World of Warcraft®

Open invitation to beat the crap out of my character! (He's really easy to beat up!) If, however, you're not willing to role play (just initiating a duel is no fun) I reserve the right to tell you off -.-

Talmai Meran is a bit of a womanizer. On very rare occassions he actually manages to successfully convince a woman to get between the sheets with him. Since I'm not interested in actually seducing the lovely women of Cenarion Circle but I'd love to have the atmosphere of swashbuckling ladies man, I'm extending an open invitation for anyone to take on any of the following scenarios.

1. Talmai slept with your wife/girlfriend/daughter/sister/mother and you found out and want to slaughter him! (Please only hurt or maim, I like playing the character).

2. Talmai TRIED to sleep with you (if you're a woman) or your wife/girlfriend/daughter/sister/mother and in the process horrendously offended you. Or her. And you want to slaughter him! (Please only hurt or maim, I like playing the character).

3. Talmai BRAGGED about sleeping with you (if you're a woman) or your wife/girlfriend/daughter/sister/mother (but didn't) and in the process horrendously offended you. Or her. And you want to slaughter him! (Please only hurt or maim, I like playing the character).

4. Talmai got busted (but escaped) breaking into you or your daughter/sister/mother/friend's room to steal something, either a valuable item or panties. Don't worry, Talmai won't have a valuable item to get back from him, he'll have sold it... and panties, well... those are kept in a vault if he's successful. You want to slaughter him for the insult! (Please only hurt or maim, I like playing the character).

5. Pretty much anything else, but ask me about it OOC first.

If you choose any of the first four options you don't even have to check with me first, just start RPing. If you're a woman character and Talmai supposedly flirted with you in the past, well... if he doesn't remember it's because he's a mysoginistic prick and I'll RP the "oops, we've met before? tee hee" with much glee and gusto.

ALL I ASK is that if you are trying to kill Talmai, remember that the toon is lower level but give me an escape... if I "vanish" and you can still see me, please pretend you can't!!

P.S. Death Knights are a special case. Talmai is terrified of undead so if you're a Death Knight (or the object of Talmai-harassment is) please check with me first or keep it to the theft option. He wouldn't knowingly flirt with a Death Knight.

HAHAH So much fun :D
I look forward to more encounters! Having a blast meeting new people!

(Copy of a report made to the Stormwind City Watch)

On April 12th at approximately noon I was assaulted by a human man who called himself “Lord Meran”. I was at the Shady Lady with a friend and a very drunk “Lord Meran” lunged at me suggesting that he was going to “motor boat” my “boobage”. I don’t know what this means but I tried to step back, unfortunately against the wall. “Lord Meran” seemed unperturbed and continued his advances lunging again and grabbing me on my left breast and right hip, I think he intended to press his face into my chest, or perhaps kiss me. At this point my friend, Dathelor (who was shapeshifted as a cat at the time), bit my attacker on the leg. “Lord Meran” seemed to recover quickly and stepped back, only to lift his kilt and expose himself to me. I noted at the time that, for some reason, he had a blue ribbon tied around his manhood. At this point I took the hilt of my axe and brought it down on his head, knocking him out with the force of the blow.

“Lord Meran” is a tall human man with muscular features. His hair is dark and pulled back into a tail at the nape of his neck. I believe his eyes were blue. He was shirtless, wearing nothing more than a bright red and purple kilt, and a blue ribbon.

I would be eternally grateful to any kind soul that wished to bail me out of jail... as long as my mother doesn't find out.

((GLORIOUS LAWL. Talmai, this is thoroughly and gloriously hilarious.))

((
I've heard some OOC grumblings about Talmai and I wanted to clear something up. Kiriniseth is also my toon, the incident that led to Talmai's "arrest" was fabricated to provide an RP opportunity with the Stormwind City Watch. I am sincerely sorry for an offense I've caused, either to survivors of real sexual assault or anyone else who may have become offended by this particular twist.

I don't move past cheesy pick up lines and sheer stupidity unless I whisper the player first and ask if they are comfortable with the role play. Most often I whisper the player who is only having to deal with the cheesy pick up lines and say "please accept my apologies for the baffoonary". If I get ANY HINT that someone is uncomfortable out of character (even if they are only a witness) I find a reason for Talmai to leave.

If I've missed someone despite these "safeguards" I am extremely sorry. My intention here is not to harm but to bring a little levity to a sometimes serious RP world. Often this levity is found in the completely innappropriate comments that come spewing out of Talmai's mouth (sorry Luptia and Aurone!), but as my ad suggests... there is a way to "take care of it" in-character that will work.

Beyond IC means, a simple ((whisper)) to me to let me know that you'd rather I not play Talmai will get the results you want. I will, without shame or hurt feelings, withdraw Talmai from the RP and return on a more moderate character.

What WON'T get results is discussing my horribleness behind the scenes and merely "wishing" I would stop. Alas, unlike one of my characters, I am not psychic... nor do I have a spy network that can inform me of my crimes before it's too late to do me any good.

I'm an incredibly hard person to offend. A polite whisper is all it takes to let me know to back off.
))

In other news... I'm out of jail. The dame running the prison took me for my word when I said I could totally cover the 100 gold bail. Yeah, right. If I had 100 gold I wouldn't be giving it to the likes of her! Women like that are far too much work, like getting your meal out of a can without a canopener.. by the time you get to the meat, you're too tired to eat.

Anyway, I'm on the run now. She threatened going to my mother for the cash which is pretty much a death sentence (or... again, cause there's already a price on my head. Wait, no, that came out wrong... not a bounty like haha you get cash if you bring me in, I mean someone's already PLOTTING to kill me. Yeesh!).

People to avoid:
Tacitah Meran
Miragule
Bethanie
Any Stormwind City Watch
That creepy dude in the Hinterlands
eh
take too long to write the whole list.

Bah! Kord's not creepy...I leave that to Arlston ;)

Talmai is a REALLY bad rogue, Kord. He was stealthing around and finally jumped out of the shadows only to realize the folks he was avoiding were RIGHT behind him. If you were visible, it wasn't to Talmai. So yeah, voice from no where? creepy!

Hmm, I need to work on his disguises and come visit again.

Talmai's bail has been paid but he missed his community service meeting.

(( Since the real Gelyne will be moved here soon, I'll post as her instead of the place holder. ))

Being an agent had its perks and one such was grabbing information readily available, such as the fools that skip out on bail. Really it was only something she did when bored and this Talmai fellow sounded entertaining. So, off she went to position herself where she knew Talmai would be hiding. Who, with his reputation, could resist a fit redhead with an off the shoulder number she was currently wearing such as her?

It had worked and with a bit of playful banter, she had him eating out of her hand. Had she known this fugitive was going to be one hell of a looker, she would of better prepared herself however. The only thing that kept her sober enough to judge this man was that stupidity he seemed to be cursed with. What she wouldn't of gave for a gag of some sort then.

Really, the first minute he spoke she knew he was about as harmless as a fly. She stuck around a lot longer, however, just for pure entertainment value. Both amusement from this man's utter idiocy and ogling from his shirtless torso. At least until the bar started getting fuller, she knew a certain Death Knight was listening in the entire time but people trying to be less sneaky were starting to cramp her style. So, with a tease, she had sauntered off into the night.

Shortly after, with some pull for being an agent of SI:7, she convinced certain parties to accept her payment to clear Talmai's bail then sent him a letter to inform him about it. It would of been nice to have gotten a thanks, however. Maybe a shiny jewel or just a night out? HMMPH! No, instead she got a crotchety ol' hag that had one too many assistant youth operations inhaling her letter to find her. Oh she was going to hunt down Talmai again, to show him the damage that woman did to her FACE! The nerve of the woman, trying to claw her eyes out. She couldn't help she pointed out to Tacitah that that face wasn't fooling anyone, it was the truth damn it! The woman was lucky she only used the hilt of her dagger to ruin that "pretty" face of hers for clawing her own. Though she DID get some juicy details. Apparently that woman was a worgen. Interesting.

Poor Talmai... if it's not one thing it's another. First some babe pays his bail but he's not enough of a detective to figure out who she is. Then his MOM goes and gets into trouble with some BAD folks. Those folks... uh... "liberate" Talmai and keep him hidden away for four days until he mysteriously reappears and claims he was ona four day bender. Hmm.