World of Warcraft®

((This is my first RP thread so please, bear with me. Slithengar and I came up with this idea and I hope you all enjoy. Again, I'm new at this, please be patient.))

Ulthryn was tired of seeing these people walk off, free of punishment. Murderers, thieves, and all criminals had to get their retribution at some point. He had spoken with his knight earlier about this same thing, and been told it was not his place to be the judge of others. Ulthryn knew he had to do something, because no one else would.

Ulthryn set to work, creating a silver suit of armor including a helmet to hide his face, he was sure that the watch would not look kindly upon vigilantes, and grabbed an axe he had laying around. Ulthryn suited up and set off to the Recluse, to find information on the first soul that he would smite under in his holy wrath.

Ulthryn approached the Blue Recluse and checked himself again, making sure he was unrecognizable before walking in. He entered and saw a dwarven male and a female gnome.
The gnome peered at the bartender searchingly.

“ It could be!” She exclaimed. The gnome peered at two other men in the bar.

“But it's not him...” She said.

“Or him.” The dwarf added. “Or that guy.”

“Connor!” the gnome exclaimed.

The dwarf pointed at Ulthryn, “It's him!”

“ This guy?” he gnome asked uncertain.

“ Yes!” was the dwarf’s reply.

Ulthryn approached and spoke in a voice lower than his own, “Have either of you seen a scum bag Death Knight around here? Goes by the name of Slithengar."

“You mean Meat?” The dwarf asked.

“I won't tell you anything about seeing Meat today, murloc!” The gnome said. Bafflebean drew a dagger and leapt, screaming "DIE, MURLOC!"

Ulthryn thinks for a moment, and writes down the word "Meat" on his notepad. "Yes."

“ Get him!” The dwarf shouted.

Bafflebean flopped about helplessly around Ulthryn. “Take this!” the gnome stabbed at Ulthryn, “And this!”

Ulthryn looked down, "Yes?"

“ He's trying to brainwash you again!” The dwarf added.

“You can't take me back! I w-won't go back to the pond!” The gnome said.

The dwarf then went on to say, “ Don't let him into your brain!”

“ DIE, FIEND!” the gnome shouted.

Ulthryn looks at the gnome and draws his weapon, "Stop."

“I won't let you! I hate lilypads! I...What?” The gnome broke off.

Ulthryn, angered, replied, “ You heard me kid. Stop.”

The dwarf continued to speak, “See! He's calling you as he did before!”

“ It's true! I can see the scales!” the obviously crazy gnome said.

“Kill it!” The dwarf exclaimed

Ulthryn looked at the Dwarf, "If you see 'Meat' tell him to be scared, for Justice comes for him next."

The dwarf saluted with a goofy grin, "Will do Boss..."

Ulthryn was gone as quickly as he’d arrived.

((Incase you're wondering the Dwarf was Khroye, and the gnome was Bafflebean. Thamks agian everyone!))

Slithengar approached the Recluse hoping to do such that. Be reclusive. As he was about to enter, Bafflebean and Khroye stopped him.

“Hey! Meat!”

Slithengar took a deep sigh in his head. “What?”

“This one weird feminine shiny armor guy was looking for you.” Khroye tapped his mask his mask in thought. “He said…”

Slithengar interrupted him, “Whoa, hold up. Feminine shiny armor guy… Was it a male or female?” Bafflebean seemed a little more than excited, “It’s true! He said you were a scumbag, I think?” Khroye interrupted Bafflebean, although almost finishing her sentence. “Something like… “Beware… You’re life is in danger! For I am your one and only love!”

Slithengar facepalmed as Bafflebean agrees with Khroye. “Sounds like the ravings of a mad man. And I know mad men. Scumbag huh? I am getting known.” Bafflebean jumped up and down. “Don’t worry, Slithermeats. I told him I wasn’t g-going to tell him about seeing you here.” Khroye had a sly look on his face, “But he was looking for you… I think he said something about kissing too.”

Slithengar started to look annoyed. “He? Kissing me?” Bafflebean nodded. “He wants his throat ripped out apparently.” Khroye shrugged as Bafflebean seemed deep in thought, “Was it kiss? Or kill? He looked like he might go either way, really.”

“I think you should send him roses or something. Soften him up a little bit.”

Slithengar rubbed his chin. “Black roses, don’t they mean death?” Khroye continued still on his topic, “Or chocolates.” Bafflebean smiled, “Tulips! With a bomb!” Khroye added, “Laced with sulfuric Acid.”

“What did he look like?”

“A feminine shiny armor wearing murloc man.”

“Are you trying to piss me off? It’s working.”

“We’re serious! It was like, ten minutes ago!”

Khroye’s tone got serious, “You’d be pissed off already if I was trying.”

“This feminine shiny armor murloc man have a name?”

“Name? Oh.” Khroye thought for a moment as Bafflebean continued to talk, “I don’t think he said.” Khroye said slowly, “I think his name was… Zaium.”
“I know who Zaium is…”

Khroye shrugged, “I couldn’t see his face! It was covered in sparkles. And a helmet.”

“Yes. Yes. That all sounds right.”

“See…”

“Lay off the hard stuff.” Feminine shiny armor Murloc man… What the Fel are these two talking about.

“So it was either Zaium, or that one guy.”

“I don’t need to deal with this crap right now. Why would Zaium be after me?”

Khroye shrugged, “He’s a weird one. Who knows?”

“Useless, you didn’t think to…. I don’t know… Capture this person?”

“Suit yourself… Don’t come crying to me when he tries to sodomize you.”

“Just to be safe, you should probably go and kill anyone wearing that armor.”

“You know where he went?”

Khroye pointed in both directions. “That way.”

“So a man is looking for me, and you don’t bother to follow. Not at least a bit suspicious?”

We…. Thought you knew him?”

Khroye looks at the gnome then back at the man. “Hell no.”

“What are you a coward?”

“Then I probably would have gotten sodomized.”

“You can just blow him up with your… Mind powers.”

Bafflebean clenches her butt as Khroye spoke, “It only works on idiots.”

“So describe this man head to toe. Tell me anything that was odd about him.”

“Shiny boots, shiny pants, shiny shirt, shiny head… He was shiny.”

“How did he talk?”

“Well, we’re pretty sure he was as Murloc in disguise. Shiny… Yeah.”

Khroye goes into a squeaky voice. “He talked like this!” Bafflebean agreed. “Yes! He did sound like that.”

Slithengar reached for his sword, “I am normally a patient person.”

“Yes. A Murloc in disguise”

“Could you see his eyes?”

“You’re just lucky we were looking out for you. You could be in a pond RIGHT NOW.”

“Did he have any notciable scarring?”

“You’re bum is in danger of being penetrated and you’re threatening us? He ws shiny! We couldn’t see any scars.”

“Did you see anything?”

“We saw shiny! Go! Kill shiny!”

Khroye pointed at Duessel, a warriors sitting not far from them. “He’s kind of shiny! It was probably him.”

“Listen you pathetic piece of crap dwarf.”

“I think… well… m-maybe so…”

Khroye shrugged, “Fine. Don’t listen.”

Bafflebean peered at Duessel searchingly, Duessel looked back at Bafflebean, giving her a shifty look. Khroye looked back at Dussel, “Never mind… it wasn’t him.”

Slithengar poked Khroye hard In the chest with his index finger. “You see or hear anything else. Tell me. Okay?”

“Will do Lover man!”

Slithengar looked at Bafflebean, “You’ll do the same right? I know someone who just ENJOYS gnomes. And by enjoys, I mean eats.” Bafflebean took a look at Slithengar’s pants.

Khroye smiled, “You want me to serenade him also? A specific song?”

“You bet! He looked kind of like a Hatman anyway.”

Slithengar walked to Duessel and eyed him. “So, you see anything?” Duessel talked calmly, “Should I have?”

Khroye looked at Bafflebean, “Aren’t you supposed to be after that monster?!” Bafflebean looked at Valtherimas and pointed, “Was it THAT guy?” Khroye shakes his head, “Nah. He’s too… Little.” Val glared, “You know damn well it wasn’t me.”

Slithengar focused his attention back at Duessel. “Well considering I have to listen to the ravings of a couple idiots, it would be nice if you did.” Duessel kept his same tone. “I honestly have no clue what’s going on, stranger.” Slithengar nodded, “First thing that makes sense all day.”

Bafflebean shook her head. “Too yellow fitty parts. No… no it wasn’t this guy.” Khroye aggred, “No it wasn’t Valth.”

Slithengar walked to Val, “be on the look out for a MAN wearing feminine shiny armor with a Murloc head.”

Khroye sounded excited, “Yes! You got it!” Duessel tilted his head in confusion. Bafflebean nodded, “That’s what I remember.”

Slithengar looked at Khroye with a bloodthirsty look. “And he is going to sound like Khorye… When I’m strangling him to death.”

Khroye said, “Now… Little one… Aren’t you supposed to be after the monster?” He looked at Slithengar. “Exactly. Wait. No… Like the gnome.”

Slithengar nodded, “Perhaps the gnome.” Bafflebean seemed to pay no attention to Slithengar, “Oh! Right! I was going to ask but then I remembered that I forgot to ask where that t-tower is.” Slithengar reached for the gnome. “Come here. Okay, I’m going to crush your throat. And the dwarf here will tell me what the man sounded like. Sounds good?”

Khroye yelled, “She’s supposed to be killing a monster!” Bafflebean shook her head, “Well that just doesn’t sound like f-fun at all. Let’s not!” Khroye yelled again, “Run little one! Fight for your freedom!” Slithengar stopped reaching for the gnome.

“Then you’ll be more attentive next time? … I could use a drink.” Khroye said sarcastically, “And a breath mint.” Slithengar pulled out a flask and begins to drink, “And now I’m all out.”

“Yellow brown armor man! Where is the tower? Mister Fork clued me in. I must kill the original Murloc mage. Not the guy who came looking for Silthermeat.” Val looked confused. “Slithermeat. What in the …. I’m done.” Khroye agreed. “Yes… Slithermeat.”

Slithengar shook his head, “Val… Get back here!.” Khroye looked as Val left. “Well… He’s not any help. Slithermeat scared him off.” Slithengar decided to get back on subject, “Did he have a noticeable tabard?”

“Slithermeat…. Where’d that come from? No… He was just shiny. Annoyingly shiny.”

“Was he a paladin?”
“I don’t think so.”

“Was he a death knight like me?”
“Like…Seriously…. He was a walking thing of shiny.”

“If you say shiny, was he wearing cloth or plate?”
“Plate of course.”

“So I’m guessing a paladin.”
“He was a shiny… That’s all he was… A shiny.”

“So a shiny paladin came to find me?”
“Could be.”

“Did he say WHY he was looking for me?
“Most likely to sodomize you. With his squeaky voice and all.” Bafflebean engaged in conversation with some “cat” about a tower, and a forest. She suggested that they go into the forest to find herbs “for science.”

“What color was his hair?”
Bafflebean returned to the discussion. “Helmet colored!” Khroye agreed. “Yes, helmet colored.”

Slithengar grinned, “Well, thank you for the information.”
“No problem.”

“Oh, next time you see him. I don’t know… Stab him in the thigh or something.”
“Or in the right eye with my fork. Got it.”

“Contact me, and let me finish the job.” A strange but soothing thought crept into Slithengar’s mind. “Actually… If you capture this man. I’ll even let you torture.” Khroye grinned, “Now THAT sounds fun. Deal.”

Slithengar placed a hand on Bafflebean’s shoulder. “You heard me right?” Bafflebean jumped, “OH GOD HE’S FOUND ME- oh. What?” Slithengar glared, “You find this shiny person, and we will torture him. Good?”

Bafflebean became wide eyed, “Really? Can I can I?”
Slithengar nodded, “Yep.”
“Oh! Oh splendid!”

Slithengar turned and eyed Duessel again. “I can trust you heard nothing?”
“…Depends.”
“Oh?”

Khroye held out a fork toward Duessel, “You’ll want this… for later.”
“…I’m guessing there’s some clever reason?”
“Indeed. Why else would I offer it to you?”

“Look, it’s no business of mine. But if I see something I don’t like, don’t expect me to keep my spear, sword, axe, whatever to myself, yea?” Right now.. It’s no business of mine. Get what I’m saying?”
Slithengar nodded, “Very well.”

Khroye narrowed his eyes, “Just take… The damn… Fork.”
“I don’t want the damn fork.”
“Leave him alone.”
Khroye squealed, “Take the fork!”
“No fork!”
Slithengar grabbed the fork from Khroye. “I’LL TAKE THE DAMN FORK!”
“See. At least somebody listens.”
Slithengar froze the fork and snapped it in half.
“Oh… You’re horrible.”

More crap to deal with... Perfect.

((Good job, you two. I love it.))

((Yes, yes, it was go- I am not feminine!))

((Well, it got a little creepy there, but that's the way randome rp goes. You just never know where it will take you. Shiny murloc indeed.))