World of Warcraft®

A flyer, one of very many in multiple locations, is nailed up to a wall. Being of a red glossy coloration, sporting reflective golden print, one might expect some money went into producing these. It reads:

Do you like respect? Do you like glory? Do you like power? Do you like gold?
Well too bad! You won't be getting any quite as well as the Plunderblood Cartel is.

" What is the Plunderblood Cartel? "
Instupicuous, that's what! The Plunderblood are militant cartel, teetering between the realms of business and conquest to achieve maximum greatness acceleration efficiency. Led by none other than wealthy gladiator Kedia Blitzbuckler, the Plunderblood Cartel are set to rise up to absolute zenith in utter fantastic triumph by means of honorable trade and crusade. What's there not to love?

" How do I join the Plunderblood Cartel? "
It's easy: All you have to do is make the best choice of your life! Send word to Blood Princess Kedia Blitzbuckler, or Baroness Pashi Silversplint by means of verbal venture, written mail, or otherwise, and you're practically writing your ticket to victordom. An interview and hardly-binding contract is all it takes, and you too can be a part of this golden rising sun!

Be powerful! Be affluent! Be GLORIOUS!
Break free of your loathsome, unprofitable, mundane chains of tyrannically-dealt slave labor!
Be a member of the PLUNDERBLOOD CARTEL!

Paperclipped to the bottom of the flyer are several coupons

Half-Off Your Next Mani-Pedi!
at the Barbershop! Just ask for Lurgla!
Beautify those Nails!*











The back of the coupon details the asterisk, in tiny, tiny print:
*Offer subject to change without notice. Allow 4 to 6 weeks for delivery. All rights reserved. Not responsible for death, injury, maiming, or any other claimage. Take with food. Do not mix with alcohol. Do not look directly into the operational end of the device. Keep away from children. Use of coupon is acceptance of all terms detailed in document KL24-B. Void where prohibited. Sorry, Tanaris.

Dear Blood Princess Kedia Blitzbuckler,

Throm'ka, greetings. I would consider your offer, but I already enjoy a sufficient amount of glory in my life. I write to you as a friend. Recently, I have done much letter-writing and written communication, myself, and while I find it tedious, boring, and far less enjoyable than battle, it has gifted me with certain insights.

I noticed a spelling mistake in the latter half of your message.

You wrote GLORIOUS, in big capital letters. In my experience, GLOOOOORIOUS would be a more adequate term. They look deceivingly similar, but in the latter case you have to "OOOOO" when you say it, and draw the "OOOOO" out just a little longer than usual.

There should always be no less than five "O"'s. More than twenty is excessive, but five is a healthy number, and people will take you most seriously when you say it (and spell it) just like this. Remember, no less than five - four is just slightly too few, and three is right out.

Aside from that, your militant cartel sounds like it has promise. The Horde can always use more warriors! Lok'tar Ogar, friends, and Aka'Magosh - may the spirits be with you.

- Drakehide, son of Mok'Rukh

P.S. What in the Nether is a Mani-Pedi...?

((I am so, so sorry. xD Given Drake's fixation on the word "GLOOOOORIOUS", I could not resist. ^^))

Dearest Drakehide,

From what I see here it's looking like I have an employee to punish for lack of vital info. Thanks for bringing this mistake to our attention.

I have seen to it that future production of the flyers have been corrected to match with this new info. I hope you get the chance to fest your eyes on the (ahem) GLOOOOORIOUS new adverts we got going around.

Till next time we got you fixing our spelling mistakes (which I think would be great for a job of linguistic commander if you're interested) you keep on with what good work you're doing all around. Drakehide's a name I'll be keeping close.

Strength, honor, glory, and well-blooded blades to ya. Keep it GLOOOOOOORIOUS!

-Kedia Blitzbuckler

P.S. It's pink, luster, and adorable. Maybe a little too adorable.

((Awesome. xD I'll have Drake write a response shortly. In the meantime, might mail or whisper you next time I'm in-game - I have a goblin character I'm planning on making, among all the other zillion alts I'm working on, who might fit the bill for this guild, if you're still looking for recruits.))

((We would be honored to have whoever you may send among us! ))