*The following letter is posted in all the public places, and, mysteriously, a copy arrives addressed to each individual involved in the previous AAMSgate correspondance.*
To our Distinguished Colleagues of the AAMS, as well as any future customers of Payload, Inc.,
Seems we got a situation brewing here, one that would’a been completely avoided by sticking to a few standard business practices. Read up, AAMSies, 'cause next time, the advice ain't coming free.
---
1. Confidentiality
Now, this is something we pride ourselves on, here at Payload, Inc. Means we keep our clients' business secret. Youse wants a job done, it'll be between *you* an' *us.* Want a letter delivered? We'll get it there straightaway, and we *won't* go posting it around for everyone to see. That's just poor business practice, no matter which way yah look at it.
The only “Full Disclosure” we practice at Payload, Inc. is me fully disclosing the fact that no one’s gonna see your letters, unless you tell us you want them to.
2. "Neutrality"
The only way yah can claim true neutrality's by, well, y'knows, being *neutral.* Don' mean youse guys can hide behind a tabard and then go on and do whatever ya wants. 's the problem with neutrality, see? Keeps yah tip-toeing around tryin'a keep everyone happy, don' it?
Here at Payload, Inc., we don' promise anything as intangible as "neutrality." We keeps things simple. Yah make me a better offer then the other guy, I'm doing yer job firs'.
Will we work with both the Horde and the Alliance? Depends on how much the humans or elves or whatever’s paying us.
3. Employee Accountability
All Payload, Inc. employees know what’ll happen if they was to break any of our policies. That’s why they don’t do it.
See, we’ve developed a truly proactive discipline policy to root out any potential employee problems. We, the management, don’t do anything if we find out someone’s breaking the rules. We gots people who do that for us, see? And when our people address an issue, there won’ be another one.
---
Now, the important part. Payload, Inc. realizes that our colleagues in the AAMS might just have bitten off a little more than they can chew. We understand that, in a tryin’ time, sometimes the most important thing a organization can do is to step back, take things easy, and make a commitment—ta themselves, as well as the Public. A commitment of self-evaluation, reorganization, and reimplementation.
In order to fully assist the AAMS in this time of need, Payload, Inc. would like to make the following offer to anyone in need of our services. Provide us with a quoted price from the AAMS, an’ we’ll do the job, 20% off.
We look forward to hearin’ from any interested customers.
Forever at yer service,
Kaja’Cola Exports
Payload, Inc.
To our Distinguished Colleagues of the AAMS, as well as any future customers of Payload, Inc.,
Seems we got a situation brewing here, one that would’a been completely avoided by sticking to a few standard business practices. Read up, AAMSies, 'cause next time, the advice ain't coming free.
---
1. Confidentiality
Now, this is something we pride ourselves on, here at Payload, Inc. Means we keep our clients' business secret. Youse wants a job done, it'll be between *you* an' *us.* Want a letter delivered? We'll get it there straightaway, and we *won't* go posting it around for everyone to see. That's just poor business practice, no matter which way yah look at it.
The only “Full Disclosure” we practice at Payload, Inc. is me fully disclosing the fact that no one’s gonna see your letters, unless you tell us you want them to.
2. "Neutrality"
The only way yah can claim true neutrality's by, well, y'knows, being *neutral.* Don' mean youse guys can hide behind a tabard and then go on and do whatever ya wants. 's the problem with neutrality, see? Keeps yah tip-toeing around tryin'a keep everyone happy, don' it?
Here at Payload, Inc., we don' promise anything as intangible as "neutrality." We keeps things simple. Yah make me a better offer then the other guy, I'm doing yer job firs'.
Will we work with both the Horde and the Alliance? Depends on how much the humans or elves or whatever’s paying us.
3. Employee Accountability
All Payload, Inc. employees know what’ll happen if they was to break any of our policies. That’s why they don’t do it.
See, we’ve developed a truly proactive discipline policy to root out any potential employee problems. We, the management, don’t do anything if we find out someone’s breaking the rules. We gots people who do that for us, see? And when our people address an issue, there won’ be another one.
---
Now, the important part. Payload, Inc. realizes that our colleagues in the AAMS might just have bitten off a little more than they can chew. We understand that, in a tryin’ time, sometimes the most important thing a organization can do is to step back, take things easy, and make a commitment—ta themselves, as well as the Public. A commitment of self-evaluation, reorganization, and reimplementation.
In order to fully assist the AAMS in this time of need, Payload, Inc. would like to make the following offer to anyone in need of our services. Provide us with a quoted price from the AAMS, an’ we’ll do the job, 20% off.
We look forward to hearin’ from any interested customers.
Forever at yer service,
Kaja’Cola Exports
Payload, Inc.
