World of Warcraft®

Hey! You! Yeah, I'm talkin ta you! Stop lookin around like some rubbernecker, what, ya want people ta think yer nutz?!

Ya wanna make some cash money? Some dough? Some semolians? Some smackers? Then GIT OVAH HERE! And lemme tell yas about Payload Incorporated!

Me, and a couple of my pals, we's new in town see, just over from the Tha Big Island (May it sink in pieces), and we figgers, HEY! New land, new Op-Or-Tune-Itties, ifyaknowwhatImean! SO we goes an' we starts this company, Payload Inc.. I mean HEY, anything with the word LOAD in the name, it's GOTTA be good, right?

SO yeah, what we does is, we sets up this company, starts small, gets the name out, and we thinks, any freakin DAY now, we gonna start rollin it in. Greenbacks, gold, gittin BIZ-ZZY.

But what we needs is more personnel see. We got management, we got a business plan, but we needs legwork. Dats where youse comes in Hot Stuff. We can offers ya a decent medical, dental, and four squares a day, plus all the fishmeat you can handle. And a fair wage ta boot. How, I ask ya, HOW can you go wrong?

And whatta we want from youse? What is Payload Inc. all about? Well, its real simple there honeybutt. You needs it, we does it. Don't matter who, or where, or how, we got your back, for a reasonable fee. Deliveries, negotiations, discreet removals, informational investigationation, catering, we does it all. And all YOU gotta do, is be da hands for our brains. That ain't so hard ta wrap yer ears around is it?

So COME ON allready! Sign up! Join up, and get ready for a life of ADVENTURE with Payload Inc! We got our minds on YOUR job. Just contact our CEO ChaChaa today, and become a company man!*

Albus Kinkiesnax
(Rogue Baker of Kezan. My bread makes ya rise!)

(Payload Inc. is not responsible for claims of unexpected explodinating, licentious behaviour, suggestive bread loaves, accidental limb removal, sudden and unpredictable dentistry, or other acts of Goblin, Troll, or Elf. All sales final. No refunds, no returns. Payload Inc. reserves the right to carry out contracts according to Payload Inc.'s company conditions, terms, and policies. Do not play on or around. Keep away from fire and high concentrations of Azsharite. Payment may be made in gold, gems, or Kajakola....)

* - Payload Inc. does not hire "men". We have a strict policy of no Humans, Dwarves, Night Elves, Worgen, Draenei, or Gnomes. If you are of the aforementioned races and still, for whatevah reason, wish to apply, please see one of our respecienation specialists beforehand. Tauren, Undead, and Orcs must fill out form 1033b (Subsection 12: What wuz you thinkin?) ahead of time before your application will be considered. Thanks you, drive through.

((I approve of this soooo hard!))

The Maggot Lord espied the notice on Orgrimmar's Hiring Board. He stopped to read it.

"They are ssscared of unexpected dentissstry, yesss? Asss the only certified Horde Combat Barber, we will bring them dentissstry, and to ssspare, yesss!"

Pulling out his assortment of exploding drills, automated hammers, and rusty sc#!**rs, he goes in search of goblin teeth.

Speakers strategically placed near each notification blare a looping message:

"Theah's all sortsa guilds, families, schools, an' whatnot out theah in Azeroth already. What'a they offah youse? Friendship, adventurin', I dunno, somebody ta lis'en ta yer damn feelin's?

We heah at Payload, Inc. ain't got time fah useless some like dat.

What do we offah? Name recognition. A chance ta be part'a somethin' big.

An' all tha Kaja'Cola ya kin drink. An' I'm talkin' fresh. Jus'-bottled. None'a dat salty stuff ya find washed up onna beach.

Join up now an' get a complemen'ary starter six-pack of Cola. It gives ya IDEAS! (TM)"

Wellllll, a girl's gotta keep an eye out for opportunities in these troubled times, and here's two in the same day! You guys is looking very nice, very nice, but so's dem AAMS folks, so how's a girl to make her mind up?! I hope it has something to do with signing bonuses, because right now I just don't know!

((This is the single best guild recruitment post I have ever seen. I also approve of this soooo hard.))

Loxxi! babeh! bubehleh! Hotpants! You little green dumpling of frosted ear sugah!

Come onnnn! Whaaat, are you kiddin me? The AAMS?! Seriously? Youse a Goblin Hotty! What you want with those old has-beens anyway? Diplomacy? HAH!

Babe, you an' me both know the only diplomacy what matters is tha kind what goes "KA-CHING" and lives in big bags in da bank. Get wit' da program toots! Payload Inc.™ is the new hotness! Innovation, adventure, getting to wear something other than white and gold! (Everyone know, it adds 15 pounds ....trufax babe! Just sayin')

You want a signin bonus? Show me ya resume babe, we'll have our people call your people (You DO got people, right?). But, just for now, I think we can come up wit' somethin for the meantimes. How about we discuss it over lunch? I know a nice little place in Orgrimmar, makes a mean pasty..er..PASTRY....

Yours in Frosting
A. Kinkiesnax

p.s. Whichever one a youse chumps been leaving little piles of teeth outside the office door, either knock it off, OR BRING US SOME WIT' REAL FILLINGS!

Hey, dis looks like a good ideah! I'd like tah join! So long as it involve makin' money, lots o' money! Well anyway, you let me know what I have to do ta get in, and we'll work somethin' out, Alright? Alright. Catcha latah!

Sweetie, pal, you say "diplomacy," but I'm still hearing "twice the market openings"! That's a kinda competitive advantage that makes a girl sit up and take notice, ya know? But hey! I'm open ta good offers. Keepin' my options open. Seeing who's talk and who's walk-away-casually-with-tha-monies! Lemme tell ya about my people.

Me and Timsi -- that's my main babe, sympatico and partnorita -- we go way back on this great soul-laundering racket. She prays and I pays, we borrows the soul, loans it through a coupla demons that just plain out EAT all that nasty sins and curses and other muckity-muck normal folks wanna get rid of, and they get it back in a couple months good as new. Side effects? Naaaaaah. Nothin' a certified Agent of the Invisible Hand (praise be to it) can't take care of, and that's where my main babe comes in! We were rakin' it in. The Big Rock sank 'fore I could finish taking over as Trade Princess, 'course, but I figure that still makes me a Trade Duchess, at least! The big green Warchief guy as good as said so.

Aaaaaanyway. That's my peoples! And some assistants and employees yadda yadda yadda, but me and my main babe Timsi, that's the brains of the operation. Are we looking to branch out? Like a strangler fig, baby. You want a coupla sharp operators with a proven credit history (heck, we got a couple each), you keep staring right where you are. Well -- a few inches higher, if you please. I'm still a woman scorned, honey; got the ex's heart in a jar on my desk to prove it.

So talk tasty to me! Tasty like the sweet, sweet bite of a real gold coin between your teeth. My teeth. You get the point!

Babe, Darlin, whattayaDOIN to me? What, you wanna se me bleed? My own green blood? Ya killin me here honey!

Sure sure, wit' dem AAMS chups, ya got "access" to the "alliance", but lemme tell ya somethin honey, if youse is a smart babe, and I know you is, then you gotta know where the moneys is at, an' dats WAR. And dem AAMS mooks? They ain't never dealin in none a that. Shoot, just read their own marketing copy eh?

You might see it as two markets, I see it as bein used by both sides, and either one could stab ya inna back at any time. At least we here in Payload know which side our toast is sprinkled on. Dat's not ta say we WON'T work with them non-horde types. Hey, we know whats up, even Biggie G talks to them sometimes, ya gotta do wat ya gotta do. We just charge extra, yannow?

Oh, an' one more thing. I did some checkin. Youse might just wanna go ask around Booty Bay an' see how them AAMS folks used ta treat us goblins. Just sayin.

But hey, your call babe. You wanna go with them oldschool types, dats yer choice. Myself, I'm gonna go talk a walk around Orgrimmar, maybe buy a few tasty little morsels, and hey, I hear Splintertrees is nice dis time a year. Maybe I'll go take a look for some investment opportunities. Either way, you have a real good day now. Just creamfilled and lovely....

Kindest Regards
A. Kinkiesnax

Oy!

Vat's a man gotta do to get some peace and qviet! Can't you meshugina kids see Zeidy's tryink to concentrate. I can't balance the books vith all this yellink!

And vere's my tea! BUBBE! VERE'S MY TEA. YOU KNOW I GET THE GAS IF I DON'T GET MY TEA!

Oy vey, vat's this voild comink to. A man can't get his qviet, and his vife forgets his tea!

BUBBE! I'VE GOT THE GAS NOW. TOO LATE FOR THE TEA. GET MY HEMORRHOID CREAM!

(( Oh lordy, the original recruitment post was amusing enough, but reading the entire thread was hilarious! You folks are fantastic at roleplaying goblins. XD I love it. ))

((Ok, there is no way I am not either rolling or sending over a goblin here now XD))

((
http://www.guildportal.com/Guild.aspx?GuildID=359382&TabID=3009617

It's dinky and I set it up eons ago, so ignore the thick layer of virtual dust. Resumes and jibbidy jabber go here. ))

Hey there, Alby baby. Long time no see, probably on account'a we've never met. Listen, I'm stuck outta town right now. Gotta few loose ends ta tie up here-- got mixed up in a little business venture, man named Fizzcoin says a few little odd jobs I's be rollin' in coin. Two weeks later and he's got me milkin' cows for 3 copper a bottle! Bamboozled! Got bubkis, babe!

But I ain't mad, 'cause I took all that milk I was supposed ta give 'em, shaved some copper inta it ta make it sparkle real nice like, and these sin-dor-e types are buyin' it up as a luxury bath oil. Some of the milk got a little chunky. Sellin' it as a face mask. They's "mens" loves it.

I'm gettin' off track here. Point is, when I'm goin' ta be in town in a week'a two and I'ma be in need of work-- and maybe a bit of a makeova. Fizzcoin's gotta be hearin' bout my little business venture by now. I know this Orc lady in Orgrimmar. Total meeskite, but works miracles! My aunt Vivian--that's right Miss December in Bikini Hotrod Gentleman's Magazine, usta be my uncle Vince before she got her.

Anyways, I might just be hittin' ya up when I make it back. Even if ya don't need more workers a girl can never know too many handsome soundin' business men.

XOXO

Mipzi Mineshock, Environmental Engineer and Public Relations

Careful there boid. Not all in Payload are.. *cough cough* gentlemen...

Listen hussie, if you want to hit up Payload for some contract work, send me a message via goblin post and we'll talk.

I want to be sure you got the goods. Heck, you may even qualify to join the Moxie May Kosmetic line of Payload Inc.

Until then,
Moxie May

Yes Woman of Payload Inc.
President and lead tester Moxie May Kosmetics

The only girl with the pink trike in town!