World of Warcraft®

Cormorant J. L'Ouissant sat down at her shoddy makeshift writing desk, longstrider quill in hand. "Now's as good a time as any to get my thoughts out there..." Carefully, she began her first stroke on the paper, an ornate capital "M"...

Twelve hours and fourteen minutes later, she finished her first and only draft, a piece entitled "Mailboxes". Setting her quill down, she rolled up the parchment, tied it with a faded purple ribbon, and walked briskly to the auction house, eager to carry out her plan anonymously. "One copper, buyout" she requested of the auctioneer. As briskly as she had arrived, she departed, making her way back home under the moonlight filtering in through the clouds of the night sky.

Sitting down in her oddly comfortable bed, she raised a smudged glass, filled halfway with red wine, and murmured a toast. "Here's to hoping..."

Her Supreme Sparkliness, the Anointed Crown Princess of the Tram Between Ironforge and Stormwind, and the Bestest Tailor Ever of All Time Like Ever, Khromie of the Overspark, knew a good bargain when she saw one. A slightly used piece of parchment for one copper?! SOLD!!!

Khromie cartwheeled her way to the nearest mailbox to retrieve her latest purchase and squeaked her delight when she realized that it came with a complimentary ribbon.

"Oooh! I'll save this to tie into Gilly's beard!"

Whistling, the junior medic unrolled her purchase with anticipation--only to find--why, this parchment was not slightly used at all! It was rather very muchly used!!!

"What sort of flippity floppily troll balls is this?!" Khromie squinted at the parchment which clearly had writing all over it!

Then, it dawned on her. This was probably, most definitely, a super secret love letter from a super duper secret admirer, written in top secret code. Fortunately, Khromie also happened to be the Greaterest Detective Ever of All Time Like Ever. She squinted some more at the mysterious letter and took a deep drag of her thinking pipe--which she had plucked right out of the mouth of a passing dwarf.

"Hmmm--AAAACHHGGGRRRAAGG--YUCK!!" She threw the pipe onto the groun and opted for pensive chin tapping instead.

"Mailboxes..." Khromie read out loud from the top secret letter. Her brain cogs began turning rapidly. She could feel the smoke coming out of her ears. She was just that geniustastic.

"Mailboxes are made of boxes..." Mused Khromie, "And boxes hold chocolate... Chocolate is a universal symbol of true love and all things good in the world... And the world is round... And my face is round! HOLY PANCAKES! THIS LOVE LETTER IS TO ME FROM SIR OARWIND, THE OARWINDIEST OF OARWINDS!!!"

Khromie ran to the nearest bakery and purchased the largest chocolate cake she could find. She packed this up along with a selfie of her making a duck face (because apparently that's like really attractive), and shipped it express to Sir Oarwind's secret lair, addressed to his pen-name, Corn More Jello Saint.

Cormorant J. L'Ouissant sat down at her shoddy makeshift writing desk, longstrider quill in hand. "Someone seemed to enjoy my last one of these... I think I'll have another go..." She dipped the tip of her quill in her ink well -an outdated method yes, but the one she still preferred- and drew an elegant capital "W" in the top left hand corner of the parchment...

Hoping to maintain consistency, she tied the paper with another strand of faded purple ribbon and whisked away at once to the same location as before: the famous Stormwind City Trade District Auction House. She listed it at the same price as her first letter, a meager one copper piece, and strolled away under the cover of the cloudless, late night sky.

Sitting down in her oddly comfortable bed, she raised a smudged glass, filled halfway with red wine, and murmured a toast. "I hope nobody saw me..."