World of Warcraft®

...Maybe you? Want 10k to buffer your way into raiding?

Here's the situation: I have a lot of gold that I'm probably not going to use in Cataclysm. Rather than let it sit around doing nothing, and maybe because I'm a little bored, I am proposing the following contest of wits...

The Stupid Joke Contest!

Yes, the stupid joke contest. I like them. Post 'em if you got 'em. Sunday night (midnight eastern time is the deadline), me and a buddy or two will read through this thread and pick whichever terrible joke makes us laugh the most. One person posts? Then one person wins. To the winner, 10,000 shiny gold coins. So bring out your best one-liners, puns, groaners and knee slappers. Bonus points if it's WoW related.

Monday, I will meet with you on the character you posted on in game and trade you ten large. If you can't make it Monday, I'll mail it. If the winner is horde, I'll trade to an alliance alt if you wish or we can work something else out (Does AAMS do money transactions?).

Aaaaaand...GO!

Small question. Is it 1 joke per person? And if so, what stops someone from using alts to post different ones?

Huh, didn't think about that. I don't really mind people posting more than one, as long as you don't post, like, 10 pages of them.

So, no limit then.

Garosh, in his first week of being Warchief, went and toured the Undercity insane asylum.

As he walked down the row, the patients snapped to attention and saluted "HAIL WARCHIEF!" one after another.
As Garosh came to the end of the row he found one Tauren standing there staring down at his hooves, Garosh was quite upset, he shouts "What's wrong with this one that he can't pay me my due respect!!"

The Tauren looks up and says, "Oh you mean me? Well see the thing is.. I work here, I'm not nuts like the rest of these idiots."

I can only assume those jokes being told so far aren't original, but are just infused with WoW references..but either way, I loved the window joke. XD

Excellent, and I crave more. In the spirit of solidarity, I will submit my own joke (and no, I won't consider my own entry for a winner).

Why does Snoop Dogg have an umbrella? Fo' drizzle.

Red text: I spell good.

Then you'll jump on your alt that no one knows about and boast that you made 10,000g from a joke and everyone will be amazed and think you actually parted with 10,000g!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>.>

I have no reason to do that. I made a ton of money selling darkmoon decks and saronite, and I haven't bought crap with it except the vendor mammoth and a hilt for a buddy. But if you want to be paranoid, feel free, just post a joke to go along with it.

And if you're curious, the only characters I really log onto are Baroh (That mage wearing the sexy T2 in Ironforge), Xarx, Arathan, and Kuhr when I need more bag space.

For your WoW related humor:

http://i197.photobucket.com/albums/aa286/xZAO99x/WoW/catanigh.jpg

And a wife joke!

Why do most men die before their wives? Because they want to.

Here's a good one I heard years ago, it stuck with me for some reason so here I am to share it with you.

A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so
they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked
to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought
the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down,
but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They
ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and
most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the
friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't
close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can
prevent florist friars.

I'm a sucker for puns too Druse!

In fact, I entered ten puns in a contest, and I thought I would win, but unfortunately, no pun in ten did

Here's a good one I heard years ago, it stuck with me for some reason so here I am to share it with you.

A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so
they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked
to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought
the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down,
but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They
ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and
most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the
friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't
close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can
prevent florist friars.

Colin Mochrie did a variation on that as a News story with Hugh Heffner (spelling?) on Whose Line once.

More the one? -rubs hands together mister burns like.- Exxxxxxlent.

How did the blonde die while ice fishing? A puck hit her in the head.

Two golfers are on the first Tee. The first one has spent several minutes lineing up his shot. His partner gets rather annoyed and simply demands his friend take his shot so they can get the game off to a rolling start. His friend tells him that his wife is on the balcony watching so he has to get this shot perfet, to which his friend replie, "cripes, you will never hit her from here."

Blonde invention 367: Peddle wheelchairs.

A woman announces to a friend that she is getting married for the fourth time. Her friend is thrilled for her but asks how her first husband died. Her friend tells her that he ate poisionous fish and died. Her friend thinks that is just terrible. So she asks how her second husband died. The new bride to be replies he ate poisionous fish and died to. The friend thinks this horrible. She asks how the third husband died to which the bridge replies he died of a broken neck. Concerned that her friends house may not be safe she asks how that happened to which the bride replies "He wouldn't eat the fish."

What did the blonde say when she saw cheerios? Neat...doughnut seeds!

Finally, A blonde crawls out of the wreak of her flipped over car A policeman seeing the flipped car rushes over to find out if the driver is allright. The blonde woman stands up and tells the officer.
"It was the most horrible thing. All I saw were trees! I swerved to the left and a tree was there! I swerved to the right and that same tree was right in front of me. I pulled hard to the right to avoid the tree and flipped my car!"
The policeman thinks on this a moment and tells her.
"Ma'am, there are only cornfields around here for twenty miles, maybe you should take down your air freshner the next time you drive."

Why did the mathematician name his dog "Cauchy"?

- Because he left a residue at every pole.

Jack and Jill are sitting in a tree,
K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
First comes love,
Then comes Cataclysm,
Then comes...

Two elephants jumped off a cliff.
Boom Boom.

An orc walked into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder; The bartender said " Hey, where'd you get that?" the parrot said " Durotar, they have them everywhere!"

I was in Stormwind the other day with my girlfriend and we got into an arguement, she claimed her friends told her I was some kind of pervert and she believed them, I told her "Drop it or I'm taking you back to the orphanage where I bought you"