The night had been long, and though Zakia Sunblade had promised to stay with Kyetah through the night, he had to get up, and think. He waited until she had fallen asleep, before returning to the main room of the guest house. Things were growing more, and more complicated for the young rogue, he loved Kye, but what did he feel for Shade? Nothing made snese to him anymore, fate had once again thrown his heart into turmoil, he knew Shade needed a friend, someone to talk to. But because of his sister, and Hael that may have been ruined, they could not see that they were simply friends, were they that worried he was a typical sin'dorei, someone who would abandon his love to sleep around.
It hurt his heart everytime Shade insists she was not the right choice for him, that she wasn't good for anyone, he knew it was false, in his heart he knew. He had pictured what his life would have been like if he had picked Shade, definitely more exciting, but everytime he pictured it they were happy. He was happy with Kye now, but this was one what if he couldn't let go of, especially whenever Shade spoke poorly of herself. He sat down at a table, and pulled out his journal.
Why must life be so complicated, life, and love perhaps the two most complicated things this world has to offer. I hurt, my head, and heart are in turmoil, though I put on a brave face for everyone else, inside I am lost. The two women I care most for in this world, are both hurting, they both need my help, someone to listen to, and comfort them. The question is who do I choose, Kyetah, still struggles with the loss, of her brother, and little girl, while Shade struggles with everything the war took from her. Both need comfort, and someone to talk to, perhaps I can ask Kelden for help, though he has been alone for three years he was, and still is a good listener, giving equally good advice. The question is would Shade let him in, would Kye, in the end I may be the only one they both have, why is it so confusing, why do these thoughts, and daydreams of me, and Shade pop up now.
Is it because I am unsure of my choice, is it just my desire to help her, to make her smile, and be the old Shade again? I do not know, Kye, and I have not even taken our relationship to the level people would probably have expected by now. I know that is because of me, I am shy, and unsure of myself when it comes to love, and women, and yet I find myself again pulled between two of them. Could that be the problem, is somewhere in my mind a part of me that believes Kye doesn't love me as much as she says she does, simply because of 'that?' Maybe I am more like my people than I think, if that is the case, and if it is it sickens me to the core, I am different, I want to be different from my kin. There are days I wish I was not born sin'dorei, but that is my lot, and I must live with it, perhaps I should have followed Kelden's lead and left, so as not to continue being exposed to the debauchery of the majority of my people.
What do I do, Light, if you listen to everyone, even those that don't always believe you exist, then please help me now, before my mind, and heart broken.
It hurt his heart everytime Shade insists she was not the right choice for him, that she wasn't good for anyone, he knew it was false, in his heart he knew. He had pictured what his life would have been like if he had picked Shade, definitely more exciting, but everytime he pictured it they were happy. He was happy with Kye now, but this was one what if he couldn't let go of, especially whenever Shade spoke poorly of herself. He sat down at a table, and pulled out his journal.
Why must life be so complicated, life, and love perhaps the two most complicated things this world has to offer. I hurt, my head, and heart are in turmoil, though I put on a brave face for everyone else, inside I am lost. The two women I care most for in this world, are both hurting, they both need my help, someone to listen to, and comfort them. The question is who do I choose, Kyetah, still struggles with the loss, of her brother, and little girl, while Shade struggles with everything the war took from her. Both need comfort, and someone to talk to, perhaps I can ask Kelden for help, though he has been alone for three years he was, and still is a good listener, giving equally good advice. The question is would Shade let him in, would Kye, in the end I may be the only one they both have, why is it so confusing, why do these thoughts, and daydreams of me, and Shade pop up now.
Is it because I am unsure of my choice, is it just my desire to help her, to make her smile, and be the old Shade again? I do not know, Kye, and I have not even taken our relationship to the level people would probably have expected by now. I know that is because of me, I am shy, and unsure of myself when it comes to love, and women, and yet I find myself again pulled between two of them. Could that be the problem, is somewhere in my mind a part of me that believes Kye doesn't love me as much as she says she does, simply because of 'that?' Maybe I am more like my people than I think, if that is the case, and if it is it sickens me to the core, I am different, I want to be different from my kin. There are days I wish I was not born sin'dorei, but that is my lot, and I must live with it, perhaps I should have followed Kelden's lead and left, so as not to continue being exposed to the debauchery of the majority of my people.
What do I do, Light, if you listen to everyone, even those that don't always believe you exist, then please help me now, before my mind, and heart broken.