Chump1: This is my dagger, it's on fire, and has teeth in inconvenient places!
Chump2: Well this is my "magic staff", it's got FLESHY KNOBS! ....mmmm...knobsssss....
Chump3: Oh yeah? Well, look at this, I have no freaking clue what it is, but it's on fire, glows with arcane energy, and that's real saliva leaking out of the um..barrel, I think.... HEY! Get your staff away from that!
Classy Bellweather Fashion Client: How nice for you all. This is my sword. It's made of metal. It cuts things.
Now, we here at Bellweather Fashions don't normally traffic in weapons. For one, they're rude. And for two, they simply don't sell as well as classic plate or cloth goods. But, having come into a shipment recently, we thought what the heck, let's pass these to our clients, and see what they think. So without further ado, our latest offering of implements designed solely for stabbing, bludgeoning, frying, or otherwise exterminating your target.
BKP "Sparrow" Smallbore Rifle (http://us.battle.net/wow/en/item/3042)
1g 30s on the Horde Auction House
This elegant weapon is perfect for the hunter who wishes to not tip off his prey that they are about to unleash a storm of cosmic fury. Not that hunters value stealth, misdirection, and subtlety, really, the very IDEA...
Acrobatic Staff (http://us.battle.net/wow/en/item/3185)
3g 50s on the Horde Auction House
It's a stick. You hit things with it. if I need to explain this further, then perhaps you should not be playing with money, no? (In all fairness, it's a very highly polished stick, perfect for training martial arts with. That is, if such a thing as Martial Artists were to exist../cough cough)
Stone Hammer (http://us.battle.net/wow/en/item/15260)
3g on the Horde Auction House
A lovely piece, solid stone and heartwood, made for the discerning brute. This hammer is the ultimate in no-frills utility, combining elegant lines with excessive weight and nastiness. As an aded attraction, the simplicity results in high ease of clean-up for those particularly "wet" smashing sessions. Stows handily in your invisible pocket for day to day access.
Stonecutter Claymore (http://us.battle.net/wow/en/item/3197)
4g on the Horde Auction House
The piece de resistance. A superb example of a lost art, glimmering metal with a classic crossbar hilt. No excessive attachments, just a pure expression of essential swordcraft. This item simply shouts "I will cut you in half, and never look back". If a weapon could be considered "beautiful" then this one is. And at 4 gold, you cannot go wrong.
I do hope you enjoyed these offerings, and we will return soon with our usual shipments of fine cloth, leather, and wearable metals.
Bellweather of Bellweather Fashions
"A Simple Tailor"
Chump2: Well this is my "magic staff", it's got FLESHY KNOBS! ....mmmm...knobsssss....
Chump3: Oh yeah? Well, look at this, I have no freaking clue what it is, but it's on fire, glows with arcane energy, and that's real saliva leaking out of the um..barrel, I think.... HEY! Get your staff away from that!
Classy Bellweather Fashion Client: How nice for you all. This is my sword. It's made of metal. It cuts things.
Now, we here at Bellweather Fashions don't normally traffic in weapons. For one, they're rude. And for two, they simply don't sell as well as classic plate or cloth goods. But, having come into a shipment recently, we thought what the heck, let's pass these to our clients, and see what they think. So without further ado, our latest offering of implements designed solely for stabbing, bludgeoning, frying, or otherwise exterminating your target.
BKP "Sparrow" Smallbore Rifle (http://us.battle.net/wow/en/item/3042)
1g 30s on the Horde Auction House
This elegant weapon is perfect for the hunter who wishes to not tip off his prey that they are about to unleash a storm of cosmic fury. Not that hunters value stealth, misdirection, and subtlety, really, the very IDEA...
Acrobatic Staff (http://us.battle.net/wow/en/item/3185)
3g 50s on the Horde Auction House
It's a stick. You hit things with it. if I need to explain this further, then perhaps you should not be playing with money, no? (In all fairness, it's a very highly polished stick, perfect for training martial arts with. That is, if such a thing as Martial Artists were to exist../cough cough)
Stone Hammer (http://us.battle.net/wow/en/item/15260)
3g on the Horde Auction House
A lovely piece, solid stone and heartwood, made for the discerning brute. This hammer is the ultimate in no-frills utility, combining elegant lines with excessive weight and nastiness. As an aded attraction, the simplicity results in high ease of clean-up for those particularly "wet" smashing sessions. Stows handily in your invisible pocket for day to day access.
Stonecutter Claymore (http://us.battle.net/wow/en/item/3197)
4g on the Horde Auction House
The piece de resistance. A superb example of a lost art, glimmering metal with a classic crossbar hilt. No excessive attachments, just a pure expression of essential swordcraft. This item simply shouts "I will cut you in half, and never look back". If a weapon could be considered "beautiful" then this one is. And at 4 gold, you cannot go wrong.
I do hope you enjoyed these offerings, and we will return soon with our usual shipments of fine cloth, leather, and wearable metals.
Bellweather of Bellweather Fashions
"A Simple Tailor"
Edited by Bellweather on 5/3/2012 2:36 PM PDT
