World of Warcraft®

((A letter addressed to the coordinators of the Salon))

To those concerned

Please accept my most sincere apology for my employer’s actions the evening of the Salon. In preparing his nights cocktail before his departure, I mistakenly mixed his beverage with my own. My drink contained herbs that calm and help me relax. Unfortunately if a person does not suffer from my condition, the result can be quite severe to include brash behavior and aggressiveness that is both out of character and unwarranted.

I will ensure that this never happens again. If you feel a personal apology is required, I will do so at your request. This is by no means my employers fault, who is distraught and horrified over his actions.

Yuuko Raradien

Charmian tapped the pom-pom'd tip of her pen against her chin, re-reading the mysterious letter. "Eh?" she mused again, the picture of eloquence. "What-the-what?" With a shrug, she began a response on official Library stationary.

Dear sir or madam,

Thank your for your recent inquiry regarding the Library's Sunday Salons. At this time, we are unable to offer personalized medical advice to our patrons, but wish you and your employer a speedy recovery.

We remain grateful for your continued patronage.

Sincerely,
Charmian Haleshorn
Assistant Archivist
The Royal Library

Charmian shook the freshly-penned letter like a polaroid picture before folding it neatly and sealing it into an envelope. "There, that should do it. I think." With another shrug, she moved onto the next letter from a formidable stack on her desk.

((Damned blood elves with their drugs GET OFF MY LAWN!))

[ Hey, you, get off my cloud, you don't know me and you don't know my style. Who be gettin flam when they come to a jam? Here I am here I am, the Method Man. -drops mic- ]

Can't we just all get along...

By purchasing one of my many wonderful pieces of merchandise! In fact I just got in this robotic fish! Please note that the fish is not waterproof and I am in no way liable if it should explode during the course of handling.

*Eyes the merchandise* "This is all substandard! No thanks!"

02/27/2014 09:32 PMPosted by Moraganna

*Eyes the merchandise* "This is all substandard! No thanks!"

*gasp!*

I assure you it is not! Everything I sell has the Bilgewater Seal of Quality stamped right on it! Satisfaction is guaranteed or else I'll offer to sell you something else!

Havisham steeples her fingers, amber eyes raking over the goblin--Morsel? Morse Code? Worm Melt? Goblin names were so stupid.

"Let us speak of souls, then, shall we? Your soul, precisely."

*blinks*

"Nyah? My soul? You're not one of those Born Again Go'el Witnesses are ya?"

*shakes her head*

"Wait a second... what's a lawn ornament doing here in the first place?"

*Frowns at the scene sighing, before pulling a pink flamingo lawn ornament from her saddle bag and sticking it firmly in the ground next to Havisham*

*She backs away making a frame with her fingers, enclosing the gnome and flamingo together and smiles*

“Much better”

*snickers*

"Yes, that is an improvement. Now all she needs is some astro turf and a stupid pointed hat. Then the image would be perfect!"