World of Warcraft®

*Composed in a neat, precise script, within the pages of a leather-bound journal of elven origin.  Forgotten, the journal rests open on a corner table inside the Blue Recluse*

It is not enough to want to bring them together. 

All around me, factions are splintered, verging on chaos despite being united under the same banner. Yes, we are alliance, but I return from sickness only to learn Pillar is staggered and Ehlina disfigured -- forced into retirement -- and the Presidium and Ocheliad had been at war.  It's rumored the latter have a formal truce now, but I wonder how tenacious it is.  Will it hold?

My time with the spirit healer did little to prepare me for this.  I chose to live; chose to return and continue the efforts I abandoned before the spring.  Do I admit the one I had to heal was me?  Would their faith falter if they knew the truth?

I've been welcomed in so many ways and by so many, it leaves me breathless, wondering if I shall drown in the depths of my own happy tears. It would humble even the strongest of warriors or the wisest of nobles.  Duessel continues to ruffle my hair as though I'm still a girl of seventeen; it's not nearly as mortifying as I'd like him to believe.  He'll never know just how much he reminds me of my brother, Jespen.  Kip is still a steadfast friend, though I don't see him nearly as much as I'd like.  Whatever his endeavors, he seems happy with them.  And Gabe -- how very reckless I am where he is concerned -- knowing him better than most and understanding why my name is "Sara", I must constantly remind myself that he *is* the embodiment of evil.  Instead, I bury my face in his mane, cling to him, wishing I could *be* Sara, could tell him I forgive him, and somehow redeem his soul.

Only Sath knows this truth, and she made it clear she will thwart any effort I make to do so.

Gabe doesn't believe Bryn is dead and believes we're still intended.  How can I explain to him there will be no oath-binding ceremony?  It worries me.  Gabe worries me.  But still I am compelled to watch over and care for him.

Bryn ... I light a candle for him and set it in the window of my soul.  Perhaps this way -- one day -- his spirit will find me again.

Narnicka is still as strong and handsome as ever.  I was surprised to learn he and Gen had a son, Lahkin; a son who became near-adult in the months of my absence, and all in some magical blink of the eye.  I've not heard the story yet, but I imagine Narn had a hand in it, as he is wont to do at times.

Nytelilly still frequents the Recluse. Lilly is a comfort and there's a serenity about her quiet, easy demeanor that has always filled me with warmth and tranquility.  Kimna is gone, though, and my heart aches in her absence.  Marii says she maybe left to live among the orcs. I miss her.  I will always miss her.  She was a patient guide, wise counsel, and the gentle hand of a loving sister.

*the following page*

Inspector Orwyn has been kind enough to take me in upon my return, offering refuge in exchange for what minor services I have to offer. He believes I can be of service to the chief medical officer, Talrathas, whom I vaguely remember patching me up after that wretched blood elf sliced open my gut just a month after the Feast of Winterveil. I am ill at ease with the arrangement. I'm not sure I have much to offer the Watch, doubt my ability, and my patience. Despite being assured I don't have to arrest anyone, I often find myself questioning why I'd even bother. Isn't just as easy, just as practical, to polymorph them and leave them thus?

In taking refuge within the Watch, it seems I've sacrificed much of my neutrality. Why do I struggle so, among so many I love, to find my own place -- my own home? How does an ambassador manage this while I find it so complicated? So paralyzing a feat? Oh, that I could fly beneath every banner from now until eternity ... this would truly make my heart sing!

This new refuge complicates my ability to keep careful watch over all those dear to me. Perhaps it's dangerous to assume anyone associated with the Ocheliad believes me a friend, but I've developed many deep attachments, despite some of their quirks or a penchant for overlooking the law. I will do my best to look after everyone, including -- no ... especially -- that band of ruffians, despite anyone's associations -- to the best of my ability and as long as they permit me. Everyone needs a place he or she can call home, a place of solace, even when it's a home away from home. If this is as close to the light as I may ever venture, so be it. I do so with my head held high.

I arrived just in time to be reunited and reacquainted with my oldest of friends. Sadly, though, much has changed and when the tide is right on Thursday, Aleshton will sail out to sea again. I can't be too sad, though, for on a ship at sea is where he most belongs and will be happy. I don't know which is his first love, the seas or the vessel itself. I need to ask him. Such a detail shouldn't be overlooked.

Either way, I will not wear my heart on my sleeve, will not cry when he sails away from the harbor. It will be a day and a cause for celebration.

I see familiar faces ... faces I recognize and believe I should know, but the memories of them elude me. I remember Cray Autchin, and Gentyl, And little Cup. Most notably, the once-General, Haelolin. But, I can't recall if I ever took the time to ask the questions that would help me to know them. Learn about them. Ah well, now is the time to correct such oversights. I see many new faces, as well. Adra and Sol. Will, and the flaming druid cat ... how fascinating that one is! And Chess. What a clever man, and so very handsome, despite his age. It is my goal to make him laugh ... someday, even if only once. I swear there are less worgen these days, too. Which reminds me, I need to find out what has happened to Jonathan.

And though the Recluse no longer feels like home and hasn't for as much as a year, it's still nice sometimes to visit. My heart still yearns for the Hearth and Hind and the park, but perhaps there will come another place I may call home. There is always hope that the gods have not abandoned us completely.

For now, though, Aun'Mas is waiting to try on his new clothing. I have checked and double checked every stitch and I'm quite pleased with my selections. Hopefully, he shall be pleased, too.


((I want to thank the CC RP community for welcoming myself and Suni back into their lives. You guys are the BEST.))