Spricket's Dowery, Vloth's Surprise- Open RP

100 Undead Warrior
10155
The Maggot Lord Rolled in a large cauldron with the aid of a few peons, who were fully encased in leather armor, iron boots, and facemasks. He directed the cauldron to be placed next to his "mostly" repaired laboratory equipment. A large array of variously sized and filled cauldrons, some smoking, on fire, or laughing, were arranged along a heavily reinforced wall. A large drainage conduit that conveniently emptied into the Goblin Slums was being cleared of debris and angry maggots by a Grim Maw clan recruit, who was quietly crying in bleak despair. His shelving, made of black Northrend oak, and covered in black dragon scales provided by Razaji, had many exotic and common materials, some of which may or may not have been sentient at one point.

His Sentient Underwear where pinned to a picture frame with Redearth's gnomishly captured visage scowling out of it. Blake, Destroyer of Worlds, slimed it's way around it's tank, seeking more food. Abominus absently tossed a kitten into the tank, ignoring it's patheticly mewling cries for mercy that were cut short by the happy "Splerching" sounds of Blake feeding.

A large desk made of Red Ridge rock was placed against one wall, with a handy collapsible chair made of Adamantium in the shape of a coffin lid placed before it. On the desk were various stacks of notes, ledgers, bills, and complaints and lawsuits, all happily ignored. The severed head of a female Night Elf was mounted on a spike of wood made from an Ancient of War given to Abominus by Vloth. It looked vaguely disapproving. The workers averted their eyes from it as they rolled the cauldon into position.

"Gently now, yesss. Thisss will replace the one lossst when thossse sssheep asssssaulted our door, yesss. Luckily, we were able to collapssse our chair and ride out the resssultant detonationsss and variousss ssscreamingsss, yesss. Once in place, we can begin our work again, yesss."

Abominus saw a new note on his desk, from Vloth. Curious, he picked it up, and scanned it with his eyesockets.

"Hmm, Vloth will be out fissshing in the Maelssstrom, yesss. We will sssend newsss of thisss to the Town criersss, yesss. Ssspricket the Food Gnome will want to know of hisss whereaboutsss, yesss..."
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85 Tauren Druid
0
Maulrush stood fuming over what remained of the fighting pit compound. An entire winter of training and now the entire stable of fighters were gone, fled to the four winds. Not one arena gladiator left, and all that remained was the scattered little leather armor harnesses, with their razor edged wing attachments. Orgrimmar would never see the glory of full on, no holds barred penguin fighting - the fierce waddling for position, the ear-splitting war-squawks, the graceful pirouette of a razor-edged wing, the proud warriors strutting in victory in their bloodied tuxedos. Not to be, this spectacle of nature. Maul's lower lip quivered.

Behind him, two former penguin-wranglers were collecting the penguin helmets and bright little war-banner back-attachments, talking quietly as not to disturb the forlorn Tauren. "Wot ah don't git," says one, "Is wot Vloth's so darn fussy about... now why would 'e turn down a free brea'fast in bed for, anyhow? Anytime he choose, he could says, 'Mornin' lass! AH NOM NOM NOM,' y'know whatahm sayin'?"

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85 Night Elf Druid
0
Aaryahnna Rhae’amon sat at a table in the main taproom of a Stormwind tavern. It was obviously of ill repute; all sorts of creatures were running in and out. No matter, I am being paid well. But…paid well for what, exactly? Aary admitted she was not sure; the letter of askance had no signature. She sipped her tea and waited.

Presently two tiny hands appeared to grip the table’s edge across from her, closely followed by two large blue eyes. Aary let out a groan.

“Ugh, Spricket! What’s the matter this time?” She pointed a long finger at the eyes. “I will tell you one thing – I shan’t help you write another marriage proposal. Mine head still aches from the last one.”

The eyes became a head, then a body. The gnome climbed up into a chair next to her and sat down with a plop. “I misseded you too, Aary Smary!”

A slightly musty odor reached Aary’s nose, no small feat in this den of unwashed bodies. “I’m…I’m sorry, but is that your shriveled old hand I smell?”

The little gnome’s face lit up like a goblin firecracker. “I surely do!” She fumbled through her robes for a moment then pulled out a simple cloth bag, almost worn through in several places. She carefully reached inside and drew out a Forsaken hand. Barely recognizable, it was gray and desiccated.

Despite her good breeding, Aary couldn’t help but shy away from the thing, covering her nose. “By light of Elune, gnome! Why are you still carrying that thing around?”

Spricket’s eye grew very big. “Vloth said that I had to have someone’s hand for them to marry me and take care of me and not get mad when things blow up as they will inevitably do because I’m a gnome and an engineer and sometimes I just can’t help it.”

Aary started to snort a reply, but as usual the gnome carried right on. “Soes then I went to that nice Trollie lady that lives in the fishing village, you know the one where they don’t kill you on sight as long as you aren’t supposed to be a ninny –“

“Enemy.” Aary corrected.

“Yes, a ninny. I askeded her what exactly marriage was, because she’s a Troll and they are prawn…pom…prom…”
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85 Night Elf Druid
0
“Promiscuous.”

“Right. Prom-disk-you-us. Anyway, she said that marriage was when two people took care of each other through thick and thin and war and peace and good times and bad times. She said that sometimes it didn’t matter if one person loveded the other person but the other person didn’t love them back because in time they will grow to certain things about each other that will make them love the whole person. I asked her about what if that person was actually food.” Spricket sighed loudly. “That one took some time to transmogrify.”

“You mean translate?”

The gnome nodded.

“I just bet it did. Well, what this…Troll woman say?” Aary had to admit she was interested.

“Well after she stopped laughing, she said that she supposed a person could love their food. There were people that loved other people who weren’t even the same species and she asked how a gnome could love a Tauren which I thought was stupid because Taurens are way too tall I mean, how would they hold hands they couldn’t, I mean the Tauren would have to kneel down all the time.”

“Yes but…the Forsaken gentleman believes you to be some sort of food dish. Not even the entrée, you understand, but a mere side dish.”

“I don’t care! I only want to hold his hand for a little while.” Spricket took on a plaintative tone. “The Troll lady said that the most important thing to remember is to always hold hands. Hold hands with someone you love at least once a day. Why just yesterday I saw Abominus out by Harrison Jones’s place, and I gave him Mr. Wiggles to eat and I have to say he seemed to really enjoy Mr. Wiggles and didn’t even seem to notice when I slipped my hand into his for just a moment and see, I think that’s just the really important thing about life I mean, once I held Arthas’s hand he really seemed to be happy if only just for a moment.”

Aary raised a finger, finally halting the gnome’s prattle. “I cannot help but wonder why you wish to involve me.”

“Well you see, I figure you are very snotty, and snotty people know a lot about banners. Banners are really important because I have noticed that talking really nice to someone makes them hesitate before killing you and I figure I need two, maybe three minutes to hold Vloth’s hand before he eats me.”

“I’m sorry, banners? I assure you I know naught of banners. You should ask a human woman.” Aary considered for a moment. “I suggest the Lady Gentyl, of the Pia Presidum guild. I believe she could instruct you in the engineering of a very….banner.”

Spricket jumped up. “There’s engineering involved? I will go find the Miss Lady Gentyl right now!”

“There’s a good gnome.” Aary sat back in her chair, considering how close she came to utter disaster. Indeed, Gentyl would better instruct the gnome in … manners. And perhaps allow the Shieldmage to keep her head one day longer.
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85 Dwarf Shaman
1140
Aldurson had been obsessing for many days what gift to get the happy couple. He thought back to his several conversations he had had with the little gnome and the wonderful bright expression on her face when she spoke of her love.

"Oh Mistress of the Cuppey Cake," he had said, "I have a gift for you for your dowry." He had watched her eyes light up as only the eyes of a woman in love can, and she bounced back and forth from foot to foot as he finally unveiled the two rather prodigious gems, one blue and one red, both roughly cut into hands as well as he was able to muster (which at this point was still far too rough in his opinion).

And now here he was running through a forbidding forest in wolf form, the two gems hanging from a pouch in his mouth. As he reached the place where he was instructed to go, he found the person -- well, once person, anyway -- that matched the description he'd been given, and strode up to him, staying in wolf form as instructed to so as not to arouse undue suspicion.

"Excuse me, sir!" he barked, "I have a delivery here in this pouch!" He gestured to the pouch with a paw.

"Eh? What's in it?" the undead asked him.

"Well...a pair of hands, actually!" Aldurson replied and put the pouch down and opened it gently, retrieving the pair of gem hands and showing them to the undead, "I'm here to deliver these." He smiled and returned the gems to their large pouch and handed it over.

With a smile and a nod, he dashed away, happy to have done what little he could to help secure their combined happiness.
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86 Undead Rogue
6630
Maulrush.....How could this have happened?

Look!!!
*Icharis hands over a broken fishing pole*

We went out fishing... You know how Vloth loves fishing... well used to...

This giant whale thing ate him! I can't believe it! We must send a letter to his gnome girlfriend and break the bad news.


******************************
Dear Spricket,
I am sad to inform you that your boyfriend Vloth has been eaten by a giant whale. It is a tragedy. I would like to give you this broken fishing pole he used to use as a token for your remembrance.

Have a nice day,
Icharis

PS
All Hail Blizzardia
*****************************
Edited by Icharis on 3/10/2011 12:07 PM PST
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90 Troll Priest
6950
All Hail Blizzardia

I was sad to hear of today's news. We have lost a loved one, a mighty combatant, skilled mountain climber, amazing lumberjack, and natural fisherman. At 7:00 PM we held a service in his name remembering his spirit as we asked Blizzardia to guide his spirit. Grim Maw was able to give a final farewell to Vloth where we passed around one of his fishing poles and reminisced. In true Blizzardian ways she all gave us one last second with Vloth as his spirit arose among the Grim Maw ring of trust that was formed. Maulrush, Rothian, Striga, Talgos , and Myself were all blessed to see Vloth's spirit for the last time before his spirit fleeted.

All Hail Blizzardia for guiding us.

Vloth you will be missed
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90 Human Death Knight
5430
Verogoth set down the report with a heavy sigh. It was not good news, but he had come to expect that with the "dowery situation", as it had come to be known around the office.

Apparently, not all the sheep had made it in the initial delivery to Vloth, and now rumors seemed to suggest that Mr. Vloth had gone on sabbatical to an unknown location. This would obviously complicate the task of completing the delivery.

He withdrew a pen and sheet of parchment from his satchel and began composing a return memo to the AAMS Horde branch.

To: AAMS Horde Branch Management
From: AAMS Alliance Branch Courier Rillik Verogoth
RE: Continuing Sheep Delivery to Mr. Vloth

To whom it may concern:

It is with my utmost respect that I offer my services to the AAMS Horde Branch in locating Mr. Vloth so that the delivery of his sheep may be completed. However, I offer my support with some trepidation. As you are aware, there has been a recent mass delivery to all interested Alliance members from a member of the Ishnu Por Ah, threatening action against certain Alliance-affiliated races seen in their territory. While I have no information leading me to believe that Mr. Vloth has indeed left the Eastern Kingdoms, this search may lead me to Kalimdor. If this happens, I officially request authorization to fully defend myself and other members of the AAMS, should the Ishnu Por Ah not recognize our agreement of neutrality while in Horde territory.

Respectfully,
Rillik Verogoth
AAMS Alliance Branch Courier


Verogoth double checked the memo, then, satisfied with the contents, made a duplicate to file with his superiors.
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86 Troll Shaman
9715
A return memo finds its way into the Alliance Branch Office, still sparking faintly as if its transportation wasn't entirely mundane. The writing is ordinary enough, however, and reads as so:

To: AAMS Alliance Branch Courier Rillik Verogoth
From: AAMS Horde Branch Manager Yotingo
RE: Continuing Sheep Delivery to Mr. Vloth

Permission granted. Have you also considered investing in an Orb of Deception?

In the meantime, be sure to display the AAMS colors and act respectfully, under any and all circumstances. Do not, repeat, do not attack or otherwise engage in violence unless absolutely necessary. Use those courier feet, mon!

Spirits be with you,
Yotingo
Horde Branch Manager
Edited by Yotingo on 3/12/2011 10:22 AM PST
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((Sorry AAMS folks! I had a business trip, and was away until today. I'm back home now and will be ingame. Apologize for the absence, but it did make for Icharis' story more effective as well. *laugh*))
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100 Human Paladin
11395
Spricket stormed out to the tree where Traveler leaned and occasionally lowered his dead to drink out of the open keg of cherry grog. Gentyl dipped a cup in the keg and watched Spricket stomping closer. She was quite sure she'd never seen a gnome stomp before.

"Hello, Miss Sepha Lady Gentyl," Spricket said and flopped down on the grass next to her.

"Hello, Spricket. I was just out here with Traveler, thinking and drinking. Thinking about your marriage, actually."

"I got a message that Vloth is dead!" Spricket's eyes welled up with tears.

Gentyl frowned. "Really? How did he die...again?"

"A whale ate him!"

"Would you like some cherry grog?"

She shook her head.

"I don't believe for a moment a whale ate him," Gentyl said and watched as Traveler buried his head in the keg and blew bubbles. She pushed his head to the side a bit and dipped out some more grog. "A shark maybe, but not a whale. I don't even believe a shark ate him. I think the Grims are trying to pull something."

Spricket nodded. "I don't believe it for a minute."

Gentyl sat, thinking...and drinking. "Well, if the Grims want to protect him so much, I think I have another idea. A better one." *hic*

Spricket smiled. "Good. I'm going back to planning the wedding feast then."
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100 Human Paladin
11395
Gentyl sat inside the Blue Recluse, thinking about the day, sipping a glass of wine, since the barkeeper was out of grog and contemplating mayhem. Not that she really liked mayhem, but it had become a rather constant companion and she was growing accustomed to it. Sort of.

Almark Raines walked in just as she was contemplating mayhem, confirming her theory, that you can think things into existence if you have the right attunement and she, apparently, was attuned to mayhem in all its many forms.

Almark was a dark sort of mayhem. He was a master chess player and the world was his board. She wasn't really fond of his manipulative character, but he was pleasant enough when he wasn't busy moving his chess pieces around.

She bought him a glass of wine and asked him to tell her the story of the man who held the world in his hands. He was telling the story about a nobleman who greatly desired power at any cost when another form of mayhem walked in.

Gentyl raised an eyebrow. She had summoned Mayhem, not once, but twice in one night.

The tiny gnome stopped to pet Shauria's fox. "Nice kitty," Inglenob said.

Shauria frowned. "Fox, how could he think you were a kitty?"

"Mr. Inglenob," Gentyl said.

Inglenob tips his hat to... hmm... where did his hat go to?

"Will you join us?" she asked.

"I would be most honored. I do hope I am not disturbing you."

Gentyl poured a glass of wine for the small, but well groomed gnome who looked about anxiously.

Inglenob looked over the table and sighed. "Just once i wish they would lower the tables."

"Almark was telling a story about a man who held the world," Gentyl said.

Almark looked between them.

Inglenob whispered to Gentyl, "Err.. who's that other fellow? is it safe to talk near him?"

Gentyl raised an eyebrow. "Safe? Nothing is safe, perhaps you can whisper to me?"

Inglenob hopped up on the table and sat down. "Ah. much better. I can actually reach my glass now. Oh! and thank you for the wine. Most, most gracious of you."

He scooted closer so he could whisper in her ear and Gentyl giggled a bit at the tickling mustache.

"It's about the umm.. dowry you sent on behalf of Mistress Sprocket...."

Gentyl frowned, "Oh dear, what happened?"

Almark quirked a brow.

"They appear to have been slightly defective," Inglenob whispered. "I am sad to report that your very kind gift ...uh....err.. sort of exploded."

Gentyl gasped. "They exploded! how many?"

Inglenob looked back at the fox and mumbled, "That is the oddest looking cat I've ever seen!" He then turned back to Gentyl. "Err.. all of them apparently. My employer is most distressed."

Almark looked at the gnome and pocketed his chess piece.

Gentyl frowned and drummed her fingers on the table. "You realize that once he accepted the sheep, what he did with them is of no concern. He is still betrothed."

"My employeer wish to um.. thank you for your kind thought, but asks me to report that he simply cannot accept such a gift after taking such poor care of them."
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100 Human Paladin
11395
Inglenob pulls out a piece of paper.

Almark dusts himself off, standing. "Suppose I should be on my way, then."

Inglenob says: yes... he umm.. thought you might say something like that. So he asked me to um read this in that case.

Gentyl 's voice rises, "It's too late. He accepted them. He's engaged and he better be ready for a wedding."

Gentyl says: His tuxedo will be delivered shortly.

Almark shrugs slightly.

Inglenob coughs and clears his throat, "ahem... Dear Ms. Gentyl, I cannot go through with this for a number of reasons for which---" Oh my.. he didn't see that one coming. Allow me to continue?

Duessel glanced downstairs, clearly not eavesdropping even though he was.

Inglenob chuckled and read on, "I shall now present: First, the explosion has quite destroyed all of my belongings and clothing. I simply have nothing to wear for such an event!"

"Tuxedo..." Inglenob laughed.

Gentyl took another sip of wine and smiled. "The tuxedo is on its way. Next excuse?"

Inglenob continued, "Also, as there is no evidence of any such dowry, I content that no such dowry arrived. You have no proof!"

"Our part of the contract was fulfilled and we expect him to deliver as well."

"He's clever... he might have you on that one, but the tuxedo does throw a wrench in his plans."

"Not really." Gentyl pulled out a receipt for the delivery of 100 sheep to one Vloth.

Inglenob glanced up and read yet a bit more, "Lastly, I never gave her my hand. How this appetizer obtained it is beyond me, but none the less, I ask her to return it without condition. Lastly, as she has already asked for the hand of my dear friend Abominus, I consider her off-limits, and cannot do such a foul act as break up another's nuptials. So you see there really is no way such an event can or will take place."

Inglenob cleared his throat, "Sincerely, Vloth of the Grim Maw Clan. Ps. This damn warlock had better be reading this verbatim if he knows what is good for him---"

He gulped at the last part.

Gentyl folded the receipt back up and puts in her bag. "Yes, but she doesn't have Abominus' hand, she has Vloth's. So, he tells her when someone holds hands she will know it's true love and she should marry that person and now that she is holding his hand, he refuses her?"

"Err.. well... as to that. My client contests that it isn't truly his. You see he apparently has both of his, so he claims any other one is a fake."

"I've already discussed this with an attorney, since Vloth's character for avoiding conflict, which is sometimes mistaken for true love. He accepted the sheep. She accepted his hand. There will be a wedding."

"Umm... err...."

"Umm...errr nothing," Gentyl snapped.
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85 Gnome Warlock
5395
***********************

From:The Law Offices of Bizwuzzle, Jitterbean, Patterson, and Goldfarb
Boltwiggle Bizwuzzle, Attorney at Law.

To: Horde Embassy of Stormwind


To whom it may concern,

It has come our attention that our client, Miss Spricket , is in a state of legal conflict with Vloth ,a forsaken and member of the Horde, for a number of reasons. This matter can be resolved in a settlement rather than being taken to an arduous and time-consuming trial.

We have several eye witnesses willing to testify on the confrontation about the severed hand. Evidence has also been discovered that one of Vloth's current hands is not originally his own. All parties involved must now agree to a settlement deposition to resolve this matter. Let us be civil regarding this situation and not force further legal pursuits, thank you.


Sincerely,

Boltwiggle Bizwuzzle,
Attorney at Law

*************************
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100 Human Paladin
11395
Inglenob nervously flipped the parchment over to see if there is any more which might address this. He wiped the sweat from his brow. "Errr. Well he isn't going to like this, no, not one bit... er... perhaps YOU can relay this answer to him? I umm…shall perhaps take a long vacation?"

"Remember when Dreejin cut off my ear?" Gentyl said.

"Umm.. no. he did"? really? What on earth would he do that for? So you are betrothed to Dreejin then?"

Gentyl frowned. "He took it as a war trophy after knocking me out. I have two ears, thanks to a clever healer. So I assume the same might have happened to Vloth."

Inglenob sipped his wine and sighed. "How is your marriage going? Is he good to you?"

"Stop changing the subject."

"What? You are the one who brought up the topic of the ear, and ownership apparently implying a proposal. I was merely making conjecture."

"We're discussing Vloth. If he hadn't been toying with Spricket's emotions he wouldn't be in this predicament."

The gnome blinked. "I must say... I have- unfortunately-- known him for some time now, and 'toying with a lady's emotions' is umm…well...something I don't believe is possible. Not from him that is."

"I was explaining how he could have two hands presently and the one Spricket has is still his, or was until she received it."

"Received it from?"

Almark slid some coins across the table.

"No need to pay me, King Slayer" Gentyl said. "As a matter, of fact, perhaps we have a new piece for your game."

Almark shook his head. "I'm like Teriis in that respect. I feel some things will back to bite me..." He looked at the gnome. "I'll leave you to your business."

Inglenob looks over at Almark out of the corner of his eye and whispered to Gentyl, "Did he REALLY kill a king? how... intriguing!"

"What would you call a scoundrel who toys with the affections of an innocent gnome?"

((Sorry, I've been slacking getting this up.))
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100 Human Paladin
11395
Almark folded his arms, thinking. "Black knight. Negative intentions. A small deviation to the end of his move."

Inglenob blinked. "Hmm.. well... I would certainly call that a scoundrel. But umm.. are you sure we are talking about the same Forsaken? Scary looking fellow, no lower jaw? Green hair?"

"I know what he looks like. So, Inglenob, you may return to your employer. Tell him we are sending a tuxedo and setting a date.

"Err…but she does realize he's dead, right? Decaying? Icky? Perhaps she is vision-impaired? Oh the poor thing!"

"She's already rented a room so they can 'hold hands' on the wedding night."

"Not sure I'm the one to ask," Almark said.

Inglenob raised an eyebrow and winced.

Gentyl looked to Almark "No, please do."

Almark ran a hand down his face and offered a small wave. "Stay safe."

Inglenob sighed. "Well, in that case I was told to then read this other note, if the other one failed to convince you." He pulled a short piece of note paper from his inside vest pocket, cleared his throat, and gasped as he read the first sentence.

Gentyl frowned. "It doesn't have anything to do with Temperius marrying me after the Vloth Spricket ceremony, does it?"

Inglenob stared at the note. "Oh my...it says, 'Dear Gentyl, If that useless warlock is reading this, it means he has failed to do his job and I shall have to kill him.'" Inglenob gulped. "Oh my... this is all wrong!" He continued reading the note "Please note then that I contest the dowry on the grounds then that 100 sheep were not provided. Only 98 were signed for, and I have a receipt to that effect. After I kill this warlock I shall go into hiding, and not even Engrid shall find me!"

Inglenob gasped in terror as he folded up the paper. "I shall kill him"??? ACK! you must protect me! I can't go back now!

Gentyl agreed. "No, you can't. I will send a message with AAMS."

"Oh please... Please Mistress Gentyl, don't make him marry the lovely Spricket thereby causing my death! Have a heart!"
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100 Human Paladin
11395
"May I see that letter?" Gentyl asked.

Inglenob knelt before her clinging to her leg and pleading with her to save him.

"Oh gods above and below don't kneel to me. Give me the letter."

He handed over the piece of paper with a shaky hand.

"Inglenob, he isn't going to kill you."

Inglenob sobbed. "Oh why, why did I ever decide to let that foul Forsaken be my employer?"

Gentyl folded up the letter. "Since he says right here he received 98 sheep and Spricket has his hand, the wedding is on. No excuses. I understand pre-marriage jitters, but he better buck up and act like a ma...forsaken, whatever. We'll get the other two to him."

"But he told me, 'And you'd better ham it up and make her believe I truly mean to kill you, or I WILL!'" He twitched nervously. "Can I have that back. I think that's the wrong note I gave you...

"No, you cannot."

"Oh my...."

"I have the receipt for the sheep, He acknowledges he received them. Nice try, but he's getting married."

The gnome shrugged. "He does point out that he has it on concrete terms that he did not get all 100 sheep. Only ninety-eight. So... if the agreement is for 100, you have not met the terms."

"Oh, yes he did. It says so in the note. I sent 102 sheep just to be safe and because I like sheep. Plus one more." She frowned. "Wait. Let me read the note again."

"Hmm... well... you do seem to have him there then. I know for a fact that he isn't good at math, and wouldn't have counted them himself." He looked up. "What note?"

Gentyl dug through her bag, looking for the note from Vloth stating he had received ninety-eight sheep. She laid a paper out on the table and Inglenob quickly snatched it up, popped it in his mouth, chewed furiously.

Gentyl stared in amazement as he swallowed her grocery list. Finally, she said. "If he blew them up how does he know how many he received before he blew them up?"
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100 Human Paladin
11395
"Oh, well he doesn't. he is only going off of the delivery statement he signed. I'm pretty sure he didn't read it in advance. He never does. That's how I get to charge him so much."

"I'm quite sure he received 100 sheep. Spricket has his hand, dried out and desicated as it is, but it's his. So, where do we go from here?"

"Well...umm. I wish you success. Unless that is he decides to punish me for failing, in which case I wish you do not succeed. If you see the lovely Mistress Bebus-- she's so dreamy-- please uh... er... oh my. Just um, give my regards."

"He'll be so happy after he's married he won't give punishing you a second thought.

The gnome stared at her. "Vloth? Happy?"

"Well, if not happy, then at least sedated. I think Spricket has lots of potions."

"Oooh! that stands to reason it will be met with more sucess than happiness. Usually to make him happy it requires a good day of fishing after killing Ehlina. Or not dying at her blade if killing wasn't an option."

"I can ask Ehlina if she would consent to be killed before Vloth and Spricket retire to their honeymoon suite.

"Hmm. I'm fairly sure that if she consented it wouldn't be the same. It's akin to Souleater consenting to be nice. Just has a false ring to it."

"Well, I can't very well just invite her to the wedding and have her killed without her consent."

He looked around. "May I hide in the basement? Will you pass on your, err, stalwart reply to him?"

"No need to hide in the basement, you can stay in the barracks. You just can't stay in my room or hire g@%#* girls."

"What's a g@%#* girl? do they make wine?

"Twobits has a habit of hiring g@%#* girls to feed him g@%#*s and fan him. I'm not paying for any more g@%#* girls."

"Ooo! that's brilliant! I've never once thought of such a thing! I shall have to meet this Twobits fellow. he sounds like a clever man!

"No, no, you don't need to meet him. You only think it's a good idea because you spend too much time with Vloth."
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100 Human Paladin
11395
"I spend no time with him at all. I merely, uh, run errands for him. Trust me, the smell keeps me away just fine. Besides, those orcs he hangs around with try to eat and smash me. It's most unnerving."

Gentyl nodded. If you stay here, you might see Bebus training."

Inglenob shivered. "Really? She's so dreamy," he sighed.

"Yes, she likes to beat on things with her shiny swords."

Inglenob realized he said that aloud and coughed, cleared his throat, and looked at his pocket watch.

Gentyl drummed her fingers on the table. "So, how do we handle Vloth?"

"You handle him however you see fit! I'm going to try and stay alive! Oh my. This is not good, not good at all! That poor Gnome lass."

"I wonder if it's bad manners to kidnap a reluctant groom."

"I'm sure he's had worse done to him. Like that time Frostfall sent a bombay cat to plague him. It leapt onto his head and held on with its claws for a week and wouldn't come down."

"Well, there you go. Spricket certainly isn't a bombay cat. Of course, she may hold onto his hand for weeks. I really have no idea how long gnomish honeymoons last."

"She isn't fond of salmon?"

"She likes cuppycakes, but she bakes them. She never mentioned salmon."

Inglenob sighed again. "This just isn't going to end well."

"As long as I don't have to marry, Temp, it will end fine."

"Might I ask who is this Temp?"

"A warlock who thinks we should make this a double ceremony."

"I always thought Imperon had the hots for you."

Gentyl choked slightly. "No, Imperon doesn't have the hots for me. He has an unhealthy curiosity."

"Ah. So, Temp is a warlock? We are a very noble breed!"
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100 Human Paladin
11395
"Thank you, I'm sure you're very noble, but I'm going to pass on the double ceremony."

Inglenob bowed before her. "Well I shall leave you to your wine. Thank you kindly for sharing some with me." He roamed around the room searching and muttering. The basement must be here somewhere. I would hide in the Cathedral, but he's been there far too many times."

"You can find a room at the head quarters. I'll send a message to Vloth."

The gnome continued wandering around.

"Go to the barracks! I can't protect you in the basement."

Inglenob jumped. "I haven't the faintest idea of where they are!"

"Besides, I might run into Bebus and I don't think my heart could take that! I'd pass out most likely!"

"Then what are you going to do?"

Inglenob dug around in his bags. "I had a potion to make me vanish but I can't find it. I don't know what I'm going to do."

"Stay in the barracks. If you pass out, we'll put you in a bed. "Come along."

"Okay, I'll follow you to the barracks.

"Wait, under the bed? To hide? That's a good idea. Harder to kill me there!"

"In a bed, not under one. No more gnomes under beds, especially mine. Gods above and below, between Imperon watching me sleep and gnomes sleeping under my bed and in my desk drawers, it's a wonder I have any hair left. You can stay, but you'll sleep in your own bed."

Inglenob nodded at the bearskin rug on the bed when he walked in the room. "Nice druid."

"It's not a druid, just a bear."

He was asleep as soon as he hopped in the bed.
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