World of Warcraft®

Mika padded into the Blue Recluse and sat down beside Gentyl. The druid gazed at her steadily in that unnerving way feral druids do, until Gentyl reached over to scratch her.

"Mika, have you made peace with the Commander yet?" Mika was still upset that Gentyl had married Commander Turncutt without permission and vowed to dispatch him at the earliest opportunity.

"You mean my next meal? No."

"Mika, you can't be eating him. He's my husband and I'm quite fond of him."

"I'm sure I will be too...with A-1 Steak Sauce. Have you even looked at him?"

Gentyl smiled. "Oh, yes. I've looked at him quite a lot."

Mika wrinkled her nose. "I think I'm going to be sick. Next you're going to tell me you've made potions with him." Making potions was the excuse Twobits used to go in the woods with Gallatin and, well, get to know each other...really well.

Gentyl smiled again. "Many times."

Mika whoofed. "That's it. I'm sick."

Taelanas walked in and sat down with them. He looked between Gentyl and Mika who had purposely turned her back on Gentyl. "Sepha, Mika."

"Taelanas, will you explain to Mika that I truly am married?"

"They married of their own free will. That makes it a legitimate marriage. Is there a problem?'

Mika was in her "I can't hear you" mode and refused to respond.

Taelanas shrugged and ordered a drink. "Anything else going on I need to know about?"

"Just those two horde last night. I think we need to put Spazzer on the wanted list."

Taelanas rubbed the side of his head where Zeruel had cracked him. "Yes, they definitely need to be on the wanted list. That priest is a tough little bast...worm. Pardon, Sepha."

Gentyl smiled and nodded. "Yes, he is. He's not some we want to take lightly."

Gentyl took out a quill and parchment.

WANTED

Spazzer. Undead discipline priest Known to run with blood elf warrior called Zeruel. Spazzer is extremely well-versed in the arts of war. Wanted for murder of civilians in Goldshire and Elwynn Forest, various acts of war and destruction and causing general mayhem.

Approach with extreme caution and blades drawn.

Valve watches silently from the skies above, the horror that Spazzer and Zeruel bring to Goldshire. No respect, no sense of being, completely merciless.

He says to himself, "They follow no code; they are newborns to this act. However, they will learn soon."

(Just to inform the readers, Lawlcat's name has been changed due to a rule violation, so next time you see a druid and then subsequently see the spirit healer, know it was Currency carrying on the spirit of Lawlcat.)

(Oh, I'm glad you let me know. I need to get this updated, but I've been lazy about the writing.)

Gentyl sat down at the desk and looked at the stack of papers on the corner. Tobias, the orphan Pia had adopted, hovered nearby, even more helpful than usual. winter's Veil was just around the corner and he'd been doing everything he could to prove how good he was. If he only knew he was always a pure joy. Well, except for the time he'd taken all the pans outside to rescue tadpoles from shrinking mud puddles. Even that was excusable as he was trying to save the doomed creatures, but Teriis and some of the guards hadn't been happy about the lack of cooking utensils and the resulting cold supper.

"Can I get you some tea, Sepha?" he asked.

"No, thank you. The last cup you brought me is still full. Why don't you see if you can help in the stable?"

"I already offered. They told me you needed me."

"Did they? How thoughtful of them. I need to do these wanted flyers now, so let me think a bit."

"If you can describe them, I'll draw pictures!"

"That's a great idea. The first is an orc warlock named Nearah. She has green skin and black hair and wears a black and purple robe."

He pulled a clean sheet of paper from her desk and got out the box of colors she kept for him in her office, then sat down at a nearby table. "I bet she's scary looking."

"She is scary."

Gentyl thought back to the many battles where they had faced her. Nearah was a formidable fighter. She was skilled, ruthless and tough as nails.

Wanted for crimes against the alliance and humanity. Nearah. Orc warlock formerly with Steam. Currently she is affiliated with Pirates In My Porridge.

This warlock has assaulted several alliance settlements, causing massive death counts and damage. She is skilled in battle and well equipped. Approach with extreme caution and weapons drawn. She will not give up without a fight and she is a deadly fighter.

Wanted--Dead

((Nearah is a pure pleasure to fight. Skilled, honorable and tough. I always wind up dead, but it's still a fun fight. None of the stupid rude emotes and spam lol. Good job and Merry Christmas to Nearah's player.))

She had gotten behind on the wanted list. It was time to sit down and get the posters updated and distributed.

Tyrexus

Forsaken Warlock affiliated with the Modas Il Toralar.

No facial hair, bald, typical moldy bones build of a forsaken. Usually wearing a black and purple robe and a Modas tabard.

Extremely well-spoken, but do not mistake it for civility. Violent temper.

Wanted fro crimes against humanity. Torture, murder and chaos. Consider deadly and kill on sight.

Tobias brought in another pot of tea as she went down the list. "You want me to draw some more pictures for your posters?"

"Sure, Tobias. Your colors are in the box. Get some paper out of my drawer."

He pulled out the lower left hand drawer and gasped. "Sepha, there's a body in your drawer?"

"What!" She looked down. Iecia was curled up in the drawer with with her bear sleeping like a babe. The soft snores disappeared as Gentyl carefully closed the drawer. "No, that's just Iecia sleeping. She's been working hard on some mechanical contraptions. Here, take this paper and draw me some pictures."

"All right. who's next?'

"Arothand. He's a blood elf death knight. Long black hair, the top part is drawn up in a pony tail. Small, trim, black goatee."

"He has a goat?"

"No, like a small, pointed beard."

Wanted

Arothand

Blood elf death knight.

Black hair, worn long. Small trimmed beard. Typical death knight eyes.

Sworn member of the Razortalons.

Extremely skilled and hard to kill. Approach with caution and swords drawn. Consider kill on sight. He usually travels with Raoul, another Razortalon killer.

Wanted for death and destruction of Alliance citizens and property.



Extremely hard to kill

It was a cool, crisp dawn. The night before, the Commander had spoken of seeing a blue light on the ramparts and hearing the sounds of several footsteps. Gentyl noticed the light and pondered the meaning.

Tobias looked up where she was watching. "Ghosts."

Perhaps. No one should have been there with a light, nor should there have been soldiers marching. A solitary patrol only.

Gentyl spent a restless night and awoke before dawn. It was a warning, but of what? She drifted to her office and resumed looking at the wanted posters. It was time to refresh them and renew the rewards.

Wanted Dead

1,000 gold

Tyrexus

Forsaken Warlock affiliated with the Modas Il Toralar.

No facial hair, bald, typical moldy bones build of a forsaken. Usually wearing a black and purple robe and a Modas tabard.

Extremely well-spoken, but do not mistake it for civility. Violent temper.

Wanted for crimes against humanity. Torture, murder and chaos. Wanted in the connection with the torture and murder of a family in Westfall in particular. Consider deadly and kill on sight.

((Got it, Gentyl. We may have room for one or two more, by the way, if you have any more you'd like added!))

((sure let me harass turn. he's doing dree's. I'll post ra's and mae's.))

The blue light remained on the ramparts the following night. Gentyl followed the slight bob as it advanced in some ghostly hand. It reflected off the gloaming mists, creating an ethereal halo. She listened for the footsteps of spectral soldiers on duty even after death had claimed them. Someone from beyond this realm now patrolled Hearthglen with them and it filled her with a sense of dread at the reason.

The Regent had warned her away from marrying the Commander. He was far too old for her. He had one foot in the grave. Did he yet live? How remarkable! And yet it was he who was observant enough to first note the lantern and the steps.

She walked back into the tower and poured a cup of coffee. It was time to finish the posters.

Wanted Dead

Raoul

1,000 Gold Reward

Forsaken mage of the Razortalons. Wearing rust and gold robes with pale blue, glowing gems. Head heavily hooded with two gems. Typical forsaken features.

He specializes in frost and ice with deadly intent.

Wanted for crimes against humanity. He normally travels with a blood death knight called Arothand. They have been involved in several massacres of military and civilians alike. He strikes with no regard to age, sex or ability to defend.

Consider deadly. Kill on sight.

Wanted Dead or Alive

Malthaes

1,000 Gold Reward

Blood elf warlock specializing in destruction. Last seen wearing teal, white and black robes, pauldrons adorned with skulls and red gems. Flowing black hair and goatee. Modas Il Toralar member with no redeeming value.

Wanted in connection with the kidnapping and torture of Pia Presidium paladin Harmyone. Also recognized at the massacre of innocent men, women and children at the Exodar.

Consider extremely dangerous and proceed with caution.

((I hope I'm not opening up a big can of worms with this question, but what about roleplayers who set themselves as OOC prior to pvp action? For example, a roleplaying character sets their status to OOC on their addon (e.g. flagRSP2) before jumping in on a capital city raid. In character, they wouldn't normally be doing that; they're just there to try to earn a mount and/or achievement. Could they still possibly end up on the list?))

Over the course of the next two days, since the wanted posters for Arothand and Raoul appeared, rival flyers began to appear, partially covering Pia's own, though still leaving the important information visible. For every genuine Wanted poster that goes up, the flyer with the pink text is stuck next to or partially on top of it within only a few hours. The flyers are similar in design and style, but 'WANTED' is written in neon pink, and an array of tiny hearts and flowers are drawn around the edges of the papers. Even in the Alliance capitals and towns, the flyers are replaced within the hour if torn down. Clearly someone is paying good gold to make sure they stay up.

Realistically drawn renditions of Arothand and Raoul are placed side by side, with their names in the same ridiculous pink print above them.

Arothand is wearing a straw hat, and pressing his cheek to a round, disgustingly adorable Winterspring cub, but this drawing also includes Thalassian scrollwork and runes that the Death Knight possesses on his face. To say that the artist of the drawing made him look goofily happy and somewhat ridiculously attractive is putting it mildly.

Raoul Zharikov's is even more ridiculous. One would think whoever drew it might consider Zharikov the living(or unliving) bastion of beauty and all things wonderful. The black and white medium really would really have one not even realize he is Forsaken from the clear lack of any visible rotting or bodily wear. The portrait of the Archmagus depicts him grinning winningly, a small bevy of stylized, female Elves of either the Sin'dorei, or Quel'dorei drawn behind him, swooning and fawning over him. His perfectly quaffed, fluffy hair clearly was drawn with a painstaking amount of detail, and the only thing showing his state of undeath are his glowing eyes. A wand in hand is quirked toward the fawning Elves behind him, a burst of cutely drawn hearts(not the beating kind) exploding toward them.

The same flowery text is below them, names listed with their respective names and writing:

Raoul Zharikov, Forsaken male. Mage extrodinaire. Considered an extreme danger to all things dull and boring. Known for disturbingly impeccable taste in clothing and being far too charming for his own good. Activities include eating too many sweets, being insufferably friendly, and more recently discovered puns can be used against others. WARNING: IF YOU APPROACH, HIGHLY ADVISABLE TO BRING COOKIES.

Arothand Lightsworn, Thalassian male. Frustratingly skilled Death Knight. Known to be insufferably kind to small, furry animals and dangerously doting and caring of his friends and loved ones. Has been known to have the gall to defend his homelands with devastating effectiveness. While partially because of the ineffectiveness of many Alliance attacks, it only proves to show his well-honed discipline for combat training. Activities include petting kittens, planting unseemly amounts of vegetables and plants, and, most repulsingly, daring to occasionally feed orphans. WARNING: DO NOT APPROACH. TOO REASONABLE TO BE DEALT WITH.



On the bottom right corner, almost easily missed if not examined thoroughly, is distinctly feminine Common script:

P.S. If you ever describe Raoul Zharikov as 'typical' in anyway again, I may be forced to remove your ability to do anything more than breathe in a most painful way. Love, Ro. (A small heart is drawn in next to her name)

((@Rowanne, ...AMAZING. xD Which isn't to say that A-side's posts aren't also amazing, because they are, and I think this thread is a brilliant idea, but...I loves me my satire, too. xD I bow to you.))

(( Ro I love it! *pulls out a stamp and pats it into a bright red ink pad.*
I think this goes right here *roughly stamps Ro's post as the stamp reads "The official Leighan stamp of approval' *))

((Wait...we're allowed to stamp things? I want in on this too! *Applies a stamp of his own, and the stamp reads "GLOOOOORIOUS."*))

((no no. Only a select fee are allowed to place an approval stamp on her post. I've stolen her fair and square there for I am allowed. She just you know...isn't aware I stole her >.>))

((I hope I'm not opening up a big can of worms with this question, but what about roleplayers who set themselves as OOC prior to pvp action? For example, a roleplaying character sets their status to OOC on their addon (e.g. flagRSP2) before jumping in on a capital city raid. In character, they wouldn't normally be doing that; they're just there to try to earn a mount and/or achievement. Could they still possibly end up on the list?))

((No one should be afraid to post comments on threads. i don't have any rp addons for one reason, i chatlog a lot of stuff so the conversations in stories will be accurate. it's so much easier than having to spend days hashing out that someone said this and not that. the downside is it logs literally hundreds of pages. rp addons double the pages i have to sift through because they record so much background trash. so, even if we were on same faction, i wouldn't be able to read your notes. can you read cross faction notes?

the purpose of the wanteds was to encourage world pvp. i love bgs, but world pvp has a whole other flavor to it and pia wants to help bring it back.

the ones who end up on the wanted lists are normally ones who attack alliance holdings. i wouldn't usually include individual names on the list of raids obviously going for achieves. plus, if a person doesn't want to be on a wanted poster, a simple note to me suffices. i will remove the name.))

P.S. If you ever describe Raoul Zharikov as 'typical' in anyway again, I may be forced to remove your ability to do anything more than breathe in a most painful way. Love, Ro. (A small heart is drawn in next to her name)

this brings up a question. to be honest, i'm swamped right now, but if people want i can contact them to get a more accurate description for the wanted posters or people can contact me and i can correct them.

as for the threat...get in line.