World of Warcraft®

Once upon a time, a long time ago, there lived a young goblin named Fizzlethwaite. Her eyes were large and golden, her skin was a most desirable shade of olive green, and her hair was soft and silky, just the color of freshly changed rocket fuel. Fizzlethwaite lived with her father in Azshara, working for the Goblin King designing many great engineering inventions. Fizzlethwaite's father was very well known and very rich, both things important to a goblin...but his greatest pride and joy was his daughter.
"One day, Fizzlethwaite," he would often say, "You will be the greatest engineer in Azeroth!"

Fizzlethwaite had absolutely no doubt that this was true, especially with the plans for the Spectrecles she was working on. These were a pair of wondrous goggles that would allow the wearer to see and harness the power of The Great Beyond. She wasn't exactly sure what The Great Beyond was, or how to harness its power...or what, if anything, one was supposed to do with it. It was a work in progress.

But things weren't always fated to be so peaceful. Fizzlethwaite's father had lost his wife soon after Fizzlethwaite was born in a horrific quillboar accident, and the lonely Azshara nights got long. So it was, soon after her sweet 16th birthday, Fizzlethwaite got a new stepmother. Grizzlemopp came with two daughters of her own, Mixie and Trixie, who were not interested in engineering in the slightest. They spent their time huddled over copies of PlayHorde, giggling and fantasizing dreamily about such hunks as Gamon and Lor'themar. March's centerfold consisted of Garrosh Hellscream in a loincloth, which caused them to scream with fangirlish delight for two whole hours. Fizzlethwaite began spending a lot of her time in the lab, tinkering with her Spectrecles.

Then, one day, tragedy struck. While adjusting the cogs on his new AutoBombing Chicken, Fizzlethwaite's father was blown to tiny pieces. Everyone was devastated, but none more than Fizzlethwaite, who was now orphaned. Things didn't improve much for her after that, as Grizzlemopp made her move out of the house and start sleeping above the lab.
"Well, really," she reasoned. "Your father only left us a large fortune, after all, not a huge one. I need the house for myself so I can contain the magnitude of grief I feel at his passing."

The magnitude of her grief soon included seventeen new mechanohawgs, a turboprop aeroplane, and several mechanical gnome servants. Of course, the money didn't last long after that, and Fizzlethwaite was forced into rags, cleaning up after her stepmother and stepsisters. Poor Fizzlethwaite! Her beautiful green skin was soon stained with oil and soot as she cleaned the mechanohawgs, her soft silky hair was frizzy with dirt, and she had no time at all to work on her Spectrecles. They sat on a top shelf of the abandoned lab, gathering dust.
"One day, I will be the greatest engineer in Azeroth!" she sniffled as she cried herself to sleep every night, great tears dripping off the end of her goblin nose.

A year after this, a letter arrived by carrier rat at the manor, addressed to the ladies of the house.
"Oh, look!" cried Grizzlemopp, "We're being invited to a Grand Engineer's Ball, hosted by the High Society of Engineers in Orgrimmar! How simply splendid. I must attend, there might be a young, handsome, rich engineer who could fill the magnitude of my grief..."
"High Tinker Mekkatorque will be there." mused Fizzlethwaite, looking at the invitation. "Perhaps the Gnomish engineers might know how to perfect my Spectrecles."
"Ha, as if you're going." sniffed Mixie and Trixie. "You spend so much time in cinders and soot, they'd probably mistake you for spare parts! Ha ha ha! Cinderfizzle, Cinderfizzle!" they sang at her, pelting her with spare bolts until she ran from the room, crying.

Fizzlethwaite watched with growing depression as her stepmother and stepsisters decked themselves out in their finest clothes for the ball, then strapped on goggles and caps for the long zepplin ride to Durotar, leaving the manor in a cloud of dust and oil on three brightly polished mechanohawgs. In a rage, she took down the Spectrecles and threw them at the wall.
"Stupid ball!" she shouted. "Stupid mechanohawgs! Stupid Spectrecles! I'll never be the greatest engineer in all Azeroth! Never! Never! Never!" she slumped against the wall of the lab, sobbing, and didn't notice for a while that when the Spectrecles had hit the wall, something buzzed.

Something clicked.

Something whirred.

And the Spectrecles turned on.

(cont)

When Fizzlethwaite stopped sniveling, she looked up in amazement at the Spectrecles. They worked! Not only did they work, but they looked sort of cool. Cautiously, remembering what had happened to her father, she put them on her head. Instantly, her vision was darkened, and before her stood an image of her father.
"Congratulations, sweetheart." he said with a grin. "You perfected the Spectrecles. Now you gotta get to that ball and show them off!"
"But!" said Fizzlethwaite, "I dont have anything to wear, and I'm dirty, and Grizzlemopp hid the spare keys to the mechanohawgs."
"Stop being stupid." chided the image of her father. "You're an engineer. Dress like one, clean your face, and take the turboplane."
"Oh. Right." said Fizzlethwaite, marching off to do just that.

She put on her best coveralls, the ones that had no oil stains on the knees, and combed as much frizz out of her hair as she could. Wearing the Spectrecles and a attaching a new Shrink Ray on her belt for looks, she hotwired the turboplane and set out for Orgimmar on her own, the spectre of her father riding along in the back and shouting encouragement the whole while.
"Remember!" he yelled as she crossed the Southfury river, "You have to be back by midnight or the Spectrecles will lose their power! You gotta recharge 'em!"

Orgrimmar was a dusty, dirty place, and she was glad she was wearing coveralls. She marched bravely up to the Hold, holding out the crumpled invitation to the two Kor'Kron guards.
"Related to Grizzlemopp, eh?" one grunted. "Poor kid."
But Fizzlethwaite held her head high and marched into the hall, looking around in amazement. Never before had she seen so many goblins! Or so many engineers! There were whizzes and bangs from someone's new Rotosquirrel, and a large steam powered wheel was firing off large globs of ice cream at random while three gnomes ran around frantically trying to fix it.
"This is the best ball ever." Fizzlethwaite breathed, pushing her Spectrecles up on her forehead to get a better look at all the displays.

Meanwhile, Grizzlemop and her two daughters Mixie and Trixie were trying to catch the eyes of the Goblin prince, who was very bored with the whole affair and was slumped in the throne next to his father, eating cocktail shrimp and wondering why he simply wasn't allowed to vaporize the High Tinker. Garrosh Hellscream was probably wondering the same thing, he reasoned to himself. Gnomes in the middle of Orgrimmar. What next?

"Your highness!' squeaked Grizzlemopp, pushing her daughters forward. "May I present my daughters, Mixie and Trixie. As you know, they are both of marriageable age and come with substantial dowries!" This interested the goblin king and he sat forward a little. "Dowries?" he murmured, stroking his solid gold mechanical chicken.
"Look out!!" yelled a Kor'kron just then. Something was happening in the middle of the ballroom. Fizzlethwaite was knocked out of the way as the huge D.I.S.C.O. ball began to whirl and spin ominously.

"HA HA HA HA!!" roared a monstrous voice from inside the ball. "ALL OF AZEROTH'S GREATEST ENGINEERS IN ONE PLACE! SOON YOU WILL ALL BE DEAD AND THE REIGN OF TWILIGHT CAN BEGIN ANEW!!" Screams and yells punctuated the hall as several Faceless ones burst from the D.I.S.C.O. ball and began firing shadowbolts into the panicked crowd.
"Don't worry, Highness!" called High Tinker Mekkatorque, hurrying to the front. "I can save us from this monstrosity!' he pulled out a shrink ray and aimed it at the nearest Faceless One. It screamed in agony and shrank down to the size of a bug, where it was promptly trampled by the hysterical goblins and gnomes fleeing the rest of them.

"Ha! Fear my gnomish powers of ingenuity!" High Tinker Mekkatorque crowed. "You see? The Alliance know howwwwww-ow-ow-owww!" he howled as he was punted across the room from behind by a rampaging Faceless One.
"PUNY GNOMES AND GOBLINS." bellowed the Faceless. "COWER BEFORE THE MIGHT OF DEATHWING!"
"Oh, no!" Fizzlethwaite cried, watching all of this from behind the safety of the ice cream wheel. "I've got to do something!"
She stepped out from behind the wheel and pushed her Spectrecles down over her eyes, aiming the Shrink ray at two Faceless Ones at once.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGH!!" they howled as they were banished. Emboldened by her success, she ran throughout the ball, shrinking and banishing as many Faceless as she could find, until finally there was just one left.

"SURRENDER, GOBLIN, OR HE DIES!" the demon growled, holding the Goblin prince in one tentacle and waving him over her head.
"Never!" Fizzlethwaite screamed, firing the Shrink Ray one last time. The Faceless One exploded, dropping the startled Goblin Prince right into her arms. She caught him, looking stunned.

"Cinderfizzle! What are you doooooooooing here?" wailed Grizzlemopp, as a flying ball of icecream hit her in the face. Fizzlethwaite could only grin. The Goblin Prince grinned right back.
"Cinderfizzle, eh? I like that name." he said.
"Really?" Cinderfizzle purred, deciding to keep it as around them goblins and gnomes continued to flee, ice cream globs soared, and several displays of engineering genuis spontaneously combusted under pressure. They kissed! The Spectrecles gave a last hiss of steam, and then went dark.

"Now that was a party." the Goblin King remarked as he looked over the wreckage.

Six months later there was another party, as Cinderfizzle and the Goblin Prince were married in one of the most spectacular displays of mechanical wonder. As it turned out, Cinderfizzle was named the sole heir of her father's fortune in a will that Grizzlemopp had been hiding in the back seat of the turboplane. She and her daughters were shipped off to Thousand Needles and Cinderfizzle, her seventeen mechanohawgs, the turboplane, and several mechanical gnome servants went to live in Orgrimmar with the King.

The Spectrecles were put on display for all to see, as a reminder that sometimes, even the greatest engineer in all Azeroth needs to look inside themselves for inspiration......and always keep a Gnomish Shrink Ray handy.

This is good. I like this.

Thanks

This was an enjoyable read. You had such a creative use in Goblin/Gnome tech. I wouldn't have thought a Goblin fairy tale would have been quite possible until now.

They spent their time huddled over copies of PlayHorde, giggling and fantasizing dreamily about such hunks as Gamon and Lor'themar. March's centerfold consisted of Garrosh Hellscream in a loincloth, which caused them to scream with fangirlish delight for two whole hours

Was one of my favourite parts! I would offer criticism, but I really don't have any. You did exactly what I see you set out to do. Wonderful job!