World of Warcraft®

The first reports from the Horde office were encouraging; Derscha knew that Brae desperately needed a distraction, and rebuilding the Orgrimmar office seemed to be working. Even if Derscha herself never set foot in the city, there was a certain satisfaction - and closure - to having the office be reopened.

But! Oh, the cost. The rebuilding certainly wasn’t coming cheap. The long term benefits of rebuilding were worth it, however.

“In fact, we should celebrate,” she thought. “And possibly expand our client base again. Maybe send some more gift packages? Not more chickens this time, it’s been done, should surprise people - oh!” The gnomish gears began to turn.

Several minutes later:

“SPROCKETQUILL!”

The gnome receptionist cringed as Derscha called out her name while bounding down the stairs from her office. “Yes, boss?”

“Find someone to send this letter off to Ogrimmar, and to Brae. I’ve got a loooovely idea.”

Several days later:

The AAMS is pleased to announce a new service, the

Anything But the Kitchen Sink* Mystery Delivery

Want to have a some more surprises in your life? Of the fun variety? For the low, low cost of one gold per month, you can have the AAMS deliver you one new mystery package at the beginning of every month!

Every month, receive a new package with different mystery items. What will it be? Who knows!**

Persons who sign up now during our Pre-Launch special can receive their first month FREE as part of the AAMS ABKS*** celebration package.

FAQ
1. What is this program, again?
Please re-read the first part of this announcement, silly.

2. What will it cost me?
We are currently charging an ultra-low rate of 1g per month, payable upon receipt of package. However, sign up NOW and receive your first shipment free as part of our celebration package!

3. Who can sign up?
Anyone currently eligible for AAMS services may sign up; that means both Alliance and Horde!

4. How do I sign up?
Contact your local AAMS representative or turn in sign-up form at our offices.
((Talk to an AAMSer or post in this thread!))

5. When do I need to be signed up?
Anytime before August 1st to qualify for your free August shipment. For future months, we will need signs up seven (7) days in advance of the beginning of the month to allow time for processing and proper packaging. Sign-ups after that cutoff are subject to item availabilty.

6. When will I receive my first ABKS**** Mystery Delivery?
Personal deliveries will begin on the first of the month. Any package not hand delivered will be mailed on the 15th.

7. Does everyone get the same item? Are you just clearing junk our of your bank?
Currently, everyone receives the same item as everyone else. We are specifically farming/crafting/buying items for this program!

Any further questions and comments can be addressed by your local AAMS representative.

Remember: Sign up for the ABKS***** Mystery Delivery today!

--

*Name subject to change upon discovery of niftier acronym.
**the AAMS does. Well, not right NOW, but we will!
***It does seems a bit awkward, doesn’t it?
****Seriously…. who named this thing again?
***** Ah, forget it, we’re keeping it.

((Jataa would like to sign up!! =D ))

((Zephilyn will sign up as well!))

((CAAAAAAAAAAAAIL!... will sign up. :) ))

Oh! Oh!

<waves hand frantically in the air>

Send me one! Send me one! I'm ready coach!

Khromie had been so marvelous to Izby that she wandered around Stormwind trying to think of adequate methods to spoil her young friend as repayment and thanks when she walked past a poster for the Sword of Oarwind movie hanging on the wall to the tunnel out of the Trade District. She smirked at how it reminded her of the pupil she was trying to reward when she saw a second flyer offering to send mystery packages to people so long as they paid a gold coin each month. Carefully, Izby ran her claws around the edges of the poster, cutting through the adhesives to remove the flyer without tearing it. The sky overhead seemed to lighten as she continued her walk back to her shop considering the mystery boxes. Would they contain plague cockroaches or pieces of uncooked tiger flank or wrapping paper? More importantly would there be anything that they could send at such a small cost that Khromie wouldn't find some joy in it? Not that she could think of, so when she got back to the shop she took out some stationary and wrote a note to Derscha.

"Esteemed AAMS.

I am interested in acquiring a year's subscription of your Anything But the Kitchen Sink service for a friend. I have included more than adequate payment to make up for the inconvenience of not sending the packages to myself, but another patron. Please, make sure that these are delivered to Khromie Overspark, not to be confused with the Bronze Dragon unless she is cleaning toilets in the Cathedral and wearing her special sanitation suit.

With great respect and the Naaru's Blessing,
Izby Frostworn."

((Let me know how you'd like to do this if at all possible Derscha whenever you see me on Izby, Sizy, or Dolingen.))

Somewhere in the furthest expanses of Winterspring, a big druid reads an advert in the local and chuckles to himself....

"Welp, reckon I know wut ta do with some of this weird stuff what's been piling up now don't I? My ain't they gonna be surprised. Ayyyyyup..."

((ME TOO ME TOO! Sign me up... and T.A.E. as well!))

((quick bump for people in AOOC))

Reminder: tomorrow's the last day to sign up for the August delivery!

A maggot wearing bombardier goggles and riding a unicycle appears at Booty Bay AAMS Headquarters. Breathing heavily, it pushes an envelope into the AAMS Message Box and Decontamination Station.

***************************************WARNING!!!*********************************************************************

Undercity Postal Delivery Society warns any non-sessile sentient that may receive this missive that it is not responsible for lost limbs, organs, lives, or other iterations of a personal and biological nature due to the contents of this package/letter/bomb/biological contaminant. The sender is classified a Level 1M Extreme Hazard. You have been warned, Flesh Things.

****************************************WARNING!!!******************************************************************

We would like presssentsss, yesss. Pleassse make them asss appropriate asss you think would be well for me, yesss? Though, sssuprisssesss are alwaysss fun, yesss!

Abominus the Maggot Lord
Defiler of the Great Anvil of Ironforge
Horde Combat Barber

Sign me up! ))

((Is it possible to double dip? :P ))

((Hmm. Thought i'd signed up. guess not. Oh well. I'll just do it now then!))

((I have paid for my two packages for their two patrons correct?))

Ah, to hell with it. This could be amusing. Why not, I'll sign up.

I've added Korigal to my list. You're set for September!

As a reminder, September signs up need to be before August 25th so we can see how many packages we need to have ready :)

I favor your boxes of mystery, small gnome.

But if this has anything to do with snowballs, I shall be very cross.

I want a pony!

<signs up for September>