World of Warcraft®

Is you feelin de pain in your 'eart mon? Does you gots the bad hoodoo afflictin you spirit? Do de voices of de ancestors tells ya at night of all de failin of de world? Is you burdened wit' a pain you cants define?

Hello Mon, I be Brudda Zalmar, an' I's 'ere ta 'elp mon. Now, you might be askin yourself, "'Ows dis fine lookin' specimen of trollish 'andsomeness and style gonna be 'elpin poor old me now?" And dat's a fine question, cause truly, a 'eavy 'eart is a terrible t'ing, but be not 'avin de fears! For I 'as de salve ta all your pain, right 'ere in me good book!

Dat's right bruddas an' sistahs, I got de answer, right here, de book of de light, in which ALL t'ings are made 'ole, and ALL questions answered, ALL pains eased, and ALL trut's revealed.

It is me finest pleasure ta share dis wit' you, so I asks ya… what's troublin you? Tell me ya problems, and by de grace of de light, we will pray, and speak, and togeddah, togeddah we will find de way to de 'ome of your 'eart, and you will know de peace that you crave.

I am, as always, at your service:
Brudda Zalmar, Priest of de Light

((OOC: preacher troll at it again. Ask him anything!))

"Dear Zalmar Troll-thing,

Sssometimesss, when we are out and about upon our perambulationsss, we are sssuddenly and for no good reassson attacked by the Earthmother, yesss. Her Green Light blassstsss down from the heavensss, following usss wherever we go, burning and freezing, yesss! We get encasssed by erupting earth cryssstalsss at odd momentsss too, yesss."

"Sssometimesss, when visssiting certain placesss in the world, beingsss garble at usss and we are blasssted by White Lightsss, which caussse usss pain and tickling, yesss. We once visssited the Ssstormwind cathedral, and leaked upon it'sss Altar Cloth, yesss. The Dark Lady knowsss, we try to remain inoffensssive to sssmall children, but accidentsss keep occurring during a certain Children's week of the year, yesss. Isss it our fault if raptorsss and lionsss caught them, yesss? We thought children were fassster than that, after all, yesss."

** Abominus looks at the 342 braids of children hair he made into a belt that one week alone. **

"Pleassse help Abominusss underssstand thessse eventsss, yesss?"

Hello, uh, mon! (Did I say it right?) I've just got one small question...

What do you do when others' opinion of you and your opinion of you don't match up? Not in a bad way, just in general.

Drakehide sighs at the notice as he walks by the posting board, near the Orgrimmar mailbox. Another preacher, flaunting a connection to the Light. He had never been fond of the Light, whatever it was, or however it worked - it made the Alliance's priests and paladins very, very difficult to kill. This was a great inconvenience, on a field of battle.

But...Drakehide felt like recently he had tried to address his most recent problem with every other solution, and things were escalating beyond his control. He needed help. Help that, perhaps, mortals could not provide. And so the son of Rukh penned an anonymous message, and dropped in inconspicuously in the message box.

Perhaps the troll would have the answers that Drakehide sought...

Brudda Zalmar...I'm sorry, is Brudda your first name, or a title? And if the latter, am I spelling it correctly...?

I am not a firm believer in the Light. Not by far. In fact, the Light is about as far away from my own personal beliefs as one can possibly get. I find recently, however, that I carry a heavy, deep burden...and if you possess some spiritual gift, some otherwordly grace, or a connection to the divine that I lack, I would ask your assistance, if you are willing to give it.

I find myself caught between a rock and a very hard place. I am, myself, upset by a slaving ring that has recently come to my attention. Some of my friends - friends within the Horde who have connections among the Kal'Dorei - are even more displeased by this, since some of the slaves in question are night elves being used as harem slaves . My companions are even now pursuing a...potentially dangerous, treasonous course of action. A course that could harm many people, destroy many lives, on both sides of this war.

I do not know how long I can keep this at bay, or how long I can prevent disaster. I agree with my friends' cause, and I agree that if the slaving ring cannot be stopped it should at least be addressed in a more ethical, decent fashion...but I cannot condone a course of action that could potentially bring harm to the Horde.

I am doing my utmost to establish a dialogue among the facilitators of this slave trade, and my friends, to see if a settlement that suits us all might be reached, before this turns into an open conflict, but...diplomacy is not my strongest suit. Unless it is diplomacy with an axe. And so, Brudda Zalmar, I come to you with two questions.

One: In my place, what would you do? How would you proceed? If it comes to the point where I must choose between my friends, and my family among the Horde...if one's mind and heart are telling them vastly different things, what should one choose? How should one choose, in these matters...?

Two: Would you pray for me, on my behalf? If you do possess a connection to the divine...I would appreciate it greatly if you would speak to them on my behalf. Right now, I feel like I need all the help I can get.

I thank you for your time. Aka'Magosh - spirits' blessings.

- A Very Troubled Warrior

Oh my Bruddas....

You 'as de question, and I'n'I be answering den, but first, I communes wit' de light, and brings de wisdom of de 'Oly Radiance down to has. It be a fine fine t'ing, you be coin, given your fates over to de light, and I promises you, I be answerin'.

Brudda Z

((OOC: holycrap, questions. Okay, sometimes today, answers will be forthcoming.))

((No worries! Take your time. ^^ Sorry for bombarding you!))

EDIT: ((I find myself repeatedly reading Abom's question, because I's having a slow day over here and it's making me ROFL. 'Tis a much needed ROFL, and I thank you for that. Brilliant, Abom, sir, brilliant. xD))

Dear Brudda Abomination:

Dis ain' gon' be pretty, but I gots ta tell it like da light tells it ta me. So here it is brudda, brace yaself mon.

Da simple matter of t'ings is, you shouldn't be. You is an abomination, a blight 'pon de land. A foul wretch, cast upon dese shores wit' no hope of peace or reason for existence. You is, as dey sez, a crime against all dat is, and woe betide your miserable existnce. Loathed by sky and sea, hated by all life dat grows or walks or t'inks, you are the very definition of rot, of vile disease, and a burden dat de world is constantly tryin ta salve.

You ever had an itch brudda? An itch you just can't reach no matter how many arms ya rip off tryin ta scratch it? Dat, dat me brudda, dat is what you feel when the green light of da eart'mudda shines down 'pon ya, or de very eart' rises up ta seal you away. da very bones of de world, de beat' of all that t'is tryin ta send you to da rest and final peace ya been so long denied my brudda. Rejoice in dis 'appenin, for it be a sign, a sign dat despite your wretched state, de earth and de sky, dey still cares. Dey cares enough ta want you to move on de cycle of existence. Just as your little friends (who, judging from de state of your face, be tryin ta move you along as well) moves da beast from the realm of life to da soil, so e very land of Azeroth be tryin ta move you to da next state of bein'.

And dat burning you feel when de 'Oly Light be upon you? Dat just be de light ways of saying it loves you. De light, it wants o 'eal you, to 'elp you, to set your poor trapped soul free to find it's true bliss. But de curse keeping you trapped, de light fights dat, and dat be de pain you feel. It ain't no pain of hate be brudda, it be a pain of love. Love and a desperate desire to do whats right by you. You should rejoice in dat pain me brudda, for as long as dat pain be a art of you, you knows you is never far from de final salvation.

As for de Children.... jus' ... jus' ... jus' don' mon. It ain' wort' it. Leave dem poor little t'ings be. Dey ain't like us. Dey don't understand, an' it ain't fair ta dem ta be dealin' wit you're problems. What you doin wit' dem, it ain't right mon. Think about how dey must feel, what dey must be t'inkin. Next time you comes into contact wit'a child, just asks ya self "WWBZD?" (What Would Brudda Zalmar Do?"), — an' just...let dem be.

Yours in de light
Brudda Zalmar

"Dear Zalmar Troll-thing,

Sssometimesss, when we are out and about upon our perambulationsss, we are sssuddenly and for no good reassson attacked by the Earthmother, yesss. Her Green Light blassstsss down from the heavensss, following usss wherever we go, burning and freezing, yesss! We get encasssed by erupting earth cryssstalsss at odd momentsss too, yesss."

"Sssometimesss, when visssiting certain placesss in the world, beingsss garble at usss and we are blasssted by White Lightsss, which caussse usss pain and tickling, yesss. We once visssited the Ssstormwind cathedral, and leaked upon it'sss Altar Cloth, yesss. The Dark Lady knowsss, we try to remain inoffensssive to sssmall children, but accidentsss keep occurring during a certain Children's week of the year, yesss. Isss it our fault if raptorsss and lionsss caught them, yesss? We thought children were fassster than that, after all, yesss."

** Abominus looks at the 342 braids of children hair he made into a belt that one week alone. **

"Pleassse help Abominusss underssstand thessse eventsss, yesss?"

Dear Brudda Lahkin

Why you be givin a worry ta dis mon? 'Ere me brudda, blaze up on dis and let it go mon. De only t'ings you got ta be worried about is, is you being the best man you can be, an' is you right by de light? What anyone else t'ink don't mean a golden tinkers damn. Not even what I says mon (although you be wise ta listen anyway.....I'n'I t'inks so...).

You do right by de ones you love, you takes care of de bidness like you gots ta, you reveres de light and keep da fait', and you let de rest, aye mon, you let de rest take care of itself.

Stay 'Oly Mon
Brudda Zalmar

Hello, uh, mon! (Did I say it right?) I've just got one small question...

What do you do when others' opinion of you and your opinion of you don't match up? Not in a bad way, just in general.

((Haha, brilliant. Thanks, Zalmar!))

Troubled:

It took me a time ta t'ink a dis me Brudda, for you got problems mon, truly. But I t'ink I can be 'elpin ya. De light says I'n'I at least gots ta try - otherwise, what kinda priest I be eh?

I'll answer dese questions backwards, as dats da easier route. Ta speak ta yer second request, I'n'I already sending my prayers to de light on your behalf brudda. The troubles got you by de short an' curlies as we trolls say, and surely a prayer be de right t'ing ta be 'elpin dat. (Well, a prayer an' a lady troll, but dat ain' here nor dere…)

For de first one though. Shadows' Teats mon, you got one of de definin' troubles of de 'orde dere. Duty versus Honor, doin right by de 'orde versus doin right. I will say dis, was I in your position, I would not let de slavery stand, whedder dat took de talkin or de fightin, I would stand for what be right. And I t'ink you feel da same way. I got me some experience wit' slavery, and de Light, it don' want nobody bein a slave. T'rall saved 'is poeple from de slavery. Vol'Jin keepin us trolls free. Dem Na'ru saved dem Elfs from dey slavery to da bad voodoo. De 'whole 'istory of de 'orde be one of bein' free and bein' tru ta yourselves. Spirit, honor, and all dat we as 'orde is demds dat we put an end to it.

When it come to t'ings like is, de Greater Good it come before silly t'ings like nation. Dem Twilights, dem Scourge, dem Zandalari, dey gots no problem wit' de slavery, bot' spiritual and physical. You sayin you wanna be like dem? 'OWEVER REMOTE de similarity be? I be t'inkin not.

We can't let dis kind of evil corrupt what we is trying ta build 'ere in de 'orde.

You wants ta talk more, I am at your service me brudda. All you gots ta do is call me. I wish you teh peace of ya convictions, and 'hope for de best for ya.

Wit' Concern and 'Ope
Your brudda in Light
Zalmar

Brudda Zalmar...I'm sorry, is Brudda your first name, or a title? And if the latter, am I spelling it correctly...?

I am not a firm believer in the Light. Not by far. In fact, the Light is about as far away from my own personal beliefs as one can possibly get. I find recently, however, that I carry a heavy, deep burden...and if you possess some spiritual gift, some otherwordly grace, or a connection to the divine that I lack, I would ask your assistance, if you are willing to give it.

I find myself caught between a rock and a very hard place. I am, myself, upset by a slaving ring that has recently come to my attention. Some of my friends - friends within the Horde who have connections among the Kal'Dorei - are even more displeased by this, since some of the slaves in question are night elves being used as harem slaves . My companions are even now pursuing a...potentially dangerous, treasonous course of action. A course that could harm many people, destroy many lives, on both sides of this war.

I do not know how long I can keep this at bay, or how long I can prevent disaster. I agree with my friends' cause, and I agree that if the slaving ring cannot be stopped it should at least be addressed in a more ethical, decent fashion...but I cannot condone a course of action that could potentially bring harm to the Horde.

I am doing my utmost to establish a dialogue among the facilitators of this slave trade, and my friends, to see if a settlement that suits us all might be reached, before this turns into an open conflict, but...diplomacy is not my strongest suit. Unless it is diplomacy with an axe. And so, Brudda Zalmar, I come to you with two questions.

One: In my place, what would you do? How would you proceed? If it comes to the point where I must choose between my friends, and my family among the Horde...if one's mind and heart are telling them vastly different things, what should one choose? How should one choose, in these matters...?

Two: Would you pray for me, on my behalf? If you do possess a connection to the divine...I would appreciate it greatly if you would speak to them on my behalf. Right now, I feel like I need all the help I can get.

I thank you for your time. Aka'Magosh - spirits' blessings.

- A Very Troubled Warrior

Dear Zalmar,

Normally I would take this to me own priest... but me priest is a woman, and may not understand.

I first met a goblin over in K-3 named 'Boom-Boom', and let me tell ya Zalmar... dang if she didn't have the biggest set of bombs! I was in love!
Then she wanted... to make, to make me gun bigger.. see, I was using the kickback5000 at the time. She kept having me bring her kegs of goblin rocket fuel... and also had me out night and day questing for gold to fund the projects.

Then one evening I came to K-3... *ink smudge*

Boom-Boom... that treacherous *ink smudge & smears* she was showing off her wares to.. to some goblin! *ink smudge* I just felt so... violated Zalmar..

And it didn't stop there!

There I was in stormwind with a now useless little black dress & rose bouquet, when I saw a goblin run vendor station near the bank. I find out 'dwarf hunters' are added to some sort of achievement during the love is in the air holiday!! Boom-Boom not only broke me heart... she had to tell the world about it too! For the love of Ale!!!

Now I get bombarded daily with rose petals everywhere I go.. Really! Now picture this Zalmar, there I be fighting on the Molten front.... Rose petals! Out of no where!! Rose petals!!

Does the hurt ever go away? Will goblin sapper girls ever get what's coming to them?.. And will the stench of roses ever get out of me armor?

- Dargoe

Brudda Dargoe....

I don' know wat ta tell ya Brudda, you run afoul of one of de fiercest beasts in de 'orde brudda. De Goblin Cougah. All I can recommend ta soothe ya bleedin 'eart is ya drink, drink till da 'urtin stops brudda, den drink again till dem roses stops a stinkin, den finally, drink some more ta keep dat 'angover t bay. And pray to de 'Oly Light dat you find true love dat don't be checking yer pocketbook more dan yer 'eart.

De only known cure for a Goblin Cougar, well, dat be a Troll Lady, and you bein you, I don' t'ink dat's gonna be an option me Brudda, I means, you could try, but it mos' likely' not de healt'iest of ideas for ya. Not many of you folks got de *ahem* stamina... ta keeps ups wit' a trol lady. If you unnerstand where I'm a comin from.

Al'dough, maybe wit' ya "stoneform" you might... well. Dis be a column on faith' and de matter of spirit.

I wish you de best of luck brudda.

Wit' Sympat'y
Brudda Zalmar

p.s. I bin dere Brudda. Truly, when you takes ta drinkin, 'ave one for me.

((OOC: These post have been so much fun to read, & write! I periodically write journal entries and thought I would share my link to show an idea of what could be possible. Its always a work in progress.

http://dargoe.weebly.com/index.html ))

((Zalmar, this is a brilliant thread. xD Thank you for the response to Drake's IC problem! I'll be sure to write back if Drake ever finds himself needing further advice.))

((*thumbs up this whole thread* :D You guys are the best))

Dear Zalmar;

I recognize that this is a long shot, but I was hoping you might shed light on a peculiar problem of mine. You see, I have not one, but two sets of dual natures to wrestle with. The first, perhaps not obviously since I am writing, is that I have fallen prey to the Worgen Curse. I imagine this might be something I could handle on my own were it not for the second problem: I am also a student of the Light, but one who has become disconcertingly comfortable using its everpresent opposite, the Shadow.

I have come across those who say it's nothing to worry about, that the Shadow is simply the absence of the Holy Light, and others who warn me with dark tales of addiction. I must say that to this point I have not felt any addictive tendencies or withdrawal pangs; however I will concede that certain... problems solve themselves quicker, shall we say, when I have the Shadow to hand. Things die. With alacrity. You know how it is, you don't want to kill, but there you are, standing over a corpse and your Shadowfiend has its wriggly tentacles penetrating the poor victim's fading spiritual fabric, and all the while you're thinking how darned good it is to let yourself loose for a while. You know, let the fur fly. No? You don't have this problem? I freely admit, it may just be me.

I used to think that using the Shadow was a sin, but now I'm not sure what to think. Am I giving in to temptation by using the convenience, or simply being prudent? And why is it so much easier to be, well, furry when I'm using it?

Any insight you have would be very much appreciated.

- Sleepless in Stormwind

Brudda Zalmar,

Throm'ka! Your reply filled me with inspiration, during a most dark hour. While I cannot give specifics, I intend to continue my campaign against slavery, come what may. Your words brought me a great deal of hope, and for that I am most grateful. I find myself in your debt.

I come to you, however, given the present season, with concerns of a slightly more...personal nature. Lady trouble. Specifically troll lady trouble. Which, based on your previous response to me, is a subject I suspect you have a great deal of knowledge and/or experience with.

I had this same problem at Winter's Veil. I am hoping you can give me an idea other than a baby raptor egg. Because, while the gift of a baby raptor is a wonderful thing, the more often I give her a baby raptor the more I lose points for originality.

What do you recommend, during this festive, foolish season of love? Should I do all of the things other races do - lovely dresses, chocolates, roses, running to random-!@# corners of the globe in search of achievement points (whatever those are)? Or should I dispense with the pleasantries, club her over the head, drag her off to some remote cave, and give her a good...uh...well, you know the rest.

She is the one, great love of my life. She is my Lok'Rega, my love song. Just thinking of her fills me with courage in battle. She has saved my life, more than once, and my life has been saved many more times just by the thought of her. She means everything to me.

In summary, my question: What romantic gift should one give a troll lady, to show how he feels for her?

Many thanks, my friend. Aka'Magosh!

A Slightly Less Troubled But Still Otherwise Rather Flustered Warrior

Sistah Sleepless Got de Voodoo!

You got de problem wit'ya soul sistah, and you bettah get right wit' de light before you get mired in de doodoo of de voodoo! De shadow ain't nothin to treat lightly Sistah, specially not for you. See, I know a t'ing or two about de cursin, we trolls, we got de Voodoo in our hearts all de time sistah. It ain't some'tin I'm proud of , but it is what t is. Now I ain't claimin ta know whats wit' yu and de wolfy t'ing, but I do know, what defines us an our relationship to de light, well, it ain't dat we don't feel de darker side, cuz we do, what defines us is 'ow we DEALS wit' dat darker side. Do we give in, just "let de fur fly" as you says? Or does we aspire to some'tin higher, some'tin purer, and some'tin greater dan ourselves?

Dose who be tellin you you got nuttin ta worry about, dey ain't right by de light. Addiction is some'tin you never see comin till it be too late. You best be believin' ole Brudda Zalmar on dis one sistah, I'n'I had trouble findin dis out de hard way. De shadow is not just the absence of de 'Oly Light, it is de absence of every'ting. All love, all peace, all life, de shadow is nothing, in de end, you be nuthin BUT de shadow. And I don' know bout you, but we gots too much to live for on dis plane ta be fadin ta nuttin but shadow.

It's trut', dere ain't no shadow witout light, and de shadow, it defines de light, but as priests, we is de light. You go shadow, well, you might call yourself a priest on de outside, but on de inside, it ain't de same t'ing at all.

I be t'ink it be time to pray, to understand which path you be truly walkin, and make your choice. Cuz walkin bot' at once, dat ain't no way ta live.

Wit de Love of de Light, and de 'Ope for ya Soul
Brudda Zalmar

p.s. could be you just needs ta find a nice wolfy fella and get dem energies out in a more productive mannah...if ya know what I means.....

Dear Zalmar;

I recognize that this is a long shot, but I was hoping you might shed light on a peculiar problem of mine. You see, I have not one, but two sets of dual natures to wrestle with. The first, perhaps not obviously since I am writing, is that I have fallen prey to the Worgen Curse. I imagine this might be something I could handle on my own were it not for the second problem: I am also a student of the Light, but one who has become disconcertingly comfortable using its everpresent opposite, the Shadow.

I have come across those who say it's nothing to worry about, that the Shadow is simply the absence of the Holy Light, and others who warn me with dark tales of addiction. I must say that to this point I have not felt any addictive tendencies or withdrawal pangs; however I will concede that certain... problems solve themselves quicker, shall we say, when I have the Shadow to hand. Things die. With alacrity. You know how it is, you don't want to kill, but there you are, standing over a corpse and your Shadowfiend has its wriggly tentacles penetrating the poor victim's fading spiritual fabric, and all the while you're thinking how darned good it is to let yourself loose for a while. You know, let the fur fly. No? You don't have this problem? I freely admit, it may just be me.

I used to think that using the Shadow was a sin, but now I'm not sure what to think. Am I giving in to temptation by using the convenience, or simply being prudent? And why is it so much easier to be, well, furry when I'm using it?

Any insight you have would be very much appreciated.

- Sleepless in Stormwind

Aka'Magosh dere ta you too Brudda Slightly Less!

'Ows it 'angin Brudda? I hear you gots some trubbles wit de Troll Ladies. Well don' you fear no hoodoo brudda, Zalmar be 'ere ta be your Wingtroll of de Light!

Now, about your problem, see, de t'ing wit' de troll ladies is, dey appreciates t'ree t'ings. Endurance, Ent'usiasm, and Creatvity. So, you gots ta t'ink of some'tin dat combines dose t'ree principles, and den you be golden in 'er eyes mon.

So, in dat spirit, no, you definately don' wat ta be chasin all over de 'ither and yon fer dem damnable "point" t'ings. You do what everyone else does, she gone to BE wit' "everyone else". You gots ta t'ink of somet'in dat could only come for you brudda, somet'in dat says what she means ta you, and dat only you and 'er would know of mon. Somet'in pesonal. Whether ya make it, buy, or chop it off an gives it to her, dat don' matter none, as long as it says "You is de fire of me heart, de sun dat makes me rise each and every day, and de trusted shelter of my travels 'pon the night's dreamin oceans. To you I pledge dat always an' alla days I be bein true ta you."…
…
…
… or some'tin like dat.

Now, En'thusiasm, well, dat epends on you Brudda. 'Ow you sho dat, dat's something only you can figger out. For myself, I'd shout it from de rooftops, I'd wake the city wit' a pledge of love dat bouced from de deepest dept's of de Drag to the tallest towers of dat Dalaran City. But y'know, dat's just me. Better yet, you be 'elpin your lady do somet'in SHE Wants ta do. Maybe dat's you, maybe dats some'tin else, make no mattah mon. It be her call aftah all. You do it, and you likes it. AN' NOOOO FAKIN' MON, de wimmens, dey always know.

And finally, endurance. Dis be a BIG one Brudda. Probably DE biggest one, if you ain't got what trolls got. And dat be best expressed by just 'ow tricky de ting you given is ta get. You pickin flowers from de barrens? You ain't no lover man. You pickin' flowers (or shiny purple toys, it be up ta you Brudda, choose wise) from underneat' de lurker below in de serpentshrine cavern? You be one might fine fella with the MASSIVE Mojo. Pick a challenge, find some'tin beautiful and rare, and gives it away mon. Dat be de way to go.

Again Brudda, Endurance, Ent'usiam, and Creativity. You sticks wit' dose t'ree, you be allllllright.

In deLight
Brudda Zalmar

Brudda Zalmar,

Throm'ka! Your reply filled me with inspiration, during a most dark hour. While I cannot give specifics, I intend to continue my campaign against slavery, come what may. Your words brought me a great deal of hope, and for that I am most grateful. I find myself in your debt.

I come to you, however, given the present season, with concerns of a slightly more...personal nature. Lady trouble. Specifically troll lady trouble. Which, based on your previous response to me, is a subject I suspect you have a great deal of knowledge and/or experience with.

I had this same problem at Winter's Veil. I am hoping you can give me an idea other than a baby raptor egg. Because, while the gift of a baby raptor is a wonderful thing, the more often I give her a baby raptor the more I lose points for originality.

What do you recommend, during this festive, foolish season of love? Should I do all of the things other races do - lovely dresses, chocolates, roses, running to random-!@# corners of the globe in search of achievement points (whatever those are)? Or should I dispense with the pleasantries, club her over the head, drag her off to some remote cave, and give her a good...uh...well, you know the rest.

She is the one, great love of my life. She is my Lok'Rega, my love song. Just thinking of her fills me with courage in battle. She has saved my life, more than once, and my life has been saved many more times just by the thought of her. She means everything to me.

In summary, my question: What romantic gift should one give a troll lady, to show how he feels for her?

Many thanks, my friend. Aka'Magosh!

A Slightly Less Troubled But Still Otherwise Rather Flustered Warrior

Once again the elegantly ecclesiastical troll saunters through Orgrimmar, Shattrath, and Dalaran, posting this and there, wherever he can:

Ey Dere Weepy, why you so down?

'As ya lovah left ya? 'as ya pet hellhound up and died? Are ya feelin down me bruddas and sistahs? Do de twin terrors of duty and discipline be weighin on ya more dan ya t'ink ya can bear? 'As some'tin got ya by de short hairs of de soul, and bringin ya low?

You come 'ere now, and be tellin' Brudda Zalmar all about it. I be keepin your problems private, I be dishin out de wisdon such as de light reveals it to me, and I don' be pullin no punches. I givin' you de truth, de light, and de way t'rough ya troubles.

Don' be goin to no two bit 'eadshrinkah, dey only wants ya money. And don't be listenin to dem demonic voices, dey only wants ya soul. It be true mon, dere be only one place ta be turning for de real word dese days, and dat be Brudda Zalmar. Why mon? You gots ta ask why? It be real simple mon, I don' want nuttin in return but ta see de people doin right.

So speak up, sing out, and bring it ta me, I be feelin' ya mon...
Brudda Zalmar
Advice, Alchemicals, and Agony Alleviation - alla dis and Deliveries too!