World of Warcraft®

Howdy friends. Seems I done got myself in a bit of a pickle again. So now ya find me here, hat in hand, and wonderin' per'aps
Last night, in between doin mah chores, and stomping some mighty rude shadow council types what thought they could come and muss up my pretty pretty home, I think I may have, accidentally mind you, agreed to the shipment and receipt of 500 bundles of defeated sticks.

Now, some might allow as how I'd been at my "special beverage selection", or maybe had been hittin' the peacebloom, and I can assure you, that second is is absolutely not true. I was in as clear a frame of mind as can be expected, and was in no way under any unusual influence the likes of which I am not intimately familiar with.

Anyway, I'm gettin' distracted again. The upshot of all this being, I was busy killing folk wut were intent on killin' me and my friends, and somewhere in that, talking with a couple of troublesome types, something about totems and sticks done came up, and they said I hadn't paid a fee, and I said I hadn't signed up for no stick protection, and they said that were the problem, and I said if they could supply proof of deed, and ship 500 bundles of thoroughly defeated sticks to me, I'd give just recompense in the form of.....something.

And then one of them shouted "DONE" and ran off ta do...I don't know wut.

Which leaves me with the followin' questions.

1: What, exactly, qualifies as a "thoroughly defeated stick"?
2: 500 bundles of them? How many in a bundle?
3: What in tarnation am I to do with 500 bundles of defeated sticks should these maniacs SOMEHOW find a way to ship them to me...
and finally
4: What would just recompense be for what amounts to basically a bunch of useless whatvers dropped on my front door?

As you can see, I'm a bit flummoxed. I dearly would appreciate some advice. Ayup.

Gnome biscuits!

Those are top quality defeated sticks ya are recievin' an' here ya are complainin'!? Listen... there are no refunds an' ya account has already been charged so put those thoroughly defeated sticks ta good use just like ya should!

Also, I still strongly urge ya ta pay the additional fee ta get stick protection. Ya never know when ya will need it next.

Oh an' thanks for ya business :3

I'm afraid ya may have done shipped 'em to the wrong address ya little green swindler.
Cause I sure didn't see no "500 bundles" at my shipping and receiving station this morning.

Either way, ain't no fur off my hide, seein' as the followin' is pertinent to the situation at hand.

1: I ain't got no account with ya, and should one be created in my name without my permission, I'll be quite cross.
2: Shipment ain't been made properly. If anything, whichever poor sap ends up with that load of TDS oughtta charge YOU fer trouble and strife.
3: Just cause I didn't sign up fer no stick protections then don't mean I ought to be signing up to protect them sticks what're already defeated now, and which I don't even have anyway, and not even at a discount neither!

Flippin gob, yer logic's like yer dress, that is ta say: green, and only partially there. Jeez, next thing yer gonna be renaming the mail service "GobCast" and insisting I really DO want to send saucy moonkin pictures to every gnome in Stormwind.

*looks around for scratching post #47, wondering where the fel they keep going* *digs claws into new post, ravaging each layer of xylem with tenacious glee*

((Use the sticks to make a giant wooden dog statue and park it on Mormel's doorstep. Hide inside of it and when she sees it... pop out and scream "woof woof"!))

Dear Valued Customer,

We want ya ta know that we are listenin' an greatly value your opinion on our products. Since ya have been a long-time consumer we have sent ya another five hundred thoroughly defeated sticks an' only applied a 10% up charge for the additional shipment. We thank ya for ya patronage an' eargerly look forward ta our next transaction.

Sincerely,
Sticks n' Stuff HQ

02/20/2015 01:20 PMPosted by Foravin

((Use the sticks to make a giant wooden dog statue and park it on Mormel's doorstep. Hide inside of it and when she sees it... pop out and scream "woof woof"!))

NO U >:(