World of Warcraft®

Oh, howdy y'all. Jest fryin' up some eggs and mushrooms, ain't nuthin better y'know.
Anyway, reason I called, see, I recently had come into mah possession a book, of sorts.
Darnedest thing, seems ta be unfinished, some sort of ultra-first edition or something. An' from what I kin tell, it're one of them "fancy stories", s'posed ta be all romantical an' such, I dunno, ain't my thing. Y'know wut I always says 'bout romance, "if it ain't gnomish it're not much".
And, well, as far as I kin tell, there ain't nuthin gnomish in this here tome, just a couple of fellows going on about "warm swords" and "leather" and "hugeness", very confusing. And one of them's a stablehand, fer what reason I can not tell.
But I'm digressin agin, dangit. The point bein', I know a few of you out there, you's got a thing fer collecting these here "stories of torrid affection", figured you might wanna have a chance at this one. Title says "Savage Passions", but honestly... sweat and leather and swords...seems pretty tame ta me, but whatever.
If yer interested, y'all jest lemme know what yer willin' ta pay, and I'm sure we kin work somethin out.
**sniffsniff**
Well I do declare, smells like mah eggs is done, you sure you won't wanna stay fer brunch?

Sweat, leather and swords are "tame", you say? What were you expecting? Leather, chains and whips?

I'm a tauren druid who really likes gnomes son, draw yer own conclusions.

Keep your hooves off me, you damn dirty cow.

01/07/2015 02:29 PMPosted by Plainswander

I'm a tauren druid who really likes gnomes son, draw yer own conclusions.

Pst... I can sell ya three slightly used gnome noses for real cheap!

01/08/2015 12:42 AMPosted by Rakeri

Keep your hooves off me, you damn dirty cow.

pardon there lil fella, I'm flattered ye'd think I'd be innerested in ya an' all, but, er..... Hooty don't swing that way, I meant Gnomesses.

01/08/2015 08:44 AMPosted by Mormel

01/07/2015 02:29 PMPosted by Plainswander

I'm a tauren druid who really likes gnomes son, draw yer own conclusions.

Pst... I can sell ya three slightly used gnome noses for real cheap!

Sell?
Please, that's jest barbaric...s'pose I shouldn't be suprised though. You goblins got NO class when it comes to the woo'ins.
Nah, I like me some real romance, maybe a few Fully Automatic, Multi Phasic Steel Roses with Reciprocating Bolt Action and extra sparks.
Y'know, real fancy stuff.

01/08/2015 10:51 AMPosted by Plainswander

Sell?
Please, that's jest barbaric...s'pose I shouldn't be suprised though. You goblins got NO class when it comes to the woo'ins.
Nah, I like me some real romance, maybe a few Fully Automatic, Multi Phasic Steel Roses with Reciprocating Bolt Action and extra sparks.
Y'know, real fancy stuff.

Ya want a mechano-gnome? Um... sure. I can hook ya up with that. So long as your gold is good I don't care what kink ya have.

.....
No, no darlin. I do not want a hot greasy "MekkaJob".
I want romance!
Y'know, romance? I means, like, at all?
Y'all ken what I'm talking about here?
The meetin of two minds and hearts?
The feeling when yer souls entertwine and the skies themselves sing yer names?

....

....fer petes sake ya little green niblet, I'm talking LOVE not COMMERCE!

Ohhh! I gotcha!

You'll definitely wanna check out my Forever Alone catalog. We got girls that, for an hourly rate, will pretend ta be interested in whatever ya happen ta say.

AAAARRRRRGH!
You...you...you....
you usurious no-account keep the heads and tails ill groomed little green HALFSHOT....

I kin clearly see I got some more 'splainin ta do. See, you keep makin this about a deal, and here I am tryin ta explain that it ain't about that at all. See, love, well, real love, the kind that don't come with a price tag, it're the greatst thing ever. Shoot, it're even better'n a really well run still. And that're sayin something.

But what yer doin? it're jest money. And dang girl...money? It ain't no thing. It're jest stuff. An' stuff? Stuff're pointless. Stuff comes, stuff goes. Point of fact, money is probably the least important thing ever. Leastwise when yer comparing it ta love.

Ya unnerstand? At all? Seriously darlin, what I gotta do ta convince you this ain't a fiduciary complication in the makin?

Nyah? Are ya sayin' ya want ta try the two-for-one deal?

/ponders

Nyah! Now I get it! Ya wanna adopt a kitty!

..............

I give up.

Damn goblins.

I feel your pain, my friend. Especially with THIS goblin.

It're a puzzle, that's fer dang sure. Any tips on how ta git a coherent thought into that money-crazed little green rock-knuckle?

01/08/2015 08:10 PMPosted by Ketiron

I feel your pain, my friend. Especially with THIS goblin.

Awww don't be like that Grumpy Elf! Just think of all the amazin' products I've given ya over the past few months for super duper ultra low prices.

...Bralox can have eggs?

*dances on the breakfast table, knocking plates and food on the floor*

I'll give you a free dance!

01/09/2015 04:10 PMPosted by Mormel

Awww don't be like that Grumpy Elf! Just think of all the amazin' products I've given ya over the past few months for super duper ultra low prices.

I make my own products, thank you very much...and the cost for materials is far less than what you demand.

01/09/2015 04:43 PMPosted by Ditzlewixx

*dances on the breakfast table, knocking plates and food on the floor*

I'll give you a free dance!

Oh Ditzy ya are so generous.

01/09/2015 05:11 PMPosted by Ketiron

I make my own products, thank you very much...and the cost for materials is far less than what you demand.

/giggles

But where else can ya find a dress made outta Polyplaster Combustinate?