after this statement, Frazzbolt was unavailable for further comment as he and his Elemental Spritzer began engaging in epic combat against the Goop, ending successfully, in trapping the monster back in the cauldron*

**It took some hours for Frazzbolt to return his attention span back after entering a euphoric state caused by the Goop monster**

"Dislikes? Women who kick me for no reason. Such as the strange Draenei woman who seemed to dislike it when I popped up and said 'Hi!' And who take offense when I say they have lovely hair...by the way Mr. Goblin, your hair is also quite fascinating..."

*Pulls a pair of tweezers from nowhere*

The Goblin Interviewer who tried to get a response from him was found catatonic, huddling in a corner, his microphone missing, half his hair plucked out, and muttering something about "Hugs...so....many hugs...."