World of Warcraft®

*posted in Orgrimmar and Stormwind, everywhere in Orgrimmar and Stormwind*

Have you been the victim of Loveless Languishment?

Is your heart hollow and your tender feelings mashed and sore, like a potato, but without the butter of love and the shredded cheese of affection to mellow the starchy glue of your steaming insides……

…mm, lunch…

Do you sleep (or moulder quietly, in your coffin of despair) with an ache inside that no drink nor food can quench?

Are you ... Jilted by Redearth?

The Tawny Temptress of the Towering Town, Redearth of The Blackhide has too long worked her sinister wiles upon the steadfast fellowship of the horde. Our men are depressed, listless, and crying bitter tears of rejection and sorrow, all because of these, her well turned hooves.

This menace must be stopped! We, the Overly Depressed and Hopeless men of Azeroth will not take it any longer! No more shall we stare morosely into our beer (mm, delicious beer!), wondering where, exactly, it is we went wrong. No, the time for action has come! Join us, the Despairing Suitors, as we convene here, on these very notice boards, and in the public houses of Orgrimmar and Stormwind, as we ponder what to do about this Scourge of All That is Manly.

BYOB, lots and lots of B, hankies and darts will be provided.

Abominus wandered morosely throughout Orgrimmar, his heart space filled with redearth's decaying heart he got from her corpse one time before her fellow Ishnuies rezzed her, starting a long diatribe about not taking the organs of those who need them still.

Abominus was confused. She had been dead, or as dead as anyone gets these days, with the prevalance of healing and ressurrection magics being flung about with no thought for the trauma it causes. She wasn't using it, and as he knew full well, when the magic was done, they usually did just fine with replacement prgans grown from their own flesh. At least, that is how he envisioned the process occurring.

He stopped as a s@**@*#ing goblin youth ran up and handed him a flyer, then fled at full speed, followed by the jeering taunts of other goblin and orc youth. All moved with alacrity when the Maggot Lord lurched towards them, scattering into the nooks and crannies of orgrimmar faster than a maggot disappearing into a fresh corpse.

"Hmm, othersss have been turned down by Redearth Ssshe-tauren, yesss? We mussst attend thisss meeting, yesss!"

Abominus skittered off.

((afk, loling forever))

Arjah pondered the notices for a long while. No one had, to the best of her knowledge, ever founded a society just to commiserate because she had jilted them. Yet here was one for Redearth -- and quite a bit one, if the number of notices was anything to go by!

She wondered if she could convince the Homeland that the offense was grievous enough to declare war over. The men might not entirely understand. But surely her good friend and the successor to her mantle as Greatmother would see the injustice of it all...