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Well, it’s done! Zandine called me to Silvermoon and inside the Rangers Lodge she handed me a letter signed by Halduron Brightwing. I have been reinstated as a full fledged Ranger!

I admit my surprise. I showed weakness, and allowed my despair to eat at my soul until there was nothing left. Zandine told me the Farstriders do not abandon their own, and that I am not the only one who has fallen to our own personal demons. The shame I have carried for so long is lessened somewhat by the knowledge that I am not the only Farstrider that fell astray after the Scourge ravaged Quel’Thalas. But it seems my supervisors will be keeping a careful eye on my actions still. I’m glad for that, the darkness that plagued me lasted only a brief moment in the life span of elven kind and I could easily relapse.

Zandine also handed me orders to the Outlands. To say I am excited about my mission is beyond an understatement! Oh, the things I shall see and do!

I wonder if I will ever get the chance to thank Shadow and Ratheron for finding me, for convincing me to join the Fellowship? Without them, I doubt being a Ranger again would have been possible. I don’t think I would’ve wanted it. These days I feel more and more like the person I was before the Scourge and once again my heart is remembering what it feels like to have comrades. People whose lives you care about and wish to protect.

Speaking of people I care about…I am concerned about Rhannah. I spoke with her not long ago. She is not her self with Rian gone. That troublesome monk has evaded every tracking technique I have employed to find him. Though I did set some traps around the Fellowships favourite haunts in Eversong. Maybe I should check those? Maybe I should put a few explosive traps up? It’s hard to hide when wounded…

I do hope she sent a letter to him as Jana suggested…After all Rian is hurting too. But being alone gives only perspective, it does not heal wounds of the heart and soul. This is something I know for certain.

The night I spoke to Rhannah I also met three other members of the Fellowship Mei, Mala and Symmane. Mala and Symmane seem to be a couple, they were working out some issues and I must confess I wasn’t listening too much. Mei seemed nice, also shy like me and very concerned about what her betters think of her. I do hope to see more of Mei around. Jana was there and Zakia as well. He has improved by leaps and bounds in his training. I must confess I am impressed by his increasing skill. Though there is something strange in his manner. Something I did not notice before, but caught a glimpse of during an interaction between him and Rhannah. I hope he is alright…Rhannah seemed concerned for him.

That reminds me! Leon. He is still missing too. I think I might go to Mulgore and see if I cannot locate any trace of him or this “Micah” guy. The Outlands can wait a few days, right?

Night had fallen, the darkness settling over the city, hushing the gleaming buildings so that everything murmured in muted tones. Even the wind whispered as it wound its way through the streets. Overhead the moon shone brightly, illuminating water within a fountain. The wind drifted by, caressing the water with a lover’s embrace and making ripples that glistened as if a thousand diamonds had been tossed into the fountain's reservoir.

A shadow fell over the fountain as a woman stopped to watch the display, dulling the glittering waters on one edge. The moonlight blanketed her body in soft silver light even as her shadow darkened the rippling waters of the fountain. She was dressed in dark leathers, two daggers resting comfortably at her hips and she appeared very much a creature that dwelled in darkness, something that seemed at odds with her illuminated visage. She herself would have thought nothing strange of it, she knew quite well that not everything that dwelled in darkness was evil.

She stood there quietly until somewhere the hour rang out, the brash tolling jarring her from her reverie. It was four in the morning. She turned with some reluctance and headed to the small apartment in the Bazaar where she was staying.

***

(New entry in a plain brown journal)

I spent last night at the training dummies, working on my fighting skills. Being able to fight in the darkness is crucial to my line of work as I use the cover of darkness to slip in and out, but I had forgotten how tricky it can be. Let us hope that I am not going to find myself having to use my martial skills—day or night—anytime soon.

On another note, I have been hired to track a missing shaman. He disappeared from Orgrimmar several weeks ago and now his family is worried. After everything that has happened of late—is happening now—I cannot blame them for their concern. Unfortunately, I do not hold out much hope that I will find this man alive, but I need the work—even if I think the news I will deliver will be bad. The problem is that wherever he ended up, he is well hidden. I have a few pieces of the puzzle, but not everything. I can only hope that once I figure out how the pieces I have fit together, that I will be able to figure out the next step. I have been given the name of someone in Silvermoon that may be able to help me and now am just waiting a time to contact him.

I should also take the time to see Nakaila, Kel, and Cy again. I often find myself being a hermit, pulled back in my own world and while there, it is easy to forget that I have friends. A conversation with a stranger the other night reminded me that I should reach out more to others. There are still days that I do not feel I would be pleasant company, but more and more, I find myself able to face the day without feeling as if I am about to fall apart. Healing is coming slowly and while the pain of loss may never go away, I can still go on.

Rhannah groaned as she moved in her sleep. Something hard was digging into her back and whatever she was lying on felt cold. She sat up slowly, stiff from sleeping on the ground and rubbed her eyes. The world around her came into focus and revealed that she was in a cave.

Where am I?The land beyond the cave mouth was a grassy plain and when she looked to the side, she saw what looked like a tall cliff in the middle of the plain. On top of the cliff, she could see the rough outline of some buildings. Thunder Bluff. So I'm in Mulgore. How did I get here?

At the entrance of the cave sat an undead woman with a fel imp by her side. Daenith, the undead warlock that was helping her improve her skills. Why is Dae here? What happened? Rhannah felt a mild panic as she thought of the implications of her teacher being with her. What did I do? What happened to me?

She moved to stand and felt a weight in the pocket of her leggings. She reached in to retrieve it. The weight turned out to be a letter. Rhannah read it and dropped it with a startled cry. She sank back to the floor of the cave and wrapped her arms around her knees, rocking as the tears started to flow.

The events of the previous day came back to her in a flood of emotion. How could she allow the darkness to take hold of her like that? She was stronger than that. She managed to fight it off before, on many occasions. Even the night that Micah betrayed her, she hadn't succumbed to the darkness so completely. She'd been able to pull herself back from the brink.

She groaned, ashamed of letting a moment of weakness allow her control to slip. How was she going to face the fellowship after outing herself as a warlock in such a public fashion? The young warlock stood slowly and made her way to the entrance of the cave, her mind still going over the events of the previous night. How she had managed to claw herself back and regain control she didn't know.

The struggle had felt like she had been trapped underwater and had to fight her way to the surface to breathe. The relief had been great, but the effort had left her exhausted. She was glad that Dae had found her and stayed with her during the night. The thought of the darkness taking advantage of her weakness to reassert itself had terrified her. Only the mental exhaustion caused by her struggle for control meant that she was able to get the sleep she desperately needed.

Even after a full night's sleep, she didn't feel fully rested. She could feel the darkness lurking behind her, waiting for its chance to take control again. There was no way she could let it. She had to fight its control.

Rhannah turned her thoughts inwards, her mind whirling as she tried to piece together what had gone so horribly wrong so quickly. All she could come up with was a compounding of factors. She sighed as she sat on the floor of the cave entrance. The men in her life all seemed determined to give her problems and not allow her to be happy with her life.

Her younger brother struggled with his own version of the darkness, and though she longed to share with him the ways she normally used to keep hers at bay, she couldn't. Warlocks faced a particular kind of darkness that no one else faced and what worked for her, wouldn't work for him. Besides, her techniques had failed her when she had needed them most. She had to question if there was something else she could do.

Her older brother, the one she should be turning to for comfort and strength, needed her help if he was return to his girlfriend in one piece. He had ignored all his training as a blood knight to go after the man who had once been a childhood playmate. The man that had betrayed her and shown himself to be her brother's truest enemy.

Finally her lover, the man that showed her what love really was, then left her because of some misguided idea that he wasn't good enough for her. Even thinking about it made her want to laugh. If anything, she wasn't good enough for him. The daughter of simple merchants who grew some of their produce and who followed the dark path of the warlock, was not someone that should even think about winning the heart of the son of the most successful winemakers in Quel'Thalas. But she had, or at least she thought she had.

She took a second letter out of her pocket and read it again, brushing away the tears. Why couldn't he understand that he was the one she wanted? That she didn't care if he was a monk or just a farmer?

Rhannah sighed and placed the letter back in her pocket, looking, once again at the first letter. That was the one that had set her off, that had allowed the darkness to take hold. It was written in the hand of her ex. On it was four simple sentences.

I have your brother bytch. If you ever want to see him alive again, meet me in Mulgore three days from now. Come alone. I'll be in the cave nearest Thunder Bluff.

Five months ago, I learned I was expecting a child.

Four months from now, we would be raising a strong Sin'dorei. I wanted a boy.

Two days ago, I stopped all form of work completely to rest myself. Varus felt our baby moving and we talked about potential names.

This afternoon, I woke up in pain. A pain that lasted for hours, that took all of my strength to hide behind a mask of calm.

Today, Astinos was born, a name that Varus had picked out. One of the first that I actually thought would be suitable for our little one. A son.

Today, Astinos passed away.

He didn't even stay with us for an hour.

Journal of Carinoth Duskweaver
Eastern Plaguelands, New Dawn.


What in the name of the Shadow's below this world just bloody happened?

Well, my uncle can no longer make those damnable virgin jokes to me anymore.
Over the years, I have doubted the very purpose of emotion's. Ever since uncle died, I have just....shut them off. But ever since I joined the Fellowship, I find them...coming back on. Fel, I seem to be more alive ever since I met Fyn.

Fyn.....within the darkness that is my life, she is the light within it. She has shown me that I can love another living being. I would stand proudly and say that I love her. When we embraced each other last night, it was the most wonderful thing to have ever happened to me. Though know that I think about Fade might have been looking at us in the shadow's.....well thats a mood killing thought.

Anyway, before all that Shadow and I talked about me constantly working. For weeks I have stayed up long nights subverting the Kor'kron forces in Pandaria. Putting explosives in the wrong places, having officers make fools of themselves, switching orders. The list just goes on...
Why I went on like this? I don't know.....maybe it made me feel as if I was actually doing something. But instead I am just weakening myself. If I continue like this, it will only lead me to ruin. So, for now I shall take a break. Maybe catch up on some reading?
Maybe Fyn would also like to partake in this break with me? I know I would love that.

It is not often that I return, and never for the sake of returning. I left Silvermoon City in rash haste the last time. I had things that I needed to pick up that could not be found at the local port. On my way, I heard Eve calling softly over the guildstone for a healer who might be available. Knowing I was hours yet from the city, I did not answer. When I arrived, I was greeted by Shadow, taking a stroll, who informed me that Eve would either be at the coast, where many of the Fellowship gather these days, or asleep. I opted to try the beach, as it wouldn't be wise to venture into the Lord's chambers to see if I was required.

And what did I find, but a group who appeared to be Rangers by majority. Though I remember seeing Jana in leathers with blades over a bow long long ago, I decided to be polite.

I do not handle people well.

I've no need to be a social butterfly. Nor do I warm people up or turn them to putty in my hands. I have been trained for years to be disciplined and strict. Both with myself and with others. What is expected and required of me, the respect given by force if nothing else, is something that I was taught that I deserved. I did not always listen, nor did I always require it as so many others did. Not in public.

The more that gathered, the more I was reminded of the sneer I would parade around Farstrider Square. The harsh words and the cold stares. The fact that I could get away with nigh murder because of my position and my title.

And that it was expected of me to do so.

They were not free spirits. I could not find any of them charming or easy to speak to. They were distant and kept to themselves. Because of my armor, my title, maybe they can sense that I am stiff and uncomfortable. I had very little to say to them, because I do not know what is required for me to say.

This is the first time that I have ever doubted in myself and my training. I need for this war to come to a head. Soon. I need for Dalen and I to be taken off of the front line. Soon. I need to put in my report to the Blood Knight order that I am starting a family. I am retiring when it happens. And that I don't give a damn what they think about the fact that I have picked a Ranger. Noble blood does not erase the fact that my image will be tarnished.

It won't fix anything. I will still question many things about myself and others. I will still be awkward because I do not open up to people on command. That may never change. But the fact remains that I continue to see problems that cause me to feel tired. I have always been a soldier. A daughter of the military lifestyle, and one who followed into it. A good fighter, from a Paladin of grace to a known mentor. A Blood Knight of dignity and presence.

Had I less faith in myself, I would question, just looking at people like that, if I am making a mistake. We are far too different. I am not outgoing, I am not overly friendly, I am not going to start song and dance around a campfire on a beach. I cannot even bring myself to settle in the sand with them because I know it would take hours to get it out of my armor. I would ask if someone more free-spirited wouldn't be better for him.

I may know the answers to these questions, well and truly. But after recent events, I can't help at ask myself anyway.

.

Badlands - on a god forsaken night!

Goblins, Fuselight. Hmm, better than the orcs in Stranglethorn. Not by much mind you, but better. They seem to be of a whole different game than everybody else. Greedy little boogers. I like the food well enough, as long as I don't look at it too long, or ask what's in it, it's sustanance.

I had me a real treat today playing with dragons and dragon hatchlings. My hair is all singed, I got dragon guts all over me, and I can smell their stinky scent all over me. I need a bath, and a good hair wash. And there ain't much water around these parts to clean up with. What is a woman to do? One whiff of me and Leon would hightail it so fast, I'll probably never see him again.

Speaking of which, I haven't seen or heard from him for quite awhile. I wonder if I was too much for his genteel senses to handle. I'm not a lady, I'll probably never be one. Not that I want to be, with their hoity-toity ways, and putting on airs. That ain't me.

But damn if I don't keep thinking about him, and that warm rich voice of his, and that smile that melts my very core. Oh, dear, I do believe I'm comng down with a case of the vapors! Ha ha ha. I think we could be a good thing for one another. If I soften up a little, and he unwinds a bit, I could see us making sweet music together. Though I couldn't carry a tune in a bucket if I had to, but then I'm not talking that kind of music either.

A woman has needs, and I needs him badly. I remember his arms around me, I liked that alot. And his lips upon mine, I really liked that. And I remember how he looked on the beach, and how I just wanted to tackle him right then and there. But I didn't, I held back, and I think I'll regret that for the rest of my life.

Leon either takes me as I am, or I'll just take him, and tie him up, and have my way with him. One way or the other. There's something about him that moves my heart...among other things, and I want to see him again.

Maybe I should send him a flower?

edited: spelling errors

Last night felt…odd. Perhaps I should start from the beginning of my scattered thoughts?

I stopped in Eversong; I have sometime to myself and figured I would relax a moment before searching Mulgore for this Micah guy. There has till been no word from Leon that I know of. While I do not know him well this troubles me deeply, he would not leave Rhannah and the others this long without telling them where he was.

At least I think he wouldn’t…but then what do I know of family?

I went to the beach our Fellowship frequents, checking some traps along the way. Rian wasn’t in any of them, but I did have to free a very disgruntled travelling sales man. I’ll admit, I have given up on him. Rian will return to us when he is ready, and for now I sense Leon is the one in real danger. Perhaps Rhannah too. This Micah sounds like he might need an arrow through his eye socket.

Jana was at the beach with Symanne and Seraphathir. Symanne took off not long after I arrived, he looked upset. He probably needed sometime alone. Kass and Zan showed up not long after as well. I asked Zan how Kye was, though it was not my place. Men. I am literally one of the most socially inept people you could hope to meet but even I can see that Kye is upset because she cares for him.

Unfortunately none of us seemed to be in a talkative mood this night. Seraphathir tried; I am not all that good at speaking, ever. I felt I was rude to her, she probably assumed it was because she is a Blood Knight. That had nothing to do with it. It was just strange how she kept writing things down. Is that normal? There was something about her movements and her demeanour that seemed false…but the Fellowship comes with many kinds of personalities so I should try to be nicer to her. Talk more? Because I am such a conversationalist? Ha!

I am now in Mulgore, if anything has happened to my friends I will find out…

Should ask Carinoth to come with? He might be more of a distraction than a help, but he seems to need to focus on other things for a time and I would like his company…

Kyetah danced her way into her room and giggled with glee. Her meeting with Ratheron had gone well. She was going to have her own guest house. Her mind whirled with the possibilities. The old inn at the Enclave just screamed out for some attention and she planned to bring it back to life.

She grabbed a notepad and pen and started to write a list of all the things she had to do. At the top of the list were three things. Clean out; Builders; Architect.

The old building needed a thorough clean out. There had been a lot of damage to the furniture and some of the walls done to it when the scourge had rampaged through the town. To her untrained eyes, it looked like the building was still sound structurally, but it would be impossible to tell until it was cleaned out and all the debris removed from the building.

Only then would it be possible to tell exactly how much work needed to be done. For that she needed a good builder, or possibly a structural engineer. Perhaps the architect, when she managed to find one would be able to recommend someone.

She thought about all the things that she could do with the old building. Providing it was still in good condition, it looked like there would be room for ten rooms upstairs and a small restaurant/eating area as well as a lounge area downstairs. There was a large fireplace in the main bar area that would be excellent as a focal point of the lounge and the bar would be great to have reopen, serving drinks to the guests. She had managed to get Ratheron to agree to letting her sell some of his brews in the restaurant and was excited to know that some of the finest brews in Azeroth would be served there.

The kitchen also had a large fireplace, and was large, with plenty of room for storage and people to work in. Kyetah frowned as she couldn't remember seeing a cauldron or any large cooking pot in the inn. Perhaps it had been stolen by the scourge to create the plague cauldron that remained in another part of the Enclave. If that was the case then she would need to get a new one.

She added chimney sweep and cauldron to the list.

The inn was also blessed with a large basement area that could be used for storage of foodstuffs and alcohol. She thought about leaving it as one large area, but thought that it was better to divide it so that the alcohol could be locked away.

The people of the fellowship were good, honourable people and she knew that none of them would try to steal any of the alcohol. However, she had seen many otherwise honourable, upstanding members of the community in Dalaran brought low when they were drunk. Some were so bad she had had to ban them from the bar and had hired a small army of guards to make sure everyone behaved themselves.

The word guards was added to the list under security and locksmith.

Zephyr fanned her face with his wings, forcing her to look up at him. She grinned and nodded. Kyetah placed the notebook in her bag and headed out the door to the beach. “Come on, let's go tell everyone the good news.”

Kyetah smiled as she landed in front of the inn and sent her black cloud serpent to play in the air currents. It was finally hers! She was so excited. She placed the bucket of cleaning supplies she had brought with her on the ground and looked at the building in front of her. She had a big job in front of her.

First thing for her to do was to clean out all the rubbish and rubble. She pulled some thick leather gloves, a pair of goggles and a mask to place over her face and filter out some of the dust, out of the bucket. She put them on and entered the building. Dust flew away from her feet with each step she took. She lit some candles and placed them on the railing, their light helping to dispel some of the gloom from the room.

Kyetah got to work, dragging the broken furniture outside, creating a pile next to the building for her to go through later. She preferred to reuse as much as she could. It would save her money in materials and she liked the idea of using the original materials in the inn to retain some of its character.

The work was hard, long and tiring, but after a few hours she was pleased with her efforts. She placed her cleaning equipment and made her way to a nearby dock for a swim and a chance to clean off the dirt and grime.

When she got there, the dock was occupied. She made her way to the water's edge, washed her hands and face then joined the young man on the dock. She smiled at him and gradually got him to talk about something that seemed to be bothering him.

It hurt her to see him aching over a problem that he felt he couldn't share with his family. She didn't ask what it was, figuring he'd tell her if he wanted. The young man, a ranger named Zakia told her of how close he was to her family and how he was terrified of losing their love.

She managed to help him see that his fears were groundless and was pleased to him smile. Kyetah whistled for her cloud serpent and took to the skies, thinking about the family she hadn't seen since she was a child.

My Journal,

I heard my name called over the guildstone, and I answered my love's call. I found him in the hospital, My Kreindis had been burned by his own cousin, Aenaril. A fire mage with a temper. Oh really, how cliche'. Aenaril has picked on the wrong man to let his fires light upon, not my man.

Already I can feel the fires within me seeking to burn his flesh, and watch him writhe in true fires from the Fel and Nether. He does not yet know what awaits him when I shall find him. He best be on his guard. So, help me, he will rue the day he hurt someone I love and care about dearly.

Alas, I must stay my hand. Krei does not want my wrath loosed upon this mage. And I try to understand such things as a man's honor, and such. I hold him in my arms as best as I can without injury to his burns. And Krei's kisses cool my anger and vengeful heart. I wept upon his shoulder, and he quieted me.

My Kreindis, my darling. I love you, I love you with all my heart.

P.S.

Krei leaves shortly for Pandaria, and while I will miss him dearly, I will have a little talk with his cousin, Aenaril...yes, a talk, that's all it will be.

I promised...

edited: for spelling, grammar, and proper name spelling

It was the middle of the night, Cyaer could feel the coolness of the ocean drift into their home, and across the bed Kel'tira and he shared. He pulled the blanket gently over his wife as she slept beside him. She moaned softly, and sought the warmth of his body, and snuggled close to him.

He smiled warmly as his hand softly moved over the contours of her pregnant body. She was beautiful, she always had been, but now after talking with her, she seemed even moreso. She had told him that it was definitely a son and a daughter. And he had felt a rush of emotion flow through him that threatened to overwhelm him, as he placed his hand where they were growing within her. Her skin was warm, and he laid his head delicately upon her stomach, to be closer to his future.

Kel's fingers had combed through his hair as he lay there, quietly talking to them, greeting and telling them that their mother and father were so looking forward to them. He whispered to his wife how much he loved her, and she replied the same.

They had gone to bed, with her snuggled close, and his arms around her. And as she softly snored, he found light tears in his eyes. He was deliriously happy, and so very blessed. He loved his wife like there was no tomorrow, and had only eyes for her. And he would have a son, and another beautiful little girl. He knew she would be beautiful, for Kel was her mother.

They discussed names, and he asked Kel'tira what her father's name had been; so now was the name of their son. In tribute and memory of the former head of House Sunblaze. And Cy nodded quietly, knowing it was a good decision.

His strong arm went around her, and his fingers lightly stroked her warm soft skin. He could never get enough of her, and never tell her enough of how much he loved her and needed her. She was and always would be the most important person in his life. Cy leaned down and kissed her forehead. His eyes closed with his lips against her brow, and he fell asleep that way.

From the Journal of Zakia Sunblade

Thursday

Anger, it is the only emotion I feel this night, no fear, no doubt, just pure and vengeful anger. I know that I should be calm, and collected, but how can I be after what I just discovered. It seems my sisters ex- fiance, Micah Jorel Lightblade, doesn't know when to leave our family alone. When he and Rhan were together, I wanted to gut him for the way he treated her, but Rhan always talked me out of it. Maybe if I had went against her wishes just that once we wouldn't be in this current situation, but hindsight is always perfect, and there is no use dwelling on what could have been. It was bad enough that Micah hurt my sister, but now he has gone and captured Leon, and done who knows what to him.

I may not like my brother's high, and mighty attitude, but he is still my brother, and I would die to protect him, or to save him, I still love him even despite our differences. Leon was a fool to go after Micah alone, though not strong physically he has always been a smart one, how he managed to capture Leon I don't know. Still Micah made a mistake, he forgot about me, and I am much more dangerous than my brother Leon isn't a violent man by nature, but I on the other hand wouldn't think twice to remove anyone's head from their shoulders, if they hurt my family.

Yes, I want to go right now and hunt the bastard down, but Leon's life could hang in the balance, and if I show up looking for him, he may kill my brother. No for now it is best to play by his rules, until an opportunity presents itself, the problem is as I write this I can feel that other me itching to come out, and ot kill. Not just Micah, but anyone who may be in it's path, and I am afraid that includes Rhan, and Leon. I pray that the love for my family, and my desire to protect them will be enough to keep this other personality at bay, as Master Stormfury believed it would. I just pray to whatever gods may be listening that he was right, soon Micah, soon you will pay for everything you have put my family through, and may the gods have mercy on your soul.

Rhannah rolled over in the bed and smiled at the sleeping man beside her. She reached out and brushed a strand of hair out of his eyes. How she had been lucky enough to find someone like him was beyond her understanding. Perhaps the fates had decided she'd been through enough and decided to reward her. She kissed his lips softly and climbed out of the bed.

She reached into her bag and drew out a her journal and a pen, placing them on the table while she got herself a cup of tea. She sat at the table and opened the journal, reading over the last few entries. The pain and loneliness she had been feeling came flooding back to her and she had to pinch herself as a reminder that those times were past. She turned to a blank page and lifted her pen to write.

Am I dreaming? I don't think so. I hope not. If I am, I never want to wake up. Rian has come back to me and all it took was for Micah to show up and try to kill me. If I had known that that was what it would take, I would have set it up myself. But I’m getting ahead of the story I guess.

About a week ago, Leon was visiting me when I found a letter in my mailbox. It was from Micah. How he found me I don't know. What the letter contained, I don't remember. I burnt it. Leon saw the letter and snatched it out of my hands. He read it, then threw the letter down on the table and raced out the door.

I should have known then what he would do. Micah was the only person I ever knew that could get Leon truly angry. Not even Zak could incite the levels of anger in Leon that Micah could. My brothers would fight and bicker about almost anything, but on one thing they were united. Both Leon and Zak hated Micah. So many times I had to talk them out of killing him. If I had known then, what I know now, I would have let them.

Leon went after Micah. I tracked him, with the help of Fyn and Jana to Undercity before we lost the trail. It looked hopeless. From Undercity, he could have gone anywhere. Fyn promised to keep searching for him. While the search for Leon was going on, I did my best to keep busy. It wasn't easy to do. Oh, I had plenty of work to do, my herbs made sure of that. But at night, I worried. It wouldn't have been as bad if I hadn't also worried about Zak and missed Rian.

About three days ago, I got a second letter from Micah. He had captured Leon and wanted me to meet him in Mulgore. What happened when I got that letter is something I’ve already written about in an earlier journal entry.

I carried that burden for two days before I could carry it no more. I contacted Zak and told him what had happened. It was a struggle to hold him back. He wanted to rush in and kill Micah that minute, but I managed to convince him not to.

The next morning, that would be yesterday, I made my way to the cave that Micah had mentioned, Zak beside me, using the shadows to shield him from from Micah's sight. As I approached, I saw Fyn. She had managed to track Leon to the cave. I got closer and could see inside the cave. Leon was crumpled in a heap near the entrance and Micah was standing further back.

However did I love that man? Did I ever love him? I once thought he was so wonderful, that I was lucky to have found a guy like him. Not any longer. His voice made my skin crawl and I could feel my darker urges trying to gain control. How I wanted to burn that smirk off his face! I looked behind me to see where Fyn had positioned herself and was pleased to see more than just her there.

Two paladins from the fellowship had joined her. Jen'Tira, the girl who has brought a smile to Leon's face and a spring to his step and Kel'Tira, a member of the fellowship who was also close to the leaders. I was so glad to see them both. I knew that Jen would look after Leon if he was hurt, and the look in her eyes that I caught a glimpse of promised there would be hell to pay if Leon was seriously injured. I was worried about Kel being there. She was heavily pregnant with twins. I was glad she was there though, if anyone could keep everyone in check it was Kel.

The biggest surprise though was that Rian was there. I knew he was there before I saw him. It was like that night on the beach had connected us in more ways than one and I could sense his presence. Knowing that my friends were there gave me the courage I needed to face Micah.

Micah dragged Leon to his feet and shoved him out the cave entrance. He pushed so hard that Leon practically fell at Jen's feet. Micah grabbed me and held me close to him with a knife at my throat. I was so scared. It was even worse when he told everyone that I was a warlock! I could barely look at their faces for fear of the disgust that I thought I would find. I didn't find it. I only saw the same caring and friendship in their eyes.

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I guess I must have zoned out for a time because the next thing I remember was being shoved forward and Micah turning to attack Rian. I moved out of the way and stood back to watch, terrified. I had never seen that look on Rian's face. It was like he wanted to tear Micah apart! I had never seen such ferocity in him and it made me love him even more.

Time passed in a blur and when it had settled, Micah lay dead at Rian's feet. I was so happy to see that he was unhurt. I wasn't unhurt however. I had some burns burns that felt all too familiar. It seemed I had tried to cast a fire spell at Micah only to have the mongrel reflect it back on to me. The pain didn't last long though. A few minutes after it started, I felt the flow of healing energies over my wounds.

I can't say much of what happened after that, I didn't really pay attention. All I cared about was that Rian had come when I needed him most and that he loved me. Everything else barely registered.

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From the Journal of Zakia Sunblade

Saturday

The handwriting begins sloppy, as though written by a trembling hand.

It is getting worse, at first I though Master Stormfury's advice would be enough for me to keep this other me at bay, but it seems I was wrong. Perhaps I should start from the beginning, two days ago I received a letter from Rhan, it was a surprise to say the least, she had never contacted me when she knew I was on duty. I already covered what was discussed in our meeting, in my last jounral entry, so I will not waste time explaining it again. Yesterday was the day when everything was to be settled, I met Rhan outside the cave where Micah supposedly was holding Leon. Using the shadows I concealed myself from that hated man, and it was extremely difficult for me to not just rush in there and gut him, and cut him into tiny pieces. I let the situation play out as Rhan had requested, when Micah then took Rhan hostage, I moved in behind him ready to shove my dagger into his back.

Oh, how I wanted to, and then to cut him into little pieces, and feed those pieces to the lowliest creatures of Azeroth, but I was beaten to the pleasure, by Riandron. I had heard rumors, that this monk had won my sister's heart, and I will not lie that thought pains me, I do not want to lose my sister to anyone, but I love her too much to not let her be happy. After all was said, and done Micah lay dead, and both Rhan, and Rian were injured, the events after that are nothing, but blackness. I cannot remember what I did, or where I was, it was only thanks to Fynnariel, one of the few friends I have made in the Fellowship, that I know what I did.

According to her I desecrated Micah's corpse, I stabbed it, I kicked it, and I spat on it, all those things are unlike me, things I would never think of doing. However, it was what she told me I did next that scares me the most, Fyn told me I almost gleefully set fire to Micah's corpse, and then stared at the fire for quite awhile, as though entranced by the sight, and the smell of burning flesh. I knew then that the other me had taken over, but to such a degree as to where I don't remember what my body did, that has never happened before. Is it because I spent too long away from the battlefield, is the bloodshed, and smell of death the only thing that keeps it dormant, I do not have the answer. Fyn tried to get me to speak on the subject, and I was on the verge of doing so, when Daenith showed up, I had seen, and heard of the Forsaken warlock from Rhan, but her appearance there sent me running back to Thunder Bluff.

I fled to the nearest inn, holding my knees to my chest, acting like a frightened child, it was like this that Fyn found me again. She is a great friend to have, and someone I find it easy to talk to, she coaxed everything out of me, and there was no judgement in her eyes, only compassion, and understanding. I had intended to return to Northrend, but Fyn, "convinced" me to follow Rhan's advice, and seek aid from the monks in Orgrimmar. After our talk I immediately left Thunder Bluff for Orgrimmar, yes it was indeed time to see if the monks could help me.

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It wasn't hard to locate them, but I wasn't prepared for just how intimidating they were, I fear no man, but these monks are different, they have an air about them, that promises swift pain should you cross them. I sought out their leader Ji Firepaw, and was graciously granted an audience with him, I explained to him my concerns, and he simply nodded, and told me he could sense the darkness in my heart. It was frightening to think that he knew even before I told him, but I pleaded with him to help me, what he told me was not comforting. He told me all that he could do for me was to teach me some meditation techniques to keep the darkness at bay, but even those may not be enough, to quell it completely. I told him I was willing to try anything, and he nodded, and beckoned me to follow him, he spent the next few hours teaching me the proper form, and mindset for the meditation.

He told me later that for a rogue I picked up on the techniques remarkably quickly, after we had finished I asked him if there was anyone I could find on Pandaria that may be able to help me rid myself of this darkness. He closed his eyes in thought for a moment before simply saying the name, "Du'long Firebrew." Apparently this Du'long is a master of helping peopel like me rid themselves of their darkness, teaching them how to, "Overcome their burdens," is how Master Firepaw put it. I didn't know what that meant, but I thanked him for his help and returned to Northrend, for now it seems I will have to keep this other personality at bay however I can, whether through the techniques Master Firepaw taught me, or through battle, and bloodshed. I can only hope that when I get to Pandaria, I will be able to find this Du'long Firebrew, and that he can help me, "Overcome my burdens."

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From the Journal of Zakia Sunblade

Sunday

Content, relaxed, and in what seems like an eternity, not scared for the future. I have many people to thank for this contentment, my sister, who continued to love me after I told her about my problem, and the members of the Fellowship. Two in particular have been of great help to me, the first is Fynnariel, one could find no greater friend in all of Azeroth. It was she who came and found me after I fled from the scene of Micah's death, she who gave me comfort, and she who convinced me it was time to seek help. Yes Fyn is a great friend to have, and Carinoth is lucky to have her.

Even more than Fyn however, is my newest companion in the Fellowship, without whose help, and guidance, I may never have told Rhannah anything. Her name is Kyetah, though she prefers to be called Kye, I must admit calling people by their nicknames, is strange to me. I have always been the stalwart soldier, a man sent out to fight, and to kill, the concept of having fun, and being relaxed the furthest thing from my mind. However, something about Kye allows me to loosen up, I do not know what it is, I can be myself around her, something only Rhan has been able to let me do. Around everyone else I am withdrawn, and cold, and on guard, so why is Kye so much different. Admittedly Fyn incites a similar relaxedness, but why, what is it about these two that makes me act so differently.

An example can be made of last night, taking a leave of absence from my duties in Northrend, to ensure Rhan was completely safe, I decided to calm my nerves with a little fishing in Eversong Woods. I had gone to the beach, near one of the many spires in the area, it is generally quiet, and peaceful there. No one ever goes there, but last night was a different story, no sooner had I begun my fishing, than a voice startled me ou tof my concentration. It was Kye, this was not the first time we had run into each other while I was fishing, apparently I seem to keep being around when she wants to enjoy a swim. Being a gentleman I offered to leave to let her swim, but she insisted I stay, and that she would wear a tabard over her bathing suit to mak eme more comfortable.

I found myself agreeing, why I still do not know, she urged me to swim as well, but I didn't see the point, I could tell she was disappointed, and I didn't know why, surely she did not need someone to swim with her to enjoy it. Soon enough we were joined by Fyn, who had also come to the beach to swim, at that point I had two women urging me to join them for a swim, and I felt my cheeks flush, which is also a strange occurrence for me, I do not get embarrassed. They spoke about how I needed to loosen up, and to have fun once in awhile, but fun to me has always been testing my skills against strong opponents, but I knew they meant the swimming. It was strange, at one point I found myself debating the offer, unfortunately Kye returned to the beach, I suppose to keep me company, before I could make a decision.

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She built a fire, and the three of us sat around, and talked about many things, the war, ourselves, and I drifted the conversation towards the subject of, "fun." What was the point, it didn't help you improve your skills, it was just mind numbing enjoyment with no purpose. Apparently that is the point of having fun, to forget your troubles if even for a short time, and I admit talking with them did make me forget, forget about the darkness inside of me. After a time Fyn had to leave, leaving just myself, and Kye on the beach, something seemed to be troubling her so I inquired what it was. She is apparently fixing up an old inn at the Enclave, to turn it into a guest house, mainly for use by members of the Fellowship, but it would welcome anyone. I found myself offering to help her in her endeavor, and the offer was genuine, not just made to be polite, again a strange act on my part. I generally try to avoid menial labor, but for some reason I wanted to help her, whether because she helped me first, and I felt I owed her, or something else. I believe however it is the latter, I did not feel indebted to her, nor did she think I was either, so why, are these people slowly starting to change me.

If they are, I believe it is for the better, yes never before have I felt so content, and relaxed, I can feel my defensive walls crumbling slowly, and I find myself hoping that Ky, Fyn, and the rest of the Fellowship, will tear those walls completely down soon.

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