((From my article, located at the SoE WordPress Community Site: http://soe4rp.wordpress.com/2011/04/29/what-works-rp-lessons-and-maxims/))
Just like in other areas of life and in the world, working with others within a role-playing community takes effort. There are key ingredients that go into making things function well, and sometimes we learn these best through trial and error. While most of us don’t know everything about everything (I could fill volumes with what is unknown to me, for example), often, you do pick up nuggets of wisdom through experience. Here are a few things I’ve learned (sometimes the hard way) about how to make a role-playing atmosphere conducive to fun and open interaction.
You Are Not Always a Rock Star
Even though you can create characters that might leverage a bit of power in the grand scheme of things, run a role-playing guild, or be someone with great sway in life, you should understand that working with others in a role-playing situation doesn’t always mean you are in charge or that your character should be the center of attention. While there is nothing wrong with starting storylines, arcs, or even offering role-playing to others, do it with openness and not command. As an analogy, it is one thing to offer someone dinner, and yet another to force feed them. Share the spotlight, offer your storylines as a catalyst and release control. Not only does this create bonds of trust between you and others, but it fosters an open, healthy role-playing atmosphere.
You Are Not Always a Victim
Sometimes, things do not go the way we plan. If you do something such as offer role-play to others or create an event, do not be upset if people decline to participate; after all, you made an offer (going on the assumption that you’re not Rock Starring and that you did not demand interaction). Consider that other people’s schedules, their character’s storylines, and other extenuating circumstances might prevent them from participating. Rather than flame them or claim you are being treated poorly, actually ask them for a bit of time and chat with them about their reasons and what happened. Sometimes, assumptions can be the opposite of truths, and discussing things openly can save a good deal of strife.
Play Nice
When you interact with other characters, always give them options with your actions. Not only is this a must for role-played fights, but it also applies to other things as well. For example, if you work closely with another author and they have a long-running arc and are close to the finish, it might throw things way out of line if you come in and make a significant change. While some authors welcome such a challenge, others may not. Use discretion when taking actions that impact someone else’s character on a grand scale, be it leaving them no options for blocking a strike, moving their character, or working to an end in a storyline.
Geek Like Me
Consider others to be your equals. Even if your writing skills may be a bit more polished, your never misspell or err in punctuation, your character is clothed in the latest tier of epics, or you have a vocabulary that would stand to impress a legion of word-smiths, never forget that other people who sit at their keyboards and stare at their screens are doing exactly what you are doing at the very same moment. They are people behind the polygons and words on a screen, and they are not your tools for writing out only what you consider fit and proper. Never seek to use others simply as a means to your own story’s end. There are folks behind those characters, and they have feelings, too. Respect that they have a right to be here just as much as you, and be realistic in your expectations of them.
Just like in other areas of life and in the world, working with others within a role-playing community takes effort. There are key ingredients that go into making things function well, and sometimes we learn these best through trial and error. While most of us don’t know everything about everything (I could fill volumes with what is unknown to me, for example), often, you do pick up nuggets of wisdom through experience. Here are a few things I’ve learned (sometimes the hard way) about how to make a role-playing atmosphere conducive to fun and open interaction.
You Are Not Always a Rock Star
Even though you can create characters that might leverage a bit of power in the grand scheme of things, run a role-playing guild, or be someone with great sway in life, you should understand that working with others in a role-playing situation doesn’t always mean you are in charge or that your character should be the center of attention. While there is nothing wrong with starting storylines, arcs, or even offering role-playing to others, do it with openness and not command. As an analogy, it is one thing to offer someone dinner, and yet another to force feed them. Share the spotlight, offer your storylines as a catalyst and release control. Not only does this create bonds of trust between you and others, but it fosters an open, healthy role-playing atmosphere.
You Are Not Always a Victim
Sometimes, things do not go the way we plan. If you do something such as offer role-play to others or create an event, do not be upset if people decline to participate; after all, you made an offer (going on the assumption that you’re not Rock Starring and that you did not demand interaction). Consider that other people’s schedules, their character’s storylines, and other extenuating circumstances might prevent them from participating. Rather than flame them or claim you are being treated poorly, actually ask them for a bit of time and chat with them about their reasons and what happened. Sometimes, assumptions can be the opposite of truths, and discussing things openly can save a good deal of strife.
Play Nice
When you interact with other characters, always give them options with your actions. Not only is this a must for role-played fights, but it also applies to other things as well. For example, if you work closely with another author and they have a long-running arc and are close to the finish, it might throw things way out of line if you come in and make a significant change. While some authors welcome such a challenge, others may not. Use discretion when taking actions that impact someone else’s character on a grand scale, be it leaving them no options for blocking a strike, moving their character, or working to an end in a storyline.
Geek Like Me
Consider others to be your equals. Even if your writing skills may be a bit more polished, your never misspell or err in punctuation, your character is clothed in the latest tier of epics, or you have a vocabulary that would stand to impress a legion of word-smiths, never forget that other people who sit at their keyboards and stare at their screens are doing exactly what you are doing at the very same moment. They are people behind the polygons and words on a screen, and they are not your tools for writing out only what you consider fit and proper. Never seek to use others simply as a means to your own story’s end. There are folks behind those characters, and they have feelings, too. Respect that they have a right to be here just as much as you, and be realistic in your expectations of them.
Edited by Bellamuerte on 4/29/2011 8:42 AM PDT