Gentyl wandered past the auction house and stopped in surprise when she recognized the tiny gnome, barely bigger than a pumpkin stem perched on top of one of the jack-o-lanterns. "Oh, hello, Rhumple."
The gnome waved. "Hello, AQ42. You desperately want to know what your problem is, and you recognize that Rhumple knows don't you? For 1 copper I will insult you."
She blinked in surprise. "I don't have any problems."
He waved a hand in dismissal. "Well, you've just named your fist one there. That's self diagnosis. Never a good idea."
"I'm married to the most wonderful man on Azeroth and I have a new horse," she said, positively stewing in happiness. " What more could a woman want?"
"Ok, come back in two weeks when the honey moon phase is over."
"We've been married two months!"
He snorted. "Ahh I misspoke then. Come back in One week when the honey moon phase is over. Well if I'm wrong, there's always a first time for everything. Except that. I'm not wrong."
"I doubt it will change. He teaches me to kill in the morning and reads poetry to me at night!"
"Well that's delightful."
Curiosity overcame her. "Ok, what's my problem?"
"I can't tell you till I've drunk some more 'nog." The nog obsessed gnome pulled out a flask and drank deeply then wiped his mouth on his sleeve and let out a long sigh. "Ahhh that's good! Well, first I'll need one copper to tell you. This is a business after all. Secondly I'll need you to sign this waver saying you won't swear a blood oath for revenge if my observation is too poignant."
Finnaeus, one of Gentyl's Guards, raised an eyebrow at Rhumple as Gentyl signed the paper.
"Very well," said Rumple after she handed the paper back. "Well, Your problem is this. You think you're happy, but really you are not. You need to really try to focus and get in touch with your inner misery. Just remember that everything is not going to be ok. And you'll be fine then."
Finnaeus flinched. "Sorry to hear that, Gentyl."
"And congratulations on receiving this excellent advice," Rhumple cired.
Gentyl was not nearly as exuberant as the gnome was. "So it's ok if I ignore your advice."
"Of course. I only give the insults/advice, it's up to you to better yourself or not."
Gentyl smiled. "OK, back to being happy."
Finnaeus stepped forward through the crowd. "How much is this advice?"
Gentyl looked at Finn and shook her head.
Rhumple barked his services again in a surprisingly loud yell. "For 1 copper I will decide what is wrong with you, and share it with brutal honesty. Ever wonder what's wrong with you? Rhumple Knows. For one copper at the auction house you can know too."
Edited by Gentyl on 10/21/2011 12:48 PM PDT