Dragon backstory (CRIT NEEDED)

(Locked)

85 Worgen Druid
7255
Hello everyone,

Now, I know a good amount of you absolutely hate dragon role players. But I find this is (usually) for one of the following reasons:

-They have no idea how to role play
-They disregard lore completely
- They crave attention 24/7
-They can't actually turn into a dragon

I have created a backstory for a dragon character I plan to role play (WITH the Vial of the Sands). Please read it and give your thoughts, criticism, comments, and anything else. I am an experienced role player and believe I have what it takes to pull this kind of character off!

Savrion had once lived in the dark, treacherous caverns of Deepholm. A short flight from the roosts of the emerald Sandstone drakes, he was living among a group of others like him, a golden amber colour, amongst the rumbling earth and thunder of the elementals themselves. The sandstone drakes, all except for the ruby flight, had uneasily agreed to an alliance with Neltharion- they had no choice.

However, they remained quiet in their caves, leaving only to hunt and sending a few, sparing patrols out every night to survey the damage the frenzied elementals continued to cause and maintain their border.

After several months of this, though, a bone-chilling screech was heard. Savrion and another drake, Avaras, flew out of the caves in search of the source - the scout was dead, his flesh seemingly melting away. An act of shadow magic.

Savrion had looked around with fear in his eyes. Scanning the area for the attacker. Suddenly, without even time to react, Savrion turned and saw as Avaras dropped dead before him, consumed in flames. Savrion looked up - a group of Kaldorei stood on a ledge above him- one a mage, and two priests. Panicked, he spun in the direction of the caves, only to roar with despair as he saw three shamans exiting them - a flurry of flames consuming the caverns behind them.

Savrion's eyes darted from the Kaldorei to the shamans, spinning. One of the priests jumped down and began to whisper something indiscernible to the dragon. The elf's eyes glowed bright gold, and there was a bright flash of light - the last moment Savrion remembered had been dropping to the ground, incapacitated.

He blinked as he came to consciousness a time later - he could not guess how long he had been unconscious for. As his normally-sharp vision came into focus, he looked in surprise at the kaldorei who had been whispering, calmly sitting in the corner of the room and mixing some sort of odd herb in a stone bowl. He smiled as he noticed the drake awaking. "Ah, stone one, you're with us again at last...", he said quietly in a deep, steady voice. Savrion only blinked again.

The kaldorei looked at him, as if evaluating his strength. "We've spared you, drake, in hopes that you may assist us." He gestured towards shaking World Pillar. "It's going to collapse at any time, you know...", he muttered. Savrion nodded slowly. The priest stood up and walked towards him, holding out some bits of herb. "Eat this. It will help your strength.", he said as he placed it in front of Savrion. Savrion did, and almost immediately felt the effects of some sort of enchantment on the herb, his energy came back to him.

The kaldorei smiled again. "We require your assistance in obtaining the last piece of the pillar. We have little time and at the moment our odds are decreasing by the seconds..." He furrowed his brow and looked at the quivering Pillar.

Savrion did not reply, and simply nodded. Regardless of outcome, he was in life-debt, and without a flight (he cringed at the thought of his dead flight members), Neltharion no longer possessed ways to hurt him, other than through physical means.

The kaldorei nodded. "I'm glad you agree. I am Nirvallus Duskwhisper."

-FOUR MONTHS LATER-

With the World Pillar restored, Savrion and Nirvallus had led the rest of the kaldorei in a moving expedition to help rid Deepholm of remaining cultists and the (still rampaging) elementals.

However, in an evening ambush on their camp posed by Cultists, the kaldorei were slain, including Nirvallus. Savrion barely managed to escape with his life, fleeing to the Pillar and entering the portal to Stormwind.

Almost immediately he had been roped down and captured by the elite guard, and brought before King Varian Wrynn. Wrynn, after hearing the explanation (albeit he was skeptical) agreed to allow Savrion to stay in Stormwind under heavy watch from guards and allowed no privileges.

Savrion now stays in Stormwind, searching for repurpose and to fill the void that is his guilt and eternal debt to Nirvallus. He has never removed the Kaldorei-crafted saddle from his back.


Thank you for reading. I am not an excellent writer, but I hope I didn't bore you out of your skull!

I appreciate ALL feedback!

Shiftia
85 Night Elf Warrior
6920
That's a rather interesting way to look at it.

And it's actually playable.

I'd like to run into this person sometime.
85 Worgen Druid
7255
01/04/2011 10:39 PMPosted by Slywyn
That's a rather interesting way to look at it.

And it's actually playable.

I'd like to run into this person sometime.


Thank you so much, I really appreciate the positive feedback! :)
85 Worgen Druid
7255
Looking for more feedback.
85 Undead Priest
6840
It's really not bad at all, especially considering how cringe-worthy some of these backstories can be, as you pointed out. I would give it a B+.
87 Goblin Death Knight
0
I would accept that 100%, especially since you will actually look like a dragon...
29 Blood Elf Rogue
340
I like it. You obviously put alot of work into this one as far as thoughts go.
100 Night Elf Hunter
10930
I would give this a cautious "wait and see" judgement... which considering the usual drek that dragon roleplay inspires counts as the closest to a ringing endorsement you're going to see from me.
85 Night Elf Warrior
6920
01/05/2011 11:09 AMPosted by Drektal
I'll say to you what I say to all people who think dragon RP can be done correctly.

You can polish a turd as much as you want, but at the end of the day it's still a piece of sh*t.


This isn't going to get you very far.

And there's often a diamond to be found in the rough. Keep throwing the stigma at people. You'll find yourself wrong eventually.
85 Night Elf Warrior
6920
01/05/2011 11:27 AMPosted by Drektal


This isn't going to get you very far.

And there's often a diamond to be found in the rough. Keep throwing the stigma at people. You'll find yourself wrong eventually.


You're missing my point, so I'll elaborate.

Sandstone Drakes are not their own flight. None of the new drake mounts that were added with Cataclysm are even dragons. They're elementals made to look like dragons.

http://www.wowpedia.org/Elemental_drake_mounts
http://www.wowpedia.org/Stone_drake

They are not capable of doing anything that a real dragon can do. They can't learn magic or take on a mortal form. They're just earth and air elementals made to look like dragons.


Then all her story needs is tweaking, if she even wants to continue it. The "dragons" act, look, and behave like real dragons.

How many people outside of Deepholm know that they're actually elementals? My guess is not many.

You could very well turn it into a story of finding out who you are and your place in the world if you wanted to. No one ever explains to these "Dragons" what they are, they're just supposed to know. "You are earth. You like earth. The end."

Maybe some Night Elf, in her story, rescues the "Dragon" from the Twilight Hunters, mistakenly believing that it's a real Dragon. The "Dragon", not at all sure what it is other than it is earth and likes earth, accepts his definition. "Sure, I'm a dragon. Makes sense."

Now the Nelf is dead, he is in Stormwind, and thinks he's a Dragon. Maybe a mage sees him, detects very similar magic to that which binds elementals. "But wait, that's a dragon." And it makes him curious.

Bam, antagonist. "Dragon" is the protagonist. Sounds like a pretty nice story to me.
62 Troll Death Knight
670
I actually didn't read the back-story, but I have to say that there is nothing wrong with dragon rpers if they do it right. The way your doing it looks right to me. Alcatraxx out.
85 Night Elf Warrior
6920


Then all her story needs is tweaking, if she even wants to continue it. The "dragons" act, look, and behave like real dragons.

How many people outside of Deepholm know that they're actually elementals? My guess is not many.

You could very well turn it into a story of finding out who you are and your place in the world if you wanted to. No one ever explains to these "Dragons" what they are, they're just supposed to know. "You are earth. You like earth. The end."

Maybe some Night Elf, in her story, rescues the "Dragon" from the Twilight Hunters, mistakenly believing that it's a real Dragon. The "Dragon", not at all sure what it is other than it is earth and likes earth, accepts his definition. "Sure, I'm a dragon. Makes sense."

Now the Nelf is dead, he is in Stormwind, and thinks he's a Dragon. Maybe a mage sees him, detects very similar magic to that which binds elementals. "But wait, that's a dragon." And it makes him curious.

Bam, antagonist. "Dragon" is the protagonist. Sounds like a pretty nice story to me.


First of all, the drakes know that they're elementals. Why? Because in this case, a sandstone drake would be from Deepholm. Everything from Deepholm is made of earth. The ground, the structures, and the inhabitants themselves. All of the inhabitants of Deepholm are earth elementals.

As to your first question, I'll correct your answer. Everyone knows that they're elementals. Why? For the same reason the elementals themselves know what they are. Because they're from their respective elemental planes (as mentioned above, Deepholm). And anyone who's not a complete idiot will know that anything from Deepholm is an earth elemental and anything from Skywall is an air elemental. Hell, a portal to Deepholm opened right in Stormwind and Orgrimmar.

The Twilight's Hammer isn't that stupid either. They know that the only thing that will look like a dragon in Deepholm would be one of their own Twilight drakes or one of the elementals that resemble a drake. They definitely know that a big flying stone drake is not a real dragon.

And finally, elementals do not have the kind of individualistic thought process that you suggest that they do. Elementals are created as minions of their respective elemental lord. The stone drakes, who've never entered Azeroth until now, have remained in Deepholm for a reason. They were created to serve their purpose (likely as defenders against outsiders) as long as they exist.

I'm sorry, but stone drakes are simply purty'd up earth elementals.


While a lot of it is speculation, I'll give the point to you.

That still doesn't stop someone from changing the story and still using the item to actually -be- a drake. They don't look all that different from Black Flight drakes, at any rate. Though how long one of those would survive in Stormwind is anyone's guess.
85 Night Elf Warrior
6920
01/05/2011 1:43 PMPosted by Drektal
That still doesn't stop someone from changing the story and still using the item to actually -be- a drake. They don't look all that different from Black Flight drakes, at any rate. Though how long one of those would survive in Stormwind is anyone's guess.


That could be done. I was simply pointing out the flaws in the OP's backstory.


Basically boils down to the idea is solid, but the implementation is flawed.

@OP: Keep trying, imo. :3 If you came up with that much I'm sure you can come up with something that works.
85 Worgen Druid
7255
01/05/2011 1:43 PMPosted by Drektal
That still doesn't stop someone from changing the story and still using the item to actually -be- a drake. They don't look all that different from Black Flight drakes, at any rate. Though how long one of those would survive in Stormwind is anyone's guess.


That could be done. I was simply pointing out the flaws in the OP's backstory.


I REALLY appreciate this, I looked up sandstone drakes like mad and couldn't find any information on them in regards to lore at all! Thanks!

I will have to alter the story to have him as an elemental, but regardless, not too much would have to change. I guess I would unfortunately not be able to use a human form while role playing unless he were to acquire some sort of disguise from one who can use magic, but the whole elemental thing should be fairly simple to alter.

Thanks again, and thank you to everyone else who gave feedback. This is awesome. :)
85 Night Elf Warrior
6920



That could be done. I was simply pointing out the flaws in the OP's backstory.


I REALLY appreciate this, I looked up sandstone drakes like mad and couldn't find any information on them in regards to lore at all! Thanks!

I will have to alter the story to have him as an elemental, but regardless, not too much would have to change. I guess I would unfortunately not be able to use a human form while role playing unless he were to acquire some sort of disguise from one who can use magic, but the whole elemental thing should be fairly simple to alter.

Thanks again, and thank you to everyone else who gave feedback. This is awesome. :)


Well that raises another point. What motivation would an elemental have to be within a city? They're generally chaotic and hate anything not themselves, and are hostile to anything that moves. -Maybe- he could have been.... sent, or something. But then that still leaves that he's an elemental. He doesn't know how life works. He's not alive. He's magically animated dirt. Does he even think?

Edit: I'm speaking of lesser elementals. Obviously Lieutenants and the more higher-ranked ones think. But does your average run of the mill earth elemental have anything other on the brain than "NOT EARTH. KILL."
Edited by Slywyn on 1/5/2011 2:23 PM PST
This topic is locked.

Please report any Code of Conduct violations, including:

Threats of violence. We take these seriously and will alert the proper authorities.

Posts containing personal information about other players. This includes physical addresses, e-mail addresses, phone numbers, and inappropriate photos and/or videos.

Harassing or discriminatory language. This will not be tolerated.

Forums Code of Conduct

Report Post # written by

Reason
Explain (256 characters max)

Reported!

[Close]