World of Warcraft®

Nicias pulled his sword out of the corpse of the undead as quick as he could. The sword was stuck in the ribs of a undead fiend. Another came charging at him. He growled in frustration as he heaved with all his might. He lifted the sword and corpse up and blocked a sword strike from the skeletal monster. Nicias swung his sword and then the corpse flew off at his opponent knocking it off balance enough for Nicias to finish a simple execution technique.

Nicias Had only been fighting for a few hours now, but it seemed like days. The squad he started with had gone back, as their shift was up. Nicias chose to stay. He joined the next squad and helped them slay the onslaught of foes. With every sword swing, with every shield block, he hoped he would feel something! Yet the void in his chest could not be filled. The pain hurt more than any sword could ever inflict upon him.

He raised his shield and blocked another blow and then quickly began going into a flurry of counter attacks. His sword struck true multiple times and he soon shattered his skeletal foe. He set his sword down into the snow and took deep breaths. He was getting tired, yet still no feeling. He pulled out his water skin and quickly drank. The water was freezing and some of it even frozen inside the skin. He scowled at this and threw the skin upon the snowy ground.

A form soon came up behind him, yet Nicias did not see it. It slowly crept behind him and by the time Nicias turned it was too late. A hand placed itself on his shoulder and he turned to see a masked elf. He held a letter and told him it was orders from the higher ups. And with that the messenger quickly left.

Nicias opened the letter and quickly read it over. A forward recon squad had been ambushed and is trapped. They need immediate assistance from Nicias and his squad. He quickly read it over again and headed out of the frontlines to the small forward camp where his squad lay resting. Perhaps saving these men would make him feel.

Mal'tar quickly dragged the body and hid it in the snow. He smiled at how smoothly things were going. Kel may have told Nicias herself, but he was prepared. He quickly pulled out the letter he had prepared before hand and smiled. Soon his brother would be dead, and perhaps a heart broken Kel would end her life. He would kill two birds with one dagger. He quickly covered his face and pulled the messangers cloak over himself as he headed to the front lines to deliver the "message" Mal'tar grinned wickedly, pleased with himself yet again. "Soon", he whispered, "Soon it will all be don, and my revenge complete!"

I held her close to me, her passionate lips pressing against my own, and as I looked into her eyes, I could see the desire, the want,...the hunger we both shared for one another. We were both on fire, burning wildly on the kisses we shared, and in my mind I saw...

We were sitting close, her warmth felt good in my arms, as I kissed her tenderly, without reserve. Mia, my one true love, forever mine...I vowed to never hurt her, to care for her, and to always love her...and I remembered the look in her eyes, the trust, the love...

I held Kel'tira in my arms, we had come together for one night to fulfill our desires, our wants for each other. One night of passion to live a lifetime in our minds, to satisfy that hunger we both knew existed between us...and I could not. As much as I wanted to hold her, and feel her like the woman I felt I needed to experience, to bring her the all the passion I could bring to her...I could not.

I could say it was for the marriage she had with Nicias, but I would be lying...the only reason I stopped was for Karamia. Karamia...how she loved me, kept me, and was always there for me. She was my fortifier, and she built me up when I was weak. And I found that the one night I wanted with Kel'tira, was not enough to sacrifice the love we had built together - Mia and I.

And I placed my hands upon Kel's shoulders, and pushed her gently away, and told her we needed to stop. Her eyes smouldered with hunger and desire (how long had I wanted to see that look from Kel, to know that it was me she wanted so badly?) and I stepped away from her.

(And in the back of my mind I heard the "ping" of a certain runestone as it released itself from the place where it had been attached for so many years, centuries...ions.) Kel had said no before, but I pressed her. We both knew it was wrong, and still we let our basest nature take over, we let our desire, our lust for one another win out over our own better judgement.

I loved this woman I held in my arms one last time. I kissed her with complete abandoned, placing all my desire and hunger for her, her body, her mind, her very soul in that one last kiss. And I left her there...alone.

1/2

2/2 Why? Why? Why? Why?

I was tormented. I had become that monster that I could never understand - a cheater. How could I have thrown away all the love, the tears, and the joys we had away...for a moment of pleasure? She was everything to me, and more. Karamia was my soulmate, the one for me, no one would ever take her place...she completed me on so many levels. And the depths of intimacy we achieved...not just the physical...the personal intimacies...sharing our souls, and our minds...caring for each other like a wife and husband would. Had I forgotten all that?

Had I forgotten all that? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? I keep asking myself over and over again. Why? Why? Why? Why?

They (whomever "they" are?) say that confession is good for the soul...it's not...it merely spreads the pain and anguish on to those who don't deserve it, and must now live with what you have done, or didn't do. I spoke to Mia of my failing the test.

My heartbroke as she screamed at me. Let Vira torture me with hot daggers, her succubus whip me to death, but please, I cannot bear to hear the sobs I heard from Mia afterwards, they will be forever etched into my heart and brain. I saw her red, tear-stained eyes look at me with contempt, at my betrayal of her love she had kept for me. The anguish of asking me why. I could but whisper, 'I don't know.'

I think a weaker woman would have left. Would have thrown whatever we once had away, and never looked back. But not my Karamia, no, she wasn't going to let some "floozie" come between us. She became a fiercly protective woman, wanting me only for herself, and pity the woman who thought they could seperate us. They would feel her wrath, and whoa, there was a wrath.

I spent the night with my beloved Karamia. And I have never been so worn out and pleased in all my life. She was a tigress, and she let me know where our love would continue from then on, throughout the night. I finally fell a sleep, drained, and beside her in the early part of dawn.

The Paladin Said his last goodbyes to Triana before he left to outland, He hung his head as he did not know how long he would be gone, or how long it would be before he got to hold her in his arms once more, He loved her....altho He did not even know it yet, Fel He almost didn't want to leave, He spent one last night with her one to remember before he took off in the break of day, He hopes to make somthing out of this relationship, Not just lust...or a fling, He wishes to stay with his lover as long as he can.

I said bye to her this morning, and then I was off to Hellfire, I spent most of my day there, then they sent me off to Zangarmarsh, Its nice here, Well Sorta, I could do with out all the mushrooms and stuff, But the rain and the creatures, Its beautiful I can't wait till I go home and see her again, I don't honestly Know how she feels, but still...She means alot to me, tonight I heard them saying somthing about me going out to terrokar forest! That place sounds a bit iffy if you tell me, but the more I do what They want the sooner I can go home.

Signed, Loki Soulfire, Unsaintly Paladin

I cant believe it? I am sitting there, in a bar...and there she is, Kel'tira...I sat there and I thought for a moment, Did she come to apologize? What is going on, Anyways..She looked in trouble, She was saying crazy things? She was being Mind interrogated from Ash, From what I could tell...I couldn't bear to see her like that, so I took her to my home so she could rest, my best friend...my sister....She was still under attack by Ash, So I froze her brain...to keep it out of Ash's grasp just for a while, We talked for a little...She feels bad about what she did, but I told her It is our decisions that decide our fate, and we must deal with the consiquences no matter what they are, But she still has my blade, and my trust...and my friendship, I am there for her, as she was for me that day...She was didn't know where she was going to go, So I offered her my home as a place to stay, It was secluded, and away from civilization, but She politly declined, she said that she didn't want any one to think somthing was going on between us as well, I told her not to go back for her things, So I gave her A purse full of gold and my best wishes...I hope to see my friend soon..

Where Is Auxilia..I need her...Now more than ever....

Tislina sat at one of the many desks where the mages trained, writing in her journal.

Today was great. I met Krei at the infirmary and we went to sit at a bench near the fountain in the Court Of The Sun. Then we went to our spot and sat together for what seemed like forever. Something is going on though. I asked him if he too felt the tension in the air and he seemed to remember something. When i asked what he said Kel had made him promise not to tell. I didn't press for details. He made a promise, and if Kel wished to tell me, she will when she is ready. Krei has to leave somewhere though. I didn't have time to ask where because I was late for mage practice. When I was gathering my things he said, "In case I don't make it back..." And he kissed me. And I kissed him back. He told me he would see me when he got back, and then I ran all the way to Silvermoon. Thats all for now, I am needed to demonstrate what a proper Arcane Barrage looks like.

Nicias marched through the snow with his ten comrades. They had marched for hours yet still no sign of the missing recon team. Nicias ordered a halt and they took a small break. Nicias stood there and looked around. All he could see was white. The sun was behind a cloud and it was getting dark and cold.

"We must make camp soon" He said. Grillick, an Orc warrior nodded in agreement and put down the heavy supply pack. Nicias stared around and gripped his shield. He felt uneasy, and he did not like being out here at night. They set up camp but did not create any fires as to avoid attention of unwanted encounters.

Two sentries were posted as everyone else went to bed. Nicias and Grillick were the first on duty. They patrolled the perimeter and chatted about warm food and warm beds. Nicias avoided talking about kel, as he was still void of any true feeling.

After about an hour Nicias went back and woke up a young female elf. Casania yawned and slowly woke up as Nic told her it was her shift. She smiled at him as she headed out of the small makeshift tent they had set up. Nicias quickly headed over to his spot, got into his sleeping bag and passed out from exhaustion. It had been
a long day, and they were still no closer to finding the lost recon team. Before sleep overtook him, he heard the wind picking up.

We hide in plain sight, Mia and I. We run the gamut of jobs and work to be done here. And I feel a closeness to her I had missed for so long. Had I really been so blind, not to realize that I need her more now than ever?

I love Kel. I cannot deny that. But what I feel, what I have with Karamia is so vastly different. How could I have been so uncaring, so unfeeling?

As I lie here beside her, watching her sleep, I remember the last time we had been out together in Zul'drak? was it? And I watched her sleep then. I'm not so foolish as to think all is alright. It isn't. I need to build her trust in me again. And part of that is staying out here, with her, alone. And that's okay by me, for now.

In the back of my mind, I hope things are going okay for Kel'Tira and the Fellowship. And yet, my heart sings, because I am here beside my lady love, my Karamia.

The woman with the brown hair slipped down the stairs of the house and into the kitchen, where she tucked a note under a mug before heading out the door. She was needed in Arathi and wanted to leave a note for Solorin—who was out at the moment—so he would not be concerned when he returned to find her gone.

Not long after she exited the house, a shadow slipped in. One elegantly manicured hand reached out and plucked the note from under the mug. The woman read over it, then tucked it into the bodice of her gown. She then turned and slipped back out.

Two days later, the woman with the brown hair returned. The note from under the mug was gone and she assumed that he had picked it up.

“Sol?” she called. Emptiness answered her and after a quick search of the house and grounds, she realized that he was gone. A bit of disappointment crept in as she sank down in one of the chairs at the table and wondered where he went.

She chastised herself because she knew that he had responsibilities as much as she did and he would be home when he came home. Getting up, she went to the cabinets to rummage for something to eat. Her eye was drawn to the bin where they placed their trash. There, a bottle lay, the label something that she knew only came from Shattrath. Picking it up, she realized that there was still a bit of liquid left in it.

Dropping the bottle back in the bin, she grabbed her travel bag and headed out the door.

***
I know that I am often out. The path that I walk takes me away from home quite a bit and unfortunately, when I am gone seems to be when people need me the most. I found Sol in Shattrath, sitting a table staring out into nothing. He was troubled by what had happened in the Fellowship and I cannot blame him. When Kel and I spoke over a week ago I carried her burden with me and it was a relief to speak to someone else about it.

She told me something about Nicias that struck me: She said, 'he is my lover, the person I trust most in the world, he is my best friend.' When I asked her if she could say the same about Cyaer, she could not. That alone tells me that what she feels for Nicias is far deeper than what she feels for Cyaer.

As I leaned against the table in Shattrath talking with Sol, I was aware of a distance between us last night. There is a barrier that I have put around me to protect myself—I do not feel that I need it with him, yet it is so commonplace that I have struggled to let it down with anyone. I have walked alone since I opened my eyes in that hospital bed and it has been hard to open myself up. We have move very slowly in our relationship, partly because he is still working through etching out a new life and partly because I do not know what to expect with him.

But last night, there was something more tangible between us. Part of it was me but part of it was him. At first I puzzled as to why, but then I realized that with everything that has happened of late, he was probably thinking about his wife leaving him while he was in Northrend. I am certain that when he spoke to Kel, he saw shadows of himself in Nicias. I reminded him that I wasn’t going anywhere, but then, did his wife tell him that, too?

I laid awake last night for quite some time pondering that very question and realized that it something that I cannot do anything about save letting him through, giving him a reason to trust me as I trust him. He has managed to work his way into my heart and I have yet to tell him how I feel.

The woman with the brown hair paused in writing, her mind going back to a freezing cold night in the Storm Peaks. The sky was dark and the moon glistened in its depths sparking against the snow packed on the ground. He stood there his dark blond hair gleaming in the moonlight reflected off the snow and cradled a barefoot woman in his arms. Dressed in a nightgown with only a heavy cloak thrown over her shoulders, she could not stay out long.

‘Look up,’ he said softly.

She pulled her gaze from his and turned her face up to the heavens. The sky was alive with a myriad of stars and lacing its way through the trillions of twinkling dots was a miasma of color, glowing and pulsing in the sky. The beauty of it caught her breath and she simply stared at it for a long time, content to feel weightless in his arms.

Pulling herself out the memory, she added one last line to the journal.

I need to remedy that.

I told her who it was I was with (who's arms I was in). I cannot and will not lie to her. If I am to build Mia's trust and confidence in me again...I must not lie to her. She asked if it was someone that knew me. I merely said, "Like a brother and a friend." She's smart, she made the connection, and her reaction was a bit of a surprise. She had suspicions that we were spending so much time together, and Kel too much time away from her husband. I had merely confirmed them.

I'm sorry for what I put Kel'Tira through. It wasn't fair to her. I should have kept my mouth shut about the dream I had. I should have just stayed away from her, to clear my mind. I should have, could have, would have...and yet, gods have mercy on me, I want her. Her hot kisses play over and over in my mind, her hands moving over my chest, feeling her body...I need to stop....I need to stop....I need...I want...

A thought goes through my mind, that some time, while I am holding Mia in my arms, and our kisses grow passionate, and we are in a hot embrace...that I will remember Kel...and in the heat of the moment, I will say Kel's name.

What kind of fool am I? What kind of fool thinks like this? We fooled ourselves to believe one night would ever quench that desire or hunger we felt in just the few moments we kissed. If anything, the kisses merely ignited the flames higher and hotter than before.

I have never felt the way I did in Kel'Tira's embrace. Never felt the need or hunger for someone like I did just kissing her lips. and holding her body in my arms. Or seen it so evident reflecting in her eyes. Oh, to touch her skin again. To feel her lips upon my own once more...I would not be able to stop...I would let our hunger and desires take us to that special place lovers reach for, but fail to make. We would burn and keep on burning. We would burn to a white hot heat that would consume us, and leave us...exhausted.

I am doomed. I can feel it. I am doomed. And I deserve nothing, and get a banquet. How does one fall into a pile of manure, and come out smelling like a rose? The other boot will fall...it has to fall. Kel'Tira...Karamia...Kel'Tira...Karamia...Kel...Mia...somewhere there is some petty diety laughing over what I have done with this life I was given. Just laughing his fool head off.

Nicias awoke to a shout. It was Casania. She looked frantic as she shook Nicias awake. He blinked still sleepy and trying to remember where he was. He slowly sat up. She looked scared and quickly began to speak. She said that the other soldier on duty was missing and that two went to look for him and also did not return. That left only 7 at the small camp. Nicias rose up and quickly grabbed his helmet as well as his sword and shield. The two exited the small tent and were greeted by strong chilling wind. snow blew in the wind around them making it hard to see far away. Nicias looked around and saw that everyone seemed on edge.

"Casania, go inside and rest, you look like you need it." Nicias said to her as he put his helmet on. She smiled at him and went inside the tent.

Four of the seven members were outside now, weapons ready. Grillick made his way over to Nicias and saluted him.
"Sir, I do not like this. The wind is picking up and it is growing harder to see by the second."
Nicias nodded in reply and looked about the camp.

Nicias saw one of his fellow elves walk off to go relieve himself. He was out of sight in a matter of seconds. Nicias bit his lip. He did not like this, something felt wrong. a minute went by, followed by another minute, yet the elf did not walk back into camp. Nicias looked to Grillick. He was also looking in the same direction as where the elf went. Another minute, and still nothing.

Nicias headed back to the tent. It was time to move away from here, something was wrong and he did not want to find out what. Nicias opened the tent flap and his jaw dropped. The tent was empty. The three that had been asleep inside, including Casania were gone!

Nicias quickly ran back to Grillick.
"We need to go, NOW!"
Grillick nodded back and quickly barked orders for the remaining soldier to pack up. It was just Nic, Grillick, and "spike" the goblin. They all grabbed their packs and did not even bother packing up the tent.
"We will head back to the forward camp, we can get a search party from there." The two nodded back and follow Nicias.

They had walked for about an hour. The Sun was still not up and the sky was dark. Suddenly the wind picked up and made visibility almost zero. The wind grew loud and Nicias tried to shout over it to his companions but could not. He turned and tried to see them but all he could see was the white of the snow. He cursed to himself.

The wind died down a moment later. Nicias just stood there and looked where his companions had been a few moments ago. There was nothing now, not even their footprints. Nicias stood there, alone. He clenched his fist and put it to his chest. He finally felt something in his void of a heart, but it was not an emotion he had wanted to ever feel.

It was fear.

Kel'tira Sunblaze

Some people say that the first kiss is the hardest to forget. I disagree. The first kiss, no matter what a man brings to it, implies there will be more. The last kiss is the one that you can never forget. The last kiss is the one that holds everything that ever was between two people, and everything that could be.

I wanted him so badly, and I have no excuse or reason as to why I wanted him. There was something between us that felt unhealthy, something darker. It was not what I have – Had – with Nic. What Nic and I shared is – was – something more than just blind need. Did I open myself up to Cyaer? Yes. Would I take it back, what I told him about me? No, because I trust him, despite what happened.

He is my cousin, and my brother, but not my lover.

That is, and always will be, in my mind, Nic.

I wish I could take back everything I did, everything I said to Cyaer. I wish I had had the strength to say no to him a second time, to tell him that my choice had not changed.

But I faltered, and fell.

I faltered and it hurt the one I love most, I am afraid it hurt him beyond repair. I want Nic to come home to me, safe, sound. I would rather he raged at me, screamed, yelled, cursed, hit me. I would rather suffer his physical abuse than to have to watch him walk away from me like he did.

I could not bring myself to follow him, knowing that he needs time to think things through. I just... I just hope he comes back in the end. I hope he remembers who we are together. I do not even ask him to forgive me, because I know that is unlikely at best, but I ask for a second chance.

Not even that, Light, I know I did the wrong thing. I know I should have been strong enough to tell him no a second time. However much I might have wanted it, nothing is worth losing Nic. Nothing.

I left Silvermoon. I have no intentions to return any time soon. I need to be away, to be alone.

I ended up in Shattrath, drowning my sorrows for the first time in a long while.

My heart hurts so much, and not even the drunken haze I eventually fell into could dull that. And then Aseria made an appearance. It is cruel irony that she knows everything about me. Cruel that she knows just what to play on. Cruel to make me understand, and then force her ideas on me.

I will not let her near Nic.

And then Sol... The only point in time I have not hurt, was when he did some magic on me to stop Aseria. To feel nothing was bliss. Again and again, I owe him for what he has done for me. And now again, I owe him for the gold he gave me to live on for a stay in Hearthglen. I do not think he understands, but at least he has not run from me.

Aranthil has promised to find a way for me to speak with Nic in Northrend, for which I am eternally grateful.

I will never forget the last kiss I shared with Cyaer, nor will I ever stop hurting over what I did.

When was the last time I kissed Nic? Will that be the last time I kiss him? The last time I hold him close to me?

The Light may have forsaken me, but now, as time and time before, I pray.

Let me find the Light again.

There is an empty spot in my soul where the holy fire burned before. I feel empty. Empty without any emotion save pain and self-contempt.

I have no one to blame but myself. I felt it coming, and I initiated the drop.

She told me to decide where my loyalties lay. And not to expect her to be waiting.

I hurt her, I hurt Karamia...and I deserved every word she spoke. And now, I need to live without her. "Spend some time a part."

I am numb. It's hard to think. It's hard to write. And mostly, I got what I wanted. I needed some time alone. Away from everything, and everybody. Make a wish, Cyaer, it's granted.

If only...

Journal of Karamia Dawnstrike

(tears stain this page)

My heart is breaking...I can hardly breathe. I had to do it...I had to let him go. I can no longer trust him. I should have known, he is like every other Sindorei male I have ever known. Unable to commit to anyone...just thinking they are the Light's gift to Sindorei or any other female. I feel sorry for anyone who falls for one.

My next few hours were filled with the numbing work of helping to cleanse Hyjal. I throw myself into it with zeal and recklessness. My emotions range from anger to self pity and sorrow so deep I can almost let go and jump into the Firelord's Pit. If I die here at least I will no longer feel the pain. The druids heal me again and again, chiding me for taking chances and not doing my duty to Hyjal and the Horde.

I fall exhausted into a bed in the Sanctuary. The kindly tauren who is tending me tells me to rest. I tell him I cannot sleep, my heart is shattered. He sits by my bed and listens to me for hours. His words of wisdom ringing in my ears as I listen to him.

"Love is like a butterfly, the more you chase it and try to capture it, the further away it flies. You must sit still, and allow it to settle on your fingers and enjoy the beauty of it. If you try to keep it with a cage it will die in misery. For freedom to love is a gift you give yourself. Forcing it never works, it will crush your dreams faster than a hammer on a flower. Let it come to you when you are willing to let it be. Enjoy it when it is there, but allow it to leave and it may come back or it may just keep flying. You have to accept that. It is part of Life." his voice a low drone as he patted her gently and left her to think.

The Dark Knight walked away as he cleaned the blood off of his blade, hundreds of Orges, raptors and other vicious beasts lie behind him, The mission? Kill all of the Orges Harboring Pain on the lesser Village In Blades Edge, He was a Mercernary Nothing more nothing less, A killer for hire, A Soldier, He was afraid to Share with Auxi what he did, maybe she would fear him...maybe she would leave him, but it is what he does...Nothing can change that.

The mission went well, It took little under an hour, Sixhundred Ogres, Raptors and other insidious beasts Dead, Kel Asked for Aux the Hour before, I spent some time with her, Kel Asked for her and She left, I watched her as she walked away, Hoping to spend more time with her that night, So I left on my mission, And as It was done, Still no sign of Aux.

So I left to the Undercity to speak with an old friend, I forgot how clearly I speak forsaken, Then some strange man came up to me and asked me for a drink, I took him to the best, the ONLY bar In Undercity and bought some bourbon, We shared some information with eachother, but not alot before I heard her sweet voice from behind me in the shadows, "Make your excuses and get away from him." I had Xalandir contact me via The guild stone using our emergency ring, So I fled to Brill to meet her there, From there we left to a secluded tower away from Civilization so we could have a few words to each other, She shared with me who the burnt man was, Mal'ltir Nicias brother, come to kill off the fellowship, Should he come into me again he will be in for a suprise, I will not kill him for Kel deserves that luxury, After a while we came to the conversation about Viragona going after hatred, We agreed that It was more important than the Cripple.

And then Finally, We came to the disscussion of us...She asked me plain in simple, If she was in danger could I keep focus on the mission, the target, I told her...That She means more to me than anything, There are more than one runes left for the witch to find, If she was in danger I would rush to her aid, Is that the best decision? Is it wise? I believe it to be so...others would think me Unwise and a fool, but I care about her too much...And then..She told me, She told me...

"I think Im falling in love with you."

My eyes widened, as I looked to her and replied with my secret....my One and Only secret..in the end I told her, that I love her, and that I will protect her no matter the costs.

The Dark Knight thinks for a moment before he continues to write, He is happy, Finnally she understood, He didn't have to be afraid He loved her, and she loved him, His life was starting to look itself, the way he wanted it.

I Am happy, And I hope to make more of this relationship, She is a wonderful woman, And I will keep her close.

I despise myself. I wasn't true to my own self. And if I was, what have I become? And worst of all where am I headed now without Mia?

I told you nothing would come of being with her. I told you so long ago to forget it, but you wouldn't have it, and look where you are now...you poor pathetic fool. Listen to yourself now.

I won't tell who to listen to Cyaer. You listened to this one's logic before...and found yourself a blob under a Fel Reaver's foot. You fell sway to his urges and and whispers, and may have ruined two of the best relationships of your life. But keep on listening to him, who knows where you will find yourself in say a year?

What can I do? She's gone. She doesn't want to have anything to do with me now. If ever?

Good riddance! Hey, maybe you can hit on that hot mageling next, eh?

Do? Rush to her now, Cyaer. Don't think about it any longer...go to her, and plead with her, beg her if you must, but look to see if you can repair the damage he has created.

Karamia Dawnstrike is the best that has ever happened to you, and you know it, you know it deep inside your heart and even past this thing called an ego. If you don't, if you don't seek reconciliation with that sweet woman, you will regret it for the rest of your life, and you know it...look inside yourself...look at the truth, Cyaer.

The first tender kiss you shared. Waiting for the proper time, not listening to your base urges, and how beautiful it was, a true moment of love. Do you remember the tears in your own eyes when she heard you ask for her hand...someday - and she said yes? Did you forget the love you saw reflected in her eyes? Can you ever forget the way your name sounded on her lips? Or whenever she said she loved you, and meant it? (when did she ever not mean it, Cyaer?)

I awoke with a start! I need to see her. I need to talk to her. NOW! I could not get ready fast enough.

She won't listen, you poor sap. You hurt her deep, she wo]...enough of that talk now, go to sleep for a long, long time. It depends on her, not you.

Nicias stood there and looked at where his two companions had been moments ago. His heart rate increased and his muscles tensed. His sword and shield were at the ready and he was crouched down into a defensive stance. He concentrated on his surrounding but all he could hear was the wind howling. He stood there, frozen in place, not wanting to move. He was on his guard. He caught movement at his right side and quickly turned. But the beast was upon him.

Nicias raised his shield as the creature smashed into him. The force knocked him down and he fell on his back. He still held the shield steady as the monster tried to snap at him with its massive maw. Suddenly it vanished. Nicias quickly got up and readied himself. More movement behind him! Nicias quickly turned and the creature suddenly appeared as if out of thin air. He saw it all then. scales like a dragon and a large mouth as wide as his shield, it looked like it could swallow an orc whole! It charged him again with lightning speed. Nicias was able to move his blade in time as the maw came at him, wide open.

He stabbed it throught the roof of the mouth and it appeared out of the top of the animals mouth. It screeched in pan and writhed. It kept trying to bite at Nicias who raised his shield to block the monsters deadly bite. He pulled out the sword and with another stab pierced its skull.

Nicias panted and regained his breath. "How did my team of men lose to just one..." Nicias felt a sharp pain in his side. He looked down and clamped down onto his armor was another one of those creatures. It was smaller, but still just as dangerous. The teeth penetrated his plate armor and he could feel it trying to tighten its grip. He groaned in agony as the pain filled him. He quickly grabbed his sword and stabbed the monster in the eye repeatedly. Only when his sword went hilt deep into it did the beast let go and fall limply to the ground.

Nicias fell down on his back and blood seeped from his wounds. They were bad and he did not know if he would recover from this one. He looked down at the injury and moaned. "Dying in a frozen waste land, well ain't that great." He said jokingly. He pulled out a small neclace from his pocket and held it in his gauntlet. It was Kel's necklace. She had given it to him as a good luck charm when he first left.

"I guess it only works if you love me." He said to himself as he stared at the necklace. He sighed and lay back down in the snow. He closed his eyes and pictured her, his wife, in the arms of cyaer, it made him sick, but most of all, it made him cry. A tear streamed down his face inside his helmet. Why did she do it was all he could think about. He turned his head at the sound of crunching snow and was afraid to look. If it was another monster he would not be able to fight. He turned his head slowly and was shocked to see the messenger.

"Help!" He moaned. The messenger saw him and walked over....slowly.
Nicias smiled, guess he was not going to die after all. The messenger walked over to him and knelt next to him.

"Oh good! You have no idea how glad I am to see......YOU!" Nicias exclaimed. The messenger had removed his mask to reveal his face; his brother's face! Nicias just stared jaw agape.

"Ah brother you don't look to well, let me help with that." Mal'tar said. He pulled out a slender mercy knife and and danced it on Nicias' plate armor. Nicias stared at the thin dagger as he moved it towards his armpit. Mal'tar lifted Nicias arm and rested the blade against joint in his armor where his armpit was.
"Do not worry brother it will be painless." Mal'tar said with a smile. Nicias just looked on in shock. Mal'tar stabbed the dagger into Nicias.

The red-haired elf's chaotic flight was just that, a flight. From the Farstrider Retreat, she ran, her dress torn and muddied by the time she reached Silvermoon and staggered into her home. In moments, she was standing in front of her bedroom door, leaning on the doorframe heavily and sobbing.

Stumbling, she walked forward, blindly throwing clothes into a bag. After a moment of thought, she upended the bag on the bed, and looks physically struck as she stared down at the bed, memories overwhelming her.

She lay on the bed smiling, staring at the ring on her finger, her green eyes glowing with happiness in the dimness of the room at night. Sleepless amazement keeping her awake as she stared into the darkness on the eve of her wedding. Her husband's steady breathing as she slipped between the sheets to fall asleep in his arms.

With a physical step back, Kel choked back a sob, her eyes shut tightly. All that went into the bag now was a simple pair of pants and a shirt. After a moment's thought, she folded up her tabard and stuffed it into the pack. Another moment of silent, tear-ridden contemplation ended with the presence of a small, brown bag in the top of the pack. A coin purse, jingling with a number of coins, joined her things.

Stepping out of the room, Kel'tira Sunblaze walked through the halls of her House, her face downcast, a cold fear burning in her eyes.

She pushed open the heavy door of her study, feeling at home in the dark-wood room, the bookshelves lining the walls lending the study a cozy feeling. The smells of her life surrounded her. The oiled metal and leather, the wood, the books, the ink. Again, Kel stumbled and fell forward across the desk, her eyes distant as she scooped her guildstone, her hearthstone, and the bracelet that had been a gift from Nic into her bag.

Stumbling to the bookshelves, she ran her hands along the bindings, settling on a black leather cover, and pulling the thick book from the shelf, dropping it in her bag. She removed the next book, an equally thick, but new, red tome. Dropping a pair of securely capped inkwells in the pockets of the pack, she stuck a quill in the sides and moved to stand in front of the suit of armor in the corner.

Fifteen minutes later, the paladin was clad in her plate-metal gear, her shield and mace on her back and belt respectively. A long moment passed before she reached around to the back of the ornate wooden armor-stand, slipping her hand into a hollow in the back. Withdrawing her hand, her fist clenched around something small, she upended her fist over her bag. Silver chain slithered out of her hand to coil in the top of the bag, a gem, silver-edged ruby.

Staring at the reminder of her family, and the past that she wished she could bring back, Kel closed the pack with a snap, slipping the bag on her shoulder and drawing her plated gloves on. Cradling her helmet under her arm, the paladin fled in measured steps, leaving a note on her desk.

Dealing with Fellowship business. I will be gone for a number of days. Contact me over my hearthstone if need be.

Walking briskly, and then breaking into a run, Kel made her way across the Royal Exchange, her armor clanking as she ran, tears rolling down her face as she clutched her helmet and her pack.

On the message board in the Hall, she left another note, her signature on the bottom shaky.

Dealing with House business. I will be gone for a number of days. Contact me over my guildstone if need be.

Without hesitation, she turned on her plated heel and stared at her hands for a moment, cursing herself and the Light.

Walking out the door, she broke into a run again, her plated feet pounding on the ground. No one in the city gave her a second glance, she was no one, a warrior with a mission, or a blood knight, late for some meeting. When she reached the translocation orb, she halted. Her hand shaking as she rested a palm on the orb, bracing herself for the teleportation.

When the world faded back into being around her, Kel'tira Sunblaze promptly bent over and retched. With nothing in her stomach to come up, she merely stood, hunched over, convulsing slightly as her stomach rebelled against her. A curse fell from her lips and she forced herself to stand upright, dragging a hand over her scared face.

In an instant, she reached a decision, no one would come looking for her in Winterspring.

Hours later, she stood in the snow outside the house her friend had again offered to let her stay in. The Night Elven architecture somehow comforting to her. She was tempted to sit in the snow and let it dull her to her pain, but that would mean she lost. That she let someone else down.

((1/2))

“Kel'tira, Lover of Family Members.”
“Your Uncle? Cyaer? Do you have something with family?”
“No, sister, I do not like using anything visited by so many men.”
“Is Cyaer not family?”
“I thought you liked it that way.”
“Ah, so Cyaer and Nic get special privileges, but not me?”
“He said he hated you and hopes you go back to Cyaer.”
“You can always join him.”
“No one wants you anyways. And the man who did you killed.”
“Did you not cheat on him?”
“You are not my type, so why don't you go stand off to the side like a good little w|hore.”

Words echoed in her head, in the snide, mocking voice of her brother-in-law, and Kel bit her lip under her helmet to stifle a scream. Instead, she edged inside the house and dropped her armor in a heap on the floor, her pack joining the metal as she threw herself into the bed and cried.

Why did I do it!? Why!? It was wrong, it was stupid. It was painful. I hurt Nic. Why did I do it? Why? Because I needed someone? Anyone? And Cyaer understands me. I know why I did it. And that hurts. That hurts a lot. I did it because I needed comfort. I needed to feel something other than self-contempt. I did the wrong thing by not telling Cyaer no a second time. I failed.

I failed.

And here I am, still failing.

((2/2))