Only one egg, and NO BACON?
Amateur.
Bah! Who said it was One egg? As to the bacon, that is an ordeal in itself.
Bacon is not just something to add to a small morning breakfast with stolen coffee. Bacon is a meal by itself!
A whole different style of ritual is required to eat such a holy meal. Being a paladin, Holy is what I do best.
It takes time, preparation and the right side dishes to accompany those golden strips of fat and grease. No no, what am I thinking? A side dish implies is has the right to be by the bacon's side as an equal! They need to be on plates by themselves, a small one, somewhere in the corner with the salt and pepper. To be reached when necessary to warrant such a privilege as to be beside or even eaten with a slice of bacon.
Then there is the drink, stolen coffee will not do, even one as tasty, if not somewhat toxic, as the one that appeared on my table for breakfast. No sir, the drink that serves as the bacon's right hand, its second best, but not the best friend, maybe even the third, is one that is so rare and so beautifully delicious that it brings a strong man to tears. That glorious drink is that of Theramore pale ale!
Filled with the refreshing tears of Lady Jaina herself and chilled by her powerful magic, it is stored in the coldest cellars where it sits for years. It takes many years before it is ready to drink, which is why it is so rare. I myself have only four casks in storage, collected throughout the Northrend adventures and while fighting against the Lich Kings minions. She cried a lot then and there may never be another time to get so much.
Yes, you see, to serve bacon with my epic burnt toast and fried eggs(and stolen coffee) would be a travesty against the world! Think well of this lesson and better prepare yourself when next you serve bacon so eagerly with a lowly breakfast.
The world may never forgive you.
