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So, a lot of this is already mentioned in our stickied thread "The "Why" of RP Standards" but that doesn't mean it's not worth going into a bit more detail about. This is just a gentle reminder that we're all people, and most of us are people who are fairly attached to our characters and what happens to them. Sometimes its hard to avoid the "OOC drama" but here's some helpful tips to keep it to a minimum.

The key to RPing -- particularly in situations where a lot is happening, a lot of people are involved, or there's fighting going on -- is to communicate.

Double Talk -- IC and OOC
Firstly, we all know that random RP does happen, it's spontaneous and unpredictable. That's awesome, but that doesn't mean that those involved can't talk OOCly about what's going on. There's different ways of doing this -- just do not use /say! If the RP is just between one or two different people, whispers can work nicely, otherwise you may want to form a party or a raid -- or, if the RP is turning out to be big enough, make a global channel or use AllianceOOC! There's lots of ways to set up your communication and none of them are very difficult, so there's really no excuse!

It may help if you have a separate window in your chat log for OOC talk and IC talk -- I do that. (That way I can miss things happening in both! No, I'm kinda kidding. :P)
By doing this, you're going to be able to follow all of the other things I'm going to suggest in this post, and hopefully that will keep everybody happy while they RP.

Keeping the Pace
One reason why it's necessary to have OOC conversations while you RP is that sometimes there's a lot going on all at once. Talking things out means that you have some idea what's coming up that you'll have to react to, so if you miss a line here or there you'll generally still be alright.

Also, if you DO miss something, talking about what's going on OOCly will make sure you can ask what happened. It can keep you from misunderstanding someone's emote. Or it can give you a way to point out something someone else missed (gently please!)

Sometimes, it may be convenient -- in a larger, fast-paced RP scene, to have a sort of "posting order" and take turns. If that looks like it's going to be the case, then talking about it while things are going on will let you easily transition into that format without having to break up what's going on.

Finishing Move
It's absolutely KEY that we talk about the "end results" OOCly. I don't think anyone really needs to be reminded that you can't control someone else's character or do anything that permanently alters someone else's character (or their personal property, such as house, mount, pet, gear, etc) without permission. That's not to say we SHOULDN'T be doing things to our characters. If nothing traumatic ever happened in our characters lives, I think we'd all get a bit bored, right?

If you want something to happen to your character, ask around. Someone will be more than happy to help traumatize you, I guarantee it. (When in doubt, ask me about my alts. :P) Or, if you want to attack a character, ask how badly you can maim them or kill them (if at all). If your victim doesn't want to be maimed or killed, I'm willing to bet you can cooperatively find a way to have the attack/arrest/whatever happen and not do a whole lot of permanent damage. By talking this out first, it still leaves plenty of room for creativity and improvisation but you all know where you're trying to end up and everyone should be happy.

If you're not sure how something is going to play out or what's going to happen, it's always better to ask first. "How far can this go?" is better than "Sorry I killed you and made you delete your 85 with 5234579348752 achievement points that you've been playing for six years."
I know that people say it's better to apologize than ask permission, but this is the exception that makes the rule.

Take a Chance, Roll The Dice
In some cases, it may not be possible to reach a compromise. If you don't want to scratch the whole thing, you can roll for it. typing /roll and seeing what number comes up is absolutely the fairest way to determine who's getting what they want. Yes, it will break up the scene a little bit -- but, this way nobody can argue with what happened. The dice don't lie.

....except goblin dice are usually weighted. Just sayin'. :P

I Wish I Could This in RL!
Now, all of the above won't 100% of the time keep everyone happy -- as much as we wish it did. That's why I'm going to point out that it IS okay to just apologize and retcon. RPing is supposed to be fun above all else, right? If it isn't fun, just undo it. That's why this *isn't* the same as real life.
Besides, if Blizz can retcon (and we know they can) we should be able to too!

I completely agree. RP is so much more fun when there is give and take and everyone is on the same page.

Cooperation and communication - those are the keys to some kickass RP!

Good guide, Cray! You overachiever!

Pants.

Oh, and I support this thread.

you and your pants. aaand /support by the by

Very well thought out and written.

...other than this line:

11/16/2011 06:52 PMPosted by Crayauchtin

....except goblin dice are usually weighted. Just sayin'. :P

I resent that remark! I use perfectly normal, non-weighted dice. My deck of cards, on the other hand... :P


Oh, yeah. I also suggested this for a sticky. This is a good enough mini-guide that I'd think newer players to the server should be able to get a look at it easily.

This would be nice. The only problem is, the people who need this guide probably aren't going to look at it.

They're not the kind of RPers who come to the forums or live in the channels.

Or think rules apply to them. "Rules? Who needs 'em?"

Marun,

What you say may be true, but is also very negative in nature. Tut-tut and for SHAME! Bring something useful to the party. I vote for cookies.

Cray,

*Pulls her wand from her sleeve and shakes it a bit before drawing herself a little soap box to climb up on.*

I love you (and not just because I'm Suni and I love everybody) but I'ma ding you here. You've barely nicked the surface of a chronic issue when what you need to do is dive head-long into the murky undertow and address the problem at its source. Where is the WHY of communication failure here?

Guides are great. They're useful, handy and, helpful to have. However, what's needed now is an open and on-going dialogue involving people who are willing to talk WITH rather than AT each other (something I see happening much too often) to FIX the issue equitably for everyone.

So, step up Shiny Paladin, because I *know* you can do better.

Yes, I agree. OOC and IC discussions are integral to fun and satisfying RP, but the part of effective communication I often see lacking is LISTENING. It's really disheartening when random fun ensues only to have it erode into bickering and fighting over who's right or wrong. Nobody wants to lose; nobody wants to fail. Everybody wants to win. Egos get in the way. You'd be surprised how many people tell me they're afraid to speak up, because they feel nobody will *hear* them.

And ... so many of you can be so damned inflexible.

It's my opinion that the number one rule -- of every RP guild -- written in bold caps should read: Your character may NEVER use deadly force against another player character without clear and express consent. Ever.

It should be the golden rule of RP. Honestly. It could save a lot of grief.

Another observation, and one that makes me want to swat a bunch of snouts with a rolled up newspaper, is assigning malicious intent. DON'T ASSUME THE WORST OF PEOPLE. Why do we have to assume everyone who's not like us or who *doesn't* know the unwritten rules is automatically a griefer, or a jerk, or a <add whatever foul name you favor here>? This is ... just cruelty. And in so many cases, undeserved. No one is ever above or beyond the ability to act like a jackass. Really.

Respect and trust are crucial and, without them, effective communication is crippled. So, when communication begins to fail and things get out of hand, who will be the first to lay down his arms and respond peaceably? We're on the same team, right? We're supposed to be friends, right?

Friends help and support each other.

Right?

*Steps down off her soap box, picks it up and folds it into a teeny cube, tucking it into her pocket before taking her leave.*

11/17/2011 08:51 AMPosted by Zizzikky

Oh, yeah. I also suggested this for a sticky. This is a good enough mini-guide that I'd think newer players to the server should be able to get a look at it easily.

Thank you! I've never been stickied before!

....no one say ANYTHING about that sentence. It's fine.

11/17/2011 01:25 PMPosted by Suni

However, what's needed now is an open and on-going dialogue involving people who are willing to talk WITH rather than AT each other (something I see happening much too often) to FIX the issue equitably for everyone.

You are extremely right on this, Suni, but this guide is only scratching the surface of what may be turning into Cray's Crusade for Communication (I like alliteration, I apologize :P). There was a good number of us at the meeting in the Blue Recluse the other night, and I think we made progress there. This guide is really to summarize what we discussed and push people in the right direction.

Marun was right (in the post Dev quoted but I can't find, I'm assuming it was deleted?) in that most people who REALLY need this probably aren't reading this thread. I'm aware. That's why we need to do more... but a shiny new guide is a good first step.

I'd also encourage -- as I said at the meeting -- that ALL RP guilds talk about this stuff in their OOC channels or at their next guild meeting. This is key stuff, guys, and it's important to make sure everyone is on the same page.

So, if you're in a guild that RPs, even if this has not ever once been a problem for you, talk about communicating, please! It's better to be prepared for miscommunications and try to stop them than to try to clean up after Hurricane Drama hits!

There are a plethora of issues that accompany RP. I remember when I was in Modas il Toralar back during Burning Crusade, the structure of the guild was a bit difficult to work out in RP, and wasn't friendly to spontaneous RP at all. It worked on the understanding that the guildmaster was the top level of a shadowy, evil organization, and that the officers had direct authority, at their every whim (in keeping with the "evil" theme, which our realm sadly lacks in RP guilds), to levy any and all punishments against lower-ranking members up to and including death.

This is hard to enforce, to be honest. People being what they are, no one likes to be told what to do. We put up with it from police officers (for the most part) because the law says we have to. We put up with it from employers because they're signing out paychecks. Some folks put up with it from religious leaders because the tenets of their religion mandate it. Kids put up with it from their parents (while they're young, at least...) because they have no other option. Someone under a lease puts up with it from the landlord/primary leaseholder because their living arrangements are at stake, and leases carry legal weight.

In voluntary RP, however, it's a lot more difficult. In the aforementioned Modas, very few people would intentionally and openly challenge the authority of one of the officers (unless they were bucking to take that position), at least if they were playing true to the story behind that guild. However, in practice, it didn't always work out that way, and the story fell apart any time someone got uppity with leadership. The leadership could say "YOu're being punished", but there was no way to actually do that. It required the consent of the one being punished. If that player was having a rough day or just decided they didn't like being told what to do, nothing short of ejection from the guild could deter them, and as the people behind the characters in Modas il Toralar were, nearly 100% of them, pretty awesome people OOC, that wasn't terribly likely to happen.

It's implied, when joining a guild that has a firm IC authority structure, that you'd submit to those in authority. If I were to make a character and join Lluchduu Ocheliad, it serves no purpose and makes no sense to stand there and start thumbing my nose at Imperon or his officers. If I were to make a Mage who was really evil, but I chose to try to join Pia Presidium, I wouldn't stand there telling Gentyl off, because the first question that should have come into my mind was "If I can't accept the authority of the story, why did I join the guild?"

I wish it weren't the case, but drama is part and parcel of being with other RPers. It's in our makeup. RP, by its very nature, is drama (and comedy, and horror, and erotica, etc.). This said, the mature ones learn to leave the OOC stuff by the wayside when IC starts up. There are people I happen to like in person (from the interactions I've had with them) whose guilds I could never consider joining because I just can't operate well in the environments they've arranged for their stories. We've just recently had one person removed from the guild I lead because (among other reasons) that person just wasn't happy with where our upcoming RP re-focus is going.

What Suni said is accurate: one should always work out, beforehand, rules for actual engagements. Options like "ultimate flagging" in the Gurubashi Arena are always there, but sometimes the story needs to be told with an actual victor, and if you leave it all up to RNG (sometimes something procs when it shouldn't, and the one who was supposed to win is suddenly on a corpse run from the jungle), then the story gets altered. It's better to just work out, ahead of time, who's going to win which battle, and what the ultimate ending of the story is going to be. If it's longer-term RP, it's best to re-visit it periodically to make adjustments based on unplanned occurrences: sometimes someone comes along, gets verbally involved, and awesome new story options open up that the people originally involved hadn't considered.

We can't enforce our will on other players. I can't get into a fight with Cray and say I've broken his weapon, armor or shield. All he has to say is "No you didn't, look, they're all right here", and all of a sudden I'm the one who (rightly) looks like a fool. However, it's a lot more entertaining for the observers if he and I worked out ahead of time, "Look, Rage, we need a victory for Cray here. Let's go ahead and say he shatters your runeblades in a fight outside the Blue Recluse, and you have to go around looking for a new weapon to get your vengeance with." That's good drama, and the people involved in working it out, as well as watching it, take part in a more engaging story.

Work out the details ahead of time, because there's no other way to handle RP contention.

RP be give an' take. Heck, mon, everythin' in dis life be give an' take!

Be kind, be polite, be professional. Da griefers ya will meet an' don't ya doubt it, but da one dat walks away lookin' da best is da one dat is flexible an' cool-headed. Even if ya need a fashionable bright blue mohawk with a built-in coolness factor ta do it, like mine!

11/17/2011 05:36 PMPosted by Ragefang

(in keeping with the "evil" theme, which our realm sadly lacks in RP guilds),

This is being corrected.

11/17/2011 08:00 PMPosted by Yotingo

Even if ya need a fashionable bright blue mohawk with a built-in coolness factor ta do it, like mine!

*scalps Yotingo* Where you be now, mon? *wicked grin...then notices the disapproving glances* Oh, alright. *superglues Yotingo's mohawk back on* There.

11/17/2011 11:34 PMPosted by Gruzzexl

This is being corrected.

Indeed.

Shameless bump to get Cray to finish his guide.


For communication!

The guide itself is finished, Tael, unless you have some suggestions of things to add? At this point what needs to happen is that we need to talk about this stuff, as individual guilds. I know I'll be talking about it at the next Pia meeting!

Even if ya need a fashionable bright blue mohawk with a built-in coolness factor ta do it, like mine!

*scalps Yotingo* Where you be now, mon? *wicked grin...then notices the disapproving glances* Oh, alright. *superglues Yotingo's mohawk back on* There.

<slaps hands over his bare scalp, hiding the SuperCooler 2000 Plus wired there> Oi, mon, be careful! Dat built in coolness factor be a very delicate, very expensive piece of work! Emphasis bein' on expensive. Emphasis bein' on very expensive!

An' da hair took ten years ta grow out like dat, too...

*sneaks around, stopping only to lick Suni's hand and steal Rage's pants*

*steals the pants from Zularn and runs*

Good post, Cray. :) Agreed with all.