World of Warcraft®

Journal entry 4 - Grom'gol

A few things -

The repercussions of killing Tiny: a healthy respect of my fighting prowess, and a wide berth as far as where I went and what I did. Not that there is a hell of a lot to do here.

Some orc female came looking for me telling me I had killed her only means of support, no, he hadn't been her mate, he just took care of her for certain...benefits. I told her she could do better, and shooed her away. I didn't like the look in her eyes, but I'll face that bridge when I come to it.

Now I don't know if the only jobs they had available were sh*t jobs or not, but they got me away from this stink hole for a while each day, and paid fairly well. So I have fattened my purse a bit. Those freaking raptors can do plenty of damage to one's armor. I have begun to build a rapport with the local armorer. That and I let him have all the teeth and claws I pull off the scaley bastards out there.

One last thing, the nights are lonely here. I don't trust these orcs to really let my hair down with them, and I think having their respect is more important than being a flipping buddy to their whiney butts.

But the nights are long, and while I won't admit it to anyone out loud, I want and long for someone I can curl up with and have their arms around me. I know, it's me, but I desire someone to understand me, maybe even love me. Is that too much to ask for? Probably, who hugs a porcupine?

Focus Jen, get your head out of your butt, and focus. You don't need anyone, you will do just fine on your own. Stand tall, woman, they will respect you for being who you are.

Then explain the tears on my pillow.

From the pages of my journal:

Time seems to move so slowly as I await the birth of the twins. I am not anxious, but eager to greet them into this world.

I hold Kel'tira in my arms and can see the changes taking place with her. I am attentive and loving, doing whatever she requests to be done. I have heard rumors and I do not wish to feed them or such, merely to allay Kel'tira's worries, and anxiety.

I see the grin as I tell her she is still beautiful. She always will be, nothing can or will ever change that. For I do not just see the physical beauty of the woman I love, but the person within, and she is truly beautiful on all fronts.

I have been remiss in my duties to the Fellowship. Though how they expect us to search every mountain range on this planet is beyond my comprehension. Either someone is not saying everything they know, or they don't know enough. If one is to get intelligence on something, then by the Light, get information that's useful, not generalizations. That's just poor intelligence in my book.

Perhaps that is the way of it now. I will talk with Kel'tira and see where I might be able to search. Much like a proverbial needle in a haystack, if you ask me.

The darkness of the desert night was only relieved by a multitude of stars until the moon rose. Jana stepped carefully along the faint trail leading into the mountain from the beach. It was easy to do since it was mostly sand. Her shaded flashlight only helped her to find an occasional sign that someone used this path on a regular basis.

There was some kind of glow coming from the cliffs slightly above her. It flickered, which meant it was probably a torch. She grinned, a torch meant someone who needed light to see. Maybe it was an entrance to a cave...

She clicked off her flashlight as she made her way towards the light. The moon was enough to aid her without drawing attention to her movements. There was a tree and several bushes ahead, even some scraggly grass growing. That meant water somewhere close or they would not grow. As she came up to them she smelled the fragrance of apples. The tree had a few apples on it and she nodded, at least someone had thought to plant something useful at one time.

Just beyond the tree she saw it, the faint outline of a cave entrance and the torch looked like it was just around the corner inside. The entrance to the cave was high and wide. A lot larger than she imagined it to be. It was large enough to ride a mount into or roll a wagon. Though she did not see any wagon tracks. She wondered if it had been a mine of some kind. Knowing how rich the desert was in elementium she did not doubt it.

Patiently she sat behind the tree and waited and listened for any sound from within the cave. Sound would be magnified inside a cave that large, it would echo if it was large enough. Several hours went by and she did not hear anything from within the cave. Not even bats around to chase the insects. For once she was glad there were no scorpions here, or at least she did not see any.

The woman with the brown hair moved slowly through the house. Her fingers touched various objects, running over the surfaces, feeling textures, remembering through touch. Everything felt so familiar, yet it provided little comfort at the moment.

She finally settled at the desk where an open journal lay. Not many of the pages had writing in them, it had been bought not a week ago, as the others were in Cyaer's possession. This one she knew she would not fill. This was the end of something, even as she would use words to sort things out and should she decide to take up a pen again after her feet were back touching the ground, it would be in something new, a fresh start.

***
(New entry in a plain dark brown journal)

I spoke with Xalandir today. This was not news that I wanted him to bear; he should have let someone else speak the words, but that is not his character. He has taken so much on his shoulders that it is little wonder that he is so taciturn. Still, it is bitter: he should be happy and starting his new life.

Solorin is dead.

I had not seen him in a while, but that is nothing strange. He had duties that reached beyond me, but if I had known… if I had… (tears start dotting the page).

I would have gone with him… if I just had a glimpse… perhaps I could have stopped it, saved him…

She sat back in the chair and let the tears fall as she struggled to pull her thoughts back together.

I know that I am not the only person to lose a spouse; it is not something that I would wish on anyone. But I never expected that it would happen to me, not for a very long time. This just proves how unpredictable life can be. We had our ups and downs, but in the end we loved each other. I loved him.

I need to speak with Kel, let her know… and Ratheron… but right now all I want is to run. Move, shake out my thoughts through action. I have to leave this house—I will sort through Sol’s things later, after I have had the time to sort through and understand what has happened.

Tomorrow I will head out and figure out where to go next. I have to decide how to end this chapter, how to start anew.

***
She left the book open to allow the ink and tears splashed on the page to dry. She moved hesitantly towards the bed, waiting for a moment as her memory replayed a nightly ritual: Sol would slip into the bed first, making himself comfortable. She would follow, tucking herself in next to him.

Not anymore.

She crawled into the bed, curling up beneath the sheets and wept.

(( 1 of 4 ))

His preparations were complete. He wore all of his new gear, ready to begin. Eager to begin, even. Not too long ago, Kreindis had spotted the one person he knew about, other than Tislina... his brother Keyadrion. The one who had killed him, causing his friends, his former love, and everyone he knew much grief.

But now, he was ready to get back at him. He was armed with a new weapon - a large but still swift two-handed axe. He was used to his usual thin, runed katana, but he could do without. Kreindis double-checked he had all of his gear, which he did. He checked every one of the small bags he was bringing with himself, containing food, drink, the necessities.

"Great.." he said quietly to himself. "Now I just need to finish up anything else I need to do before I go... I might not be coming back..." He smirked. "But even if I don't come back, Keyadrion wont be going anywhere either..."

Then, he set his axe up against the wall of the room he was in, specifically one rented at Wayfarer's Rest, and left to finish anything he might need to do.

The clerk was kind. Her face showing an appropriate amount of empathy as the woman with the brown hair stuttered through the reason for her visit. The clerk had nodded, reaching over to pat the woman’s hand, speaking her condolences with a practiced conviction that she knew would offer little comfort to the grieving. With the rebellion, there had been many spouses and children moving to the office on leaden feet to report the death of loved ones.

The clerk pretended not to notice when the woman covered her mouth with her hand to hide the anguished expression that was creeping across her face as she watched the clerk write her husband’s name across a piece of paper, the elegant script somehow fitting for the somber task. The woman held her ground, though, not falling to tears although it was evident that she had been crying recently. As clerk wrote the date of reported death, she realized that the woman had simply waited until all the tears were gone and all that was left was a curious numbness before she came here.

An hour later, the notifications written and paperwork filed, the process requiring two other clerks to be visited, the woman left the building. Tomorrow, his death would be in the bans and she had no plans to be around when they went out.

She bought a cup of tea from a friendly vendor who had no idea that the woman’s life had come apart, and walked to a bench with her steaming cup. She sat down as a trembling took over her body, the toll of filing her husband’s death with the registry catching up to her. Now, it was real… not before when her brother-in-law had delivered the news and she found herself reeling in shock, or the strange emotional place that she had existed in for the two days following the news, but now she knew... he was not coming back.

Her eyes closed tightly. She didn’t even have a body to bury—it had been lost after it was recovered from the field. Misplaced, sent to the wrong place, stolen—she didn’t know, they didn’t have answers and while Xal had his theories, they were worse than the idea that someone had been careless enough to lose her husband’s body. The tombstone would rest over an empty grave and that made it even more bitter. She wanted to see him one last time, but that had been taken from her by circumstances she had no control over.

First her memories and now her husband…

She sat on the bench for a very long time. The tea, barely touched, grew cold as the shadows cast by the water fountain and the bench slowly lengthening, marking the sun’s path towards the horizon. She watched the shadows crawl across the cobblestone for a while, her thoughts pulling themselves together in some semblance of order.

She reached down into her bag and pulled out the journal she had purchased to bid the time until she could get the others back. Setting it on her lap, she began to write.

***
(New entry in a dark brown leather journal)

I told Kel and Cy today about Sol’s death, as well as another member of the Fellowship, a man by the name of Lineron. I did well in spite of my apprehension, I held together mostly, and once the words were out, once I could start breathing again, I found that it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Kel and Cy have been very good friends to me, both have lost spouses, both know what I am going through. While I do not wish to burden them with my own problems, knowing that I have someone to turn to for help is immeasurable.

I have notified Silvermoon of my husband’s death, by tomorrow it will be posted for all to see. Tonight I will go to the chapel in Hearthglen and light a candle for Sol. Tomorrow, I will return to Pandaria; go back to Binan Village and let the calm water of the lake and the serenity of the mountains ease my pain.

Kun Lai has seen its fair share of torment, and it is healing itself. Perhaps it is why this is one of my favorite places to be—it has endured and survived. I will survive, too.

Carinoth sits down in his room at the Tavern in the Mists thinking deeply on what transpired the previous day. 'This day....has got to one of the oddest days of my life...' He gave a slight laugh then pulled out a journal, the cover being emblazoned with a symbol of the Shadow's. He dabbed a quill in ink then began writing.

First Journal Entry
Tavern in the Mists
Pandaria

"So...today was...it was a very odd day. First off, I am finally heading over to Vashj'ir to scout it out in search of this 'Elysium'. But....on my way there I had to go to Stranglethorn. Stopped off in Hardwrench Hideaway to await transport...Rhannah was there. She always seems to be in the oddest of places whenever we meet, but anyway. She was at the peir conversing with some friends who she introduced me too. So some conversation goes by, I forget the details....but then I started growling. Which even now, is strange. Like really strange. Because I don't growl. Mother growls, Uncle hisses, I just....do nothing. That's how its been. Anyway, Rian started getting defensive...apparently he was attracted to her. Granted, I was too, but that is besides the point.

Moving on, I sort of...'admitted' my feelings to her. She obviously didn't feel the same thing. It was whimsical thinking on my part, small hopes of getting with a crush, nothing more. While we were talking though....she basicaly said that there are plenty of fish in the sea and also gestured toward this other women....Fynnariel. A huntress. Brown hair, beautiful green eyes. Before everything sort of...happened, we made idle small talk. She seems very intelligent, and obviously she knows her way around the world. But...what was weird happened after basicaly everyone left. We got to talking....I made a joke about Rhannah mentioning her then things got....really awkward. I will spare my uncle (who is surely reading this. Which reminds, uncle look behind you) the details, mostly because he will use them against me because I know he is that much of a bastard. But we parted ways...friends who want to be more...we will get to know each other more of course, before we make anything official...I think...I don't even know anymore. I'm confused and tired...but I am also happy. Which is something...I have not been for a long time.

Sincerely, Carinoth Duskweaver"

He smirks at the journal entry then closes the journal and slips into the bed of his room, leaving there with it closed.

Until his uncle's head peaks out into the room from the slightly ajar door. His steps are light and slow as he moves his way over to the desk and picks up the journal, and reading the most recent entry with a wicked smile on his face. Until he gets to the part where Carinoth told him to turn around and when he did he saw Carinoth's Shadow Spawn, Fade was standing right behind him and immediately throws him out the rooms window. Carinoth opens his eyes slightly and pets Fade on the top of his head, which he responds by growling happily. "Good boy. Now stand guard, to make sure he doesn't come back." Carinoth mumbles then turns over and falls back to sleep. Fade, nods towards his master then fades back into the shadow's hiding and making sure no more intruders interrupt his master well earned sleep.

The morning sun was bright as the paladin guardsmen escorted Rian out the door. His head pounded like a hammer through his skull. What the hell was he drinking last night? It tasted like horse pucky, not like he knew what that tasted like, but he imagined it to taste that bad. Clamping a hat over his head he pulled the brim down over his eyes and walked to the Inn. His room was till paid for another few days. He took a shower and dressed in clean clothes.

Downstairs he ordered some breakfast and drank about a gallon of juice. Finally he went back to the room and sat down to write in his Journal. Thoughts of the day spiraled in his mind as he remembered running into Rhannah in Silvermoon. Offering to join her as she headed to Grom'Gol. The sounds of the jungle and the few times they stopped to fight tigers and raptors. She was a competent fighter, he had no clue what the magic she used was, he imagined it was some kind of fire magic.

The Hardwrench Hideaway was a strange place to meet with so many of the Fellowship members. He was amazed at how friendly they were, well except for a couple. That shadowy priest, Carinoth. Why didn't he see that coming? Rhannah liked him, it must be the influence of the shadow magic, or something. Rian felt his guts churning. Was she playing both of them? He did not like to think of her as a manipulator, but weren't all women like that? Funny he did not see it in her eyes when she looked at him. But what did she say to that priest? Only a friend? She had called Rian a friend as well...what exactly is her definition of a friend?

He backed off, he remembered being hurt before by women's games. His brother Halorin brushed them off. "Don't let them catch you Bro! Just have fun and go your merry way." But Rian was not his brother, he was a monk, and he believed in balance. His emotions were controlled and he used them to keep his Chi in balance and to fight, to heal, to protect...yes to protect. His lessons with the Pandaren had taught him many things. The importance of fighting for something you believed in, like freedon, home and family.

In spite of the constant bickering and sibling rivalry, Rian loved his brother. He would defend Halorin and use his skills as a healer to help him if he were injured. Just as he knew Hal would fight for his brother and block the harm from him. It had not happened often, but Rian knew he could count on his brother to stand by him in times of trouble. He wrote in his Journal then, trying to make some sense of it all.

------------------------------------------

What does a fine woman like Rhannah see in a loser like me? Was I dreaming it all? The touch of her hand sends my heart pounding. Her eyes see into my very soul, how can she even think about this humble monk? What was it she said? I asked if she was a fel user and she said yes...what did that mean? I was confused. Was she a witch? A shadow mage?

Her brother called me a bum...yeah lying in a jail because I was drunk...she sure deserves better. Maybe I will just disappear...go far away and not come back. There is nothing here for me. No vineyard, no family except a brother who calls me a mouse.

That crazy woman, Jentira. She said Rhannah loved me! How can she know that? How can Rhannah love me? She don't even know me! What did she mean by that remark? "She said you brighten her day when you walk into the room."

Maybe...maybe I will stick around a while.

The sands of Uldum far away for now, Jana sat in her rented room in Winterspring. Her Journal open on the desk.

Nothing in all the caves we searched. Well maybe lots of yetis and furbolgs. Some nutcase human mage thinking he can channel the ice into Golems to make an army or something. Man he was so screwed up.

We found lots of owlbeasts and frost giants. Lots of ghosts and spirits. But no sign of an underground cave with a Tower in it. I have not heard anything from the others. I think each went off in a different direction. Kel'Tira needs to be more careful. Cyaer was beside himself with worry. She is carrying twins! I wonder if he thinks she is too fragile to fight anymore?

I have not seen any sign of a trail either besides the goblins and the Night elves with their saber cats. I do not think this Elysium is in this part of the world. I wonder about that cave I heard about in Mulgore? It's a small chance, but maybe I will mention it tomorrow to Ratheron. If he shows up, or speaks on the guildstone.

Today was the strangest day. It started out great. I was going to Hardwrench Hideaway, when I ran into Rian. How is it that someone can make even the greyest day seem brighter just by walking in the room?

Rian mentioned that he wanted to visit the Hideaway, having never been there. I did something I normally never do. Instead of flying from Grom'Gol after getting off the zeppelin, I rode there with Rian. It just felt the right thing to do, and it felt so right riding with him. Anyway a group of friends turned up and we spent the day talking and having a lot of fun. The whole time Rian was at my side and even put his arm around me!

I'm not sure I said much. I don't remember. All I remember was how good it felt to have Rian holding me. It felt like that was where I belonged. I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up.

Carinoth showed up, and while things were great for a while, he started to make a strange sort of growl. At first I dismissed it. I'd heard his uncle and his mother make similar noises and thought it might have been part of his family trait. But I noticed a strange pattern to when they growls were made. They only occurred when Rian had his arm around me or was standing close to me.

I dismissed it at first. I thought I was imagining things, that the emerging feelings I had for Rian were clouding my thoughts. But it kept gnawing at me and I knew I would have no peace until I had talked to Carinoth.

Big mistake. Carinoth was jealous. I talked to him and told him that I didn't think of him as anything but a friend. I hated saying it, but I could not call myself his friend and not tell him the truth. As I was leaving to find Rian and talk to him, I heard Carinoth talk with a huntress named Fynnariel. I had pointed her out to him while we were talking and I was glad to hear that he had at least gotten the nerve to talk to her. I hope they work out. I didn't want to crush Carinoth's dreams, but I couldn't let him go on hoping for a chance with me when he really didn't have one.

I was feeling crummy as I used the guild stone to contact Rian and asked him to meet me so that I could talk to him. He did, but just when the day couldn't have gotten worse, it did. Rian hates me! He thinks I was just playing games with him and stringing him along. Nothing I could say would change his mind. He even got some alcohol from somewhere and drank himself into a stupor. I couldn't stand seeing him do that to himself and left. I went to visit the faire, but couldn't stay long. There were just too many happy couples, laughing and playing games together.

I went home and locked myself in my room. I cried and cried. I don't really know why I was crying. I barely know Rian, why would I cry that badly over someone I barely know? While I was crying the only thing that I can remember thinking was Rian, I'm so sorry. I guess I must have said it out loud as I heard the door slam and Leon's steps as he strode away. I just hope he doesn't do anything stupid.

Rhannah closed her journal and tucked it back in her bag, her pen nestling beside it. In the morning she would return to her home in the Enclave. There was nothing keeping her in Silvermoon any more. Until then, her tears all dried up, there was nothing left to do but close her eyes and pray for sleep.

Journal entry 5 - Silvermoon City

Have I let my own petty jealousies and pride ruin something that might be beautiful for someone else? It's Riandron and Rhannah. She thinks or believes that she loves him. I was jealous, I had wanted him for myself, and told her he was bad news, that he would merely lead her on, use her, and leave her with nothing but pain and heartache. And she took my words to heart, and ran away.

I looked at him, laying there, drunk, and unconscious. And Light forgive me, I still wanted him. What is wrong with me? By the same token I called to the city watch to report Rian for public drunkedness and they took him away.

I escaped to the Darkmoon Faire, a minor distraction at best, but away from Rian, and try as I might, to run away from myself. Unfortunately, I was assaulted by an idiot that found me so desireable. And when another man came up and introduced himself, I told him to booger off. I was angry with the fool, and took it out on the other. Jen, Jen, Jen.

There was an announcement for the concert, so I walked there. As I sat down I found myself in ear shot distance of the two I thought I had gotten away from. The fool turned out to be Rian's brother. A player if ever I saw one. The handsome one with the deep voice, and beautiful eyes turned out to be Rhannah's brother.

I tried to listen discreetly, and learned a few things about Rian...he's not the man I thought he was, and I felt a pang of guilt as I learned just how much Rhannah cared for Rian. I had been a silly fool, and I wished to make it right, so I talked to Leon, her brother.

Hal kept hounding me, but when he brushed his hand across my *ss, that was it, I pushed him hard and sent him flying into the dirt. And I talked with that dreamy Leon and asked him to tell Rhannah I wished to talk to her.

I went to the jail to try to talk some sense into Rian's head, and found Leon there too. I had a hard time finding my voice, as I watched him talk to Rian. Leon has a rich deep voice, one I could get used to listening to, but I talked to Rian. I think he was too drunk to understand what I tried to tell him, but I tried, and turned to leave.

Leon followed me. He was concerned for my safety, and wanted to walk me home. I told him I could take care of myself and left. I think I kicked myself several times going home...I overheard some of his story. How I wished I could find a man like him...he's nearly perfect...

I have purchased a large black journal. My love tells me that the members keep a running journal of their adventures and quests, so I shall also. Where do I begin? Perhaps the beginning?

I was still in Stranglethorn. I had found a few lucrative jobs, and I liked the sunshine and warm sea air. I ran into Rhannah, that silly goblin's friend, and her latest boy toy, some tool called Riandron,or whatever. His eyes got big, and I think I actually frightened him. I tend to come on strong sometimes when I see something I liked...well I used to until Krei came along.

He joined us for drinks, and asked me to take a walk with him. We had only been flirting with each other for about an hour, so I nodded, and we walked out to the end of the pier located there. We sat and made small talk as we watched the sunset. He was, or is, so different from other men I have met.

Kreindis is a paladin of the Light, yet I sensed a gentleness, and a calm within him that melted something within me. We talked of our lives and the loves lost. He had been hurt by a lover that he thought he could trust when he returned from service. My heart went out to him, I knew the same kind of pain in my past also.

I held tight to his arm, something within me wanted to be close to him, to hold onto him. And when I looked into his emerald green eyes I saw a man that was a kindred spirit to one such as myself. Then he leaned down and kissed me.

My heart beat faster, and I felt a warmth come over me. And I kissed him back. His lips were tender and sensative, I wanted more. And when he told me he might love me too, well, there's a new girl in town, and she's in love with her handsome paladin. I so love to throw my arms around his neck and kiss him wildly, while he holds me around my waist and hips...he loves me, and I love him!

He invited me to join this fellowship he was in, and I hesitated. He knows me, but does not know what I am. And I decided to be honest with him, and told him I was a warlock. And it mattered not to him! I am a new recruit into the Rising Sun Fellowship!

He had to embark on another campaign, but I told him I would wait for him, and I shall, for as long as it takes...I will wait for you, Kreindis, my knight in shining armor.

Journal of Kreindis Dawnstride

This'll be the first journal that I've written in a long time... but I have a reason to write, now, as I didn't before.

Last night, I met three people, all very... interesting. One was more interesting than the others to me, and I will write more of her later. I met these three people at Hardwrench Hideaway, as I was stopping there for a quick drink, when I was called over to a table by a woman named Zyss, who was with two others: a woman named Rhannah, and a man named Riandron.

Zyss was flirting with me, I suppose I could say, and, as I was looking for a woman myself, I did the same back to her. Eventually, we excused ourselves from Riandron and Rhannah, and we ended up heading down to the pier together, and we sat at the edge together.

We talked for a bit about ourselves and loves lost, and it seems she has been through the same pain as me. At a point she asked me to take my gloves off so that she could hold my hand, rather than the mail covering it. Soon after that, she asked me if I would... hold her. And I did.

She snuggled up against me, and I wrapped my arms around her. It felt good to be close to someone again... it has been too long since I felt anothers touch. When she looked into my eyes a little later, I leaned down and kissed her... it felt good to do that too. I kissed her several times more throughout the night, and we ended up telling eachother that we loved eachother...

To think, that if I just wasn't thirsty at that time, I wouldn't be loving someone again right now...

Well, in any case, I have to see if I can find her again. I promised her I wouldn't be like the other men she had been tormented by, and just leave her. And I'm not the kind of person to break promises.

Back in New Dawn Fyn sprawled over a fallen tree, her arms and legs dangling over the sides lazily. The old Dragonhawk, Wings, floated near her head. At eye level, though the creature couldn’t make eye contact because Fyn’s forehead was pressed into the bark. “Strangest. Day. Ever.”

Wings chattered and chirped almost making a purring noise, trying to get her attention. Finally Fyn peeked up. “So I went to Stranglethorn to find a new companion for us right?”

If Dragonhawks had eyebrows one would’ve been arched…Wings was far too intelligent for his own good. Fyn continued. “Well I succeeded and failed all at the same time…”

Fynnariel’s journal lay open nearby, ink drying:

Today I went to Stranglethorn. I love jungles and figured I could find a new companion to add to my quickly growing family! Soon New Dawn will be overrun. Perhaps I should think about purchasing some land and making a nice little enclave for the animals. Anyway…

I ran into members of the Fellowship! There were quite a few Sin’dorei in that area. Riandron, Rhannah, Kreindis, Zyss, and Carinoth were the ones from the Fellowship.

Everyone was so easy to talk to! Well Rian and Rhannah anyway. Kreindis and Zyss seem nice, though I didn’t speak to them much. I did give Zyss my old fishing rod. I do hope she makes good use of it!

Carinoth… After everyone left we had a strange encounter. I don’t know how I feel about him yet…though he is the first person I ever admitted my problems too. You’d think he would’ve run in the other direction. We even hugged…if you could call it a hug. That was awkward…generally I don’t touch people. I don’t think Carinoth does either.

I’ve never been THAT kind of woman…the one that needs to fall in love…that needs to be with others.

He is rather interesting though…and handsome…and…Fel…what am I thinking?

How is it possible to be this happy, irritated and confused all at the same time?

Rhannah sat down at her desk, a big smile on her face and opened her journal.

What a difference a day makes! Last night I couldn't stop crying. Tonight I can't stop grinning!

There are days when I love my brother a great deal. There are days when he annoys the crap out of me and I just want to knock him onto his butt. Then there are days like today, when I want to do both at the same time.

I left Silvermoon this morning, finally all cried out and feeling empty. The caravan crawled its usual slow pace towards Light's Hope Chapel and I had plenty of time to think on the journey. My thoughts were pretty dark. I was set to fry Rian alive the next time I saw him. But as we neared the chapel, my thoughts turned a different direction. I started to remember the glow of his hair in the sunlight, the green of his eyes, that little smile of his. I remembered how kind and sweet he was and felt my anger dissolve.

As soon as I arrived at Light's Hope Chapel, I went into the chapel and stood for a while. The calm aura of the chapel helped soothe my mind. I walked up to a small altar and lit some incense as I prayed a small prayer. Strange huh? A warlock praying to the light? Yeah, I can't really understand it either, but it just felt like the right thing to do.

Anyway. As I was finishing, I heard a voice behind me. Rian's voice. He told me about how Leon had paid him a visit and made him wake up to himself. Rian held out a flower to me. It was so sweet, I just couldn't stay angry at him. Especially when he was apologising for ever being stupid enough to believe that I would choose Carinoth over him! Could you imagine it? A warlock and a shadow priest? It would be a pretty strange combination.

I was finally able to get through to Rian that Carinoth never had a chance. That I knew who I wanted to be with the moment I saw Rian get on the zeppelin with me yesterday. He smiled that smile at me and my heart skipped a beat. His smiles have a way of lighting up his whole face so that although he was good looking before, it transforms him to downright handsome.

We spent the rest of the afternoon together and the best part, was he found some vines at the enclave that had managed to survive everything that the scourge had done to the land! The vines were only a short walk from my fields, so he can join me and the others in the enclave after all!

I was sad to see him leave only a short hour ago, but I know I'll see him again and I know he does care for me after all.

She put down her pen and turned to pick up her cat, stroking him gently and listening to him purr. "I know Mittens. I have to tell him, and soon. I'm just terrified of losing him all over again because of my calling." The cat batted at her nose with one of his paws, causing her to grin. "I know I'm being silly and I'll always have you. Come on, it's time to give you some food."

Silvermoon City

I had some errands to run in the city yesterday. I was preoccupied thinking of Kreindis, and how his touch excited me, and how I could fall deep into his kisses. When I awoke from my daydream I found myself outside of the training area.

I glanced over at the archers, and the various training dummies, when I recognized my Krei there. My heart skipped a beat, and I cried out to him as I came up to him. He seemed genuinely happy to see me, And I put my arms around him, and put my head against his chest. He was sweaty and smelled so masculine, I felt a flush come to my cheeks as I looked up into his rugged face, and I kissed him.

He told me he was in heavy training, and may not see me, but was willing to buy dinner when he had an evening to share with me. He still loves me, and I gave him a long lingering kiss to help him remember me while we are apart, and he held me in his arms before he had to leave.

I watched him go back into his barracks. However I was filled with a joy in knowing he still loved me. He's unlike anyone I have ever known, he's sweet, and gentle. And I can not help wondering if he is like that in intimate settings too.

Oh, my, has it suddenly gotten warm in here, or is it me?

Entry 6 - Grom'gol

That stupid freaking orc b*tch! She has no idea who the hell she is messing with. I'm going to give her one last chance, and she better freaking change her sh*tty atitude, or so help me they are going to be one less orc around here.

That's what I get for being nice, an effing shrunken head in my blankets. And I know it was her, I saw her laughing at me when I came storming out of my hammock. I was tempted then to slap that effing grin of her face, let me tell you! ARGH!!!

Relax, Jen, let it go, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out. Let me just lop her head off and be done with it. Freaking wench!

On another totally different frame of thought, Leon. Yeah, Leon. Now he can calm me down any day. I still can't get that warm rich voice out of my mind, and those dreamy eyes. I know he pines away for that other woman, and I can kind of respect him for that. But I cannot help wondering why? If what Hal said is true it's been 7 years! Move on, handsome. Move on over here to Jen, I'll help you forget her...I can only wish, and dream.

I'm killing trolls, tigers, panthers, and raptors. Damn, I'm a flipping one woman death squad out here. But it's paying well, and I'm earning a reputation out here for being able to get things done. Hopefully I can earn me a commission in the Horde military service. But we'll see.

I wonder how those strong arms of his would feel around me?

High in the mountains of Kun Lai, Rian sat and listened to the wisdom of his Pandaren teacher. Balance is key. Your emotions must be kept in check. Anger and hatred have no place in a fight, They make you weak and vulnerable, a way for your enemy to tear you apart and cause you to make mistakes. Keeping a clear goal in mind is better than scattering your thoughts.

Rian nodded, it made sense. In all his years of wandering, he had fought for survival mostly. Learning to use his Chi had been a revelation. It was inside of him all along! Learning to channel it to heal and also to fight was a glorious thing to him. The Pandaren was kind and offered the encouragement Rian needed to be strong.

Back in Silvermoon, he went to the Inn and collected his things. It was not much, the treasures he had collected from the ruins of the vineyard in the Ghostlands were meager. A worn journal his Grandad kept hidden in an old shed. It was filled with his old memories along with tidbits about growing grapes and tending the wine vats.

His mind drifted to the day before. Rhannah cared about him! He still found it hard to believe. She actually cared and did not mind when he put his arm around her, in fact she seemed to lean into him. As if she enjoyed it, could it be? Her words came back to haunt him, she liked him for who he was, he did not need fancy armor or lots of gold. But she had a secret, something dark...but he did not press the issue. If she trusted him enough to tell him he would guard her secret.

He could not imagine her being evil in any way shape or form. He had seen her using some form of magic, but it was nothing he was familiar with. Fire he could accept, she seemed to be a very competent fighter on her own. Something nagged at him however. She said she used fel magic. Fel was the stuff that you got from...demons! Suddenly it dawned on him! How could he have been so blind! That old undead woman had demons! And she used fel magic, she gloried in it, used it to burn things.

He sat by the fountain in Silvermoon and lost himself in thought. He looked around at the many people going about their lives in the grand city. Magic was everywhere, in the lights made by magic, in the constructs wandering the streets keeping order. There were warlocks here, he had even seen a few bold enough to keep a demon by their side in public.

But they were tolerated, used by the Regent to fight the Scourge remnants and the battles in Pandaria as well as on Kalimdor. He shuddered as he thought of the magic they used. It was too close to the mindless destruction of the Scourge for him. It made his skin crawl whenever he was around the Forsaken. It was only because of the orders of the Regent he even accepted them. His forays into Undercity always left him with a sour taste in his mouth. But they were not all bad. Some even evoked his pity. They did not choose this unlife, it was thrust on them by the necromancers, first from the Lich King and now from the Valkyrie under orders of Sylvannus.

His train of thought came full circle and he felt his heart sink, Rhannah must be a warlock of some kind. That was her secret? Why did she hide what she was? Did she feel shame or regret doing those things? Could she summon demons too?

From the pages of my journal:

Winterspring. Seems almost a contradiction in terms doesn't it Winter, Spring. Yet I was there a few days ago. The cold was invigorating to me, and I looked forward to spending a little time in the snow with Kel'tira. I wish to retract that last bit about Kel...she does not need to be here, not a bit.

Just as in winter, the cold can chill you to the bone. However it was another chill that went through me when Auxilia announced Solorin's death. I think a part of me died when she said those words. He had been a friend, I remember him stepping up to revenge my wife's [this has been scratched out] Karamia's murder.

And now, I will miss him. I remember a brief meal with him and his wife, they seemed happy, and I liked being there with them. And now he's gone. May the Light and the afterlife be good to you, my friend. And Auxi, I'm so sorry for your loss.

A small group of us searched the mountains in the Winterspring mountain ranges. Most ended up shallow caves with furbogs and a few yeti tribes. Though a few held some promise but came for naught.

But in a yeti cave complex, I lost my mind when I saw my prenant wife hurt by one of the man animals. And I went in and slew every one of them I could find. Young, old, it mattered not to me, they would all pay for what had occurred. I walked out of their caves covered in their blood, and not one iota pleased by my vengeance.

I should have left with Kel'tira then, but I didn't I stayed searching. She was tired, and felt weak...and I stayed. Light! What kind of man, what kind of husband, am I? I should have gone with her. I feel like I let her down, that I failed her somehow.

I knelt in the snow on a high mountain top, and let my tears freeze on my cheeks. Light, forgive me. Kel'tira, forgive me.

Silvermoon City - Stillwhisper Pond

I had a most enjoyable evening, I went fishing. Kriendis was right it really is easy to do, and I found I liked the peaceful meditative time. I had caught me almost a full string of fish, yes a full string! When a friend from the other night came along to fish too - Fynnariel!

She seems very quiet and shy, and has a rustic feel about her. However, she has a very lovely voice, I cannot help wonder how it would sound if she sang. Her voice has a sweet lilt to it that I find very easy on the ears. I like her, she is sweet in her own way.

She was curious about me and asked me several questions, some may have seemed personal to her, for I noticed she tended to ask very hesitantly. The most difficult one was telling her I was a warlock. But she didn't react at all the way I expected - with fear, loathing or hate. Instead, she accepted me for who I was, not for what I am.

I cannot help think if everyone within the Fellowship is like this, I will find myself blossoming into a different person. Kreindis was the first stage, as I have found someone that I can love, and loves me in return. And now finding a new friend like Fynn, gives me something I haven't had for some time...hope.

I have not felt that in a long time. I had built myself a wall, a persona that was nothing like me at all, but seemed to keep people at a distance. I had been hurt, severely, and was afraid to be myself. Now I'm coming out and away from that shell. How happy I am that I met Kreindis, Riandron, and Rhannah, and later Fynnariel and Carinoth in Stranglethorn. I want to be a friend to them all, as they allow me to be who and what I am.

Oh, and just a brief side note: Samrin. He said he was an officer of the guild, but he walked around in his underwear, boots, and a special helmet to protect himself from she-devils. I found it funny that her thought Fynn and I were she-devils.

So I actually let him see a real she-devil. I think he knows we are safe now. He had this beautiful serpent pet that seemed to get along with Fynn's Wings. Unfortunately I said something that embarassed me, and I had to leave. He's a fine specimen of a sindorei male, but my heart belongs to Krei.

Kreindis. The mere thought of his name brings me peace. I don't want to hang so much on his shoulders, but he has done so much for me since I met him. And I want to be the woman he wants, desires, and can love without reservation. I just pray he gives us the proper time to grow close and learn about each other.