World of Warcraft®

((Cross posted from the SoE RP Community site, http://soe4rp.wordpress.com/2011/04/18/for-the-shy-players/))

A long time ago, I remember attending a weekly public event and spotting a player whose only interest seemed to be in lurking. She always stayed just within range of /say and a convenient corner or hallway to duck into in case someone pointed her out. On the occasions when someone did try to acknowledge her, she ignored them. While her behavior wasn’t necessarily suspicious, it was odd enough that it became a topic of conversation whenever she was spotted. Eventually I learned she was a friend of one of the attending roleplayers. Months later when we had a chance to talk, she explained that she had felt too shy to participate.

Shyness can be a huge obstacle when it comes to open roleplay. While I agree with the sentiment that “Roleplay is what you make of it,” not every player is outgoing or possesses the social skills to not only engage, but encourage others to roleplay with them.

Sometimes, people think that not knowing how to react in a social situation is shyness. While that is a trait that can go hand-in-hand, there is a difference between not knowing what to do versus having an actual mental and even physical reaction when dealing with e-strangers. It’s an embarrassing place to be, which is made worse when you’re told to just suck it up, or someone tries to put you at fault for not making roleplay “happen.”

Would you get more involved if you knew how to break the ice? Here are some suggestions:

1. Download a RP add on such as MRP or TRP2 (it’s a matter of personal preference). Look for other add on users and read their profiles. Is there a detail you can use in their character description – maybe a particular piece of jewelry, clothing, or even hair shade that catches your character’s eye? TRP2 users also have a “current status” – is the character particularly happy or upset?

A lot of roleplayers take pride in the descriptions they craft for these add ons, and it’s kind of a Big Deal to be approached by a stranger that incorporates that information. Some of the best random walk ups I’ve had with Nozz involved characters squeamishly asking if her clockwork parts hurt.

2. Sometimes simple is best. You might be surprised at how far a /nod will go.

3. Read over Kalico’s list of regular events (http://us.battle.net/wow/en/forum/topic/2228418866) and pick one. Events are a great way – but not the only way – of meeting other roleplayers.

4. When all else fails, think about how you would respond to a similar situation in real life and apply it in game.

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But what happens when you know what to do and the anxiety kicks in? What happens when you have your notes written down, you have a scenario played out in your mind, you get the response you wanted, and … you freeze up?

1. Before you turn off the power and fake a disconnect, take a deep breath and try to calm down.

2. Remind yourself that the other player is examining your character, not you. And that, my friends, is one of the Great Beautiful Truths of roleplaying … you can pretend. You can be the things you can’t in real life, including confident.

3. Believe it or not, the other player may be experiencing their own anxiety. How long did it take them to work up the nerve to pick you to interact with? Making that first move is scary, and I can’t think of very many people that like to be rejected. So again, take a deep breath and pretend you’re the character. If you can make it to this point, say what’s on your character’s mind. Take another deep breath and tell yourself you can do this. It gets easier over time, trust me.

4. I think the most important piece of advice I can give is this – don’t rush it. Generally you know when you’re having good and bad days. If you’re having a Bad Day, don’t force yourself into a roleplaying situation that you may regret later. If you signed up for an event, get in contact with the organizer and tell them you can’t make it.

So what’s the big deal about all of this?

For playing a MMORPG, I’ve come across a surprising number of people who suffer from one form of anxiety or another … including myself. Some people don’t understand just how nerve wracking it is when you’re faced with the prospect of dealing with others.

I didn’t start roleplaying in-game until I transferred to Sisters of Elune. I always forum roleplayed because I could take my time and craft something halfway presentable. I was intrigued by people who kept talking about how much fun they had in-game, but the idea of playing pretend live in front of e-strangers terrified me. What if I made a mistake? What if I did something that made me look stupid? I’ve known people to freeze up, I’ve known players that have faked disconnects because of anxiety and I used to do it, too. Sometimes the idea of logging into my heavy RP guild at the time made me physically ill because I was so anxious at the thought of possibly having to cope with interaction.

But you know what? Normal people get nervous, too. They make mistakes. A lot. Sometimes they make really bad, embarrassing ones. People forget little pieces of lore or roleplay etiquette, sometimes they forget which character they’re roleplaying. Sometimes, they’re caught in incriminating situations.

Want in on a secret? It’s not really a big deal. Honest. And if you do happen to be around people who blow it out of proportion, you’re better off finding better people to roleplay with.

In the end, if you’re shy but really wanting to get in on the action, take it slow and in manageable chunks. Practice with your friends. There are quite a few helpful and understanding players here on Sisters, and if you can work up the nerve to approach one of them, try it! I’ve actually had people ask if it would be okay to practice with me – it’s much more comfortable when you’re around people who understand what it’s like to panic. Keep at it, and one day you’ll look around and suddenly realize you’ve made friends with a lot of players … and playing pretend isn’t so bad after all.

You can do this.

I am a very shy Rper and I cannot describe the anxiety that goes through my mind when I open up with a nod.

I will say SoE has been one of the best experiences for me. People here have been very understanding for the most part. And yes. Just typing .nod sometimes works, but there are a few times it unfortunately doesn't.

Thank you Nozz all of this is great advice.

This was a issue for me just a short time ago, and I was not very social, but I have been starting to learn that it seemed I would not only shy away from other role palyers, but I also scared them off, and I've gotten a few '' Oh..I just didn't think you would role paly, or even talk to someone like me '' and I've gotten one recently and it kinda made me laugh, because I thought the same of this role palyer, and I guess it was jsut some of the 'ol shyness creeping back to me, but it gave us both a good laugh, and we both agreed to try to role play and talk more.

Just my own example.

In my experience... Well I like roleplaying and tabletop roleplaying is something I try to do at least once a week.

Still I'm not a secure person and english is not my first language. So I get kinda nervous about ruining other people RP.

The other day I had an encounter with a group of players and they somehow managed to get me out of the shell I built for myself and to be honest I had fun.

Am I still nervous? oh yeah. Will I open up to other people RP again? of course

04/20/2011 04:17 PMPosted by Daileena

Still I'm not a secure person and english is not my first language. So I get kinda nervous about ruining other people RP.

English is not my first language too :) When people ask why I constantly mispell something or butcher up the grammar I explain x3

IE: loose and lose >,< took me a while to stop mixing those two up.

The thing is to learn and keep trying :)

04/20/2011 04:45 PMPosted by Kalico

Still I'm not a secure person and english is not my first language. So I get kinda nervous about ruining other people RP.

English is not my first language too :) When people ask why I constantly mispell something or butcher up the grammar I explain x3

IE: loose and lose >,< took me a while to stop mixing those two up.

The thing is to learn and keep trying :)

Very true.

Also, most people won't really care about stuff like spelling if you mess up now and then. I do it all the time, and I do awkward emotes a lot. The trick is just trying to correct yourself when you can. But in the end, don't sweat about it. The key is to have fun. :)

I had a "na uh!" moment recently. I do tend to have pretty good grammar. My friends and family understand this quite well. Unfortunately I spent some time in trade chat and consistantly saw people using "ur" for "your", and "your" for "you are" or "you're" and that makes me a sad panda. But the funny part was... an hour later I was talking to a friend and I typed "you're" when it was supposed to be "your" and I felt just completely ashamed.

But ultimately, even without correcting yourself, I think most people can understand a few mispelled words or wrong tense phrases for what they were meant to be. Just be sure to use punctuation. Oh my god, punctuation! *continues on rambling about nothing*

*GASP*

Mistakes!?

Let's see...

I am absolutely horrible at trying to type accents. I mean horribad.

I tend to type repetitively when tired (like... using one word three times in a single sentence. Adjectives are tricksy when you're sleepy!).

I have issue with creating things like scavenger hunts (I fail, apparently, because my clues are too tough.),

I've misspelled words, garbled emotes, geefed what I learned OOC with the story progression IC, fallen asleep while RPing because I was trying to stay up too late, missed emotes from others, gotten silly and went OOC while RPing, purposefully did OOC roleplays, made a character go running and jumping around Silvermoon while listening to Lady Gaga and singing at the top of my lungs IRL (this, by the way, is excellent stress relief), mocked myself and my characters with IC roleplay (tell Bells she looks like someone else... you'll see what I mean), and had my characters sing songs by "See'loh Greenesun" while they were intoxicated.

The best part? I've had a blast doing it all.

For the nervous folks, all I can say is don't sweat what other folks "think" of you... or might think of you when they won't. You just do your thang, sugars. Have fun, because that's what it's all about. :3

If anyone ever wants to approach Bells or needs some help getting comfy with a character before trotting it out, let me know. I'll be happy to work with anyone on anything, especially if it's getting over jitters. Mainly because I still get them, too.

I'm nothin' special; just a geek like everyone else. ;)

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