World of Warcraft®

Yes, it is time to break your best stupid jokes, puns, groaners, and knee-slappers. The contest starts now and will end on June 16th, and will be judged by me and two of my warped friends over food and drink. I will post when we are starting and that will be the deadline. Don't selfishly keep them to yourselves now! Post 'em if you got 'em. Whatever jokes make me and my friends laugh the most will get BIG PRIZES.

Here's an example of the kinds of jokes we like:

"Two drums and symbol fall off a cliff. Ba-dum-tssh."
"So, these two antennas were getting married. The wedding was great, but the reception was terrible!"

RULES
There are no strict rules but there are a few guidelines to follow that will increase your chance of winning. There is no limit on how many you can post but try not fill up 25 pages worth of them. Keep them short and sweet if you can; last contest someone posted a joke that needed five or so posts in a row to get everything in, and while it was a great joke it was a bit much to read through to get to the good part. Any more than a paragraph and we'll probably get impatient and a little bored reading it. If this first thread fills up by some miracle I'll start another.

Last contest, someone got a hold of me in-game and asked if they could submit a joke through mail because the jokes he had were slightly off color and he didn't want to risk a ban or anything like that for offensive material. After a bit of thought, I don't think I will allow that because I don't want to have to re-post them and get banned myself, really. It would be unfair to say "Nerdos sent me this totally awesome joke, but I can't really post it here but trust me it's awesome guys." Also, I don't find off color jokes all that funny, at least not as funny as plain dumb ones.

I did notice a few posts disappearing from the last thread, so I'll be randomly going into the thread now and then to copy-paste the whole thing to a text file for later. If you have second thoughts about showing people how unfunny you are and want to delete your post, too bad. I will expose you in all your corny glory.

PRIZES
There will be four prized this time around: Best overall joke, best Wow joke, best nerdy/science joke, and random. In the random category, I will log into wow and do a random 1-x, where x is the number of posts there are. That number post will win.

Best Overall Joke - 10,000g
Best WoW Joke - 3,000g
Best Nerdy/Science Joke - 3,141.59g and I call you a nerd
Random - 1,000g

All my benjamins are on alliance, so if the winner is horde I will need some help transferring to the red side. If someone has lots of gold on horde and would be willing to trade for an equivalent amount on the alliance side, that would be a big help to me. I will throw in a small fee for the assistance. Or if you win on a horde character but wouldn't mind having gold on an alliance alt, that works too. Both winners of the last contest did this.

Ready? Aaaaaaaannnnnnnnd...GO!

A String walks into a bar and tries to order a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve Strings here." Later that day, the String is talking to a friend, "Man this bar wouldn't sell me a drink because I'm a string." The String's friend says, "Hey I have an idea." So he ties him up and the String goes back to order a beer. The bartender says, "Hey aren't you that String?" The String looks at him and says, "No I'm Knot."


A dwarf walks into a bar... Actually, he never left!

Gonna bow out of this round (having won the last one), and wish everyone the best of luck! :D

Looking forward to the groaners. :3

You'll probably hate me for this... (I won't post another after this one...)

Hello CCers, look at your mount, now back to mine, now back to your mount, now back to mine. Sadly, it isn't mine, but if you stopped being cheap and dropped 25 bucks, it could look like mine. Look down, back up, where are you? You are browsing Blizzard's website looking for that mount. What's in your hand?, back at me. I have it, it's your authenticator used to log in to your wow account. Look again, the authenticator is now a credit card. Anything is possible when you have a job. I'm on a disco lion.

Post as many as you got, the more it makes my friends groan the better.

You can tune a piano... But, you can't... TUNE A fish.

A lot of talk of races wanting to be this and that class. I'll say this, worgens cannot be allowed another class. It's impossible. You just can't teach an old dog new tricks.

Q:Why do dwarves grow out beards?


A: So they can look like their mothers.

All my benjamins are on alliance, so if the winner is horde I will need some help transferring to the red side. If someone has lots of gold on horde and would be willing to trade for an equivalent amount on the alliance side, that would be a big help to me. I will throw in a small fee for the assistance. Or if you win on a horde character but wouldn't mind having gold on an alliance alt, that works too. Both winners of the last contest did this.

Just as a heads up, the AAMS handles money transfers for RP purposes quite a bit, and I'm sure with a little bit of convincing, we could handle this for you. :)

How many goblins does it take to fix a broken siege engine?

Three: one to tear it apart, one to put it together with a few pieces left over, and the third one to blow it up and start over!

How do you shoot a blue elekk?

With a blue elekk gun.

How do you shoot a red elekk?

Hold it's trunk until it turns blue....then shoot it with a blue elekk gun.

What do you call a rhino who wanders into Hellfire Peninsula?

Fel-if -I-know!

Two gnome engineers are riding around on their mechano-hog and one of them says. "Hey you got a new mechano-hog." The other gnome replies, "Yea, this hot dreanei woman rode up to me on it, jumped off of it, tore off her clothes and says have what you want." The first gnome says, "Good choice, I don't think the clothes would have fit."

An Ion is talking to his friend and says, "I think I'm losing an electron." His friend says, "Really? Are you sure?" The ion replies, "Yea, I'm positive!"

It would be unfair to say "Nerdos sent me this totally awesome joke, but I can't really post it here but trust me it's awesome guys."

According to some, this is the best joke in the thread.

A guy walks into a bar and sees a donut sitting there.
He walks up to her and says "Hey baby, what's your sign?"
She says "Can't you tell? I'm a torus."

A guy walks into a bar and sees a donut sitting there.
He walks up to her and says "Hey baby, what's your sign?"
She says "Can't you tell? I'm a torus."

I told this to a math teacher friend of mine. He said he'd punch me in the head next time he saw me.

/bravo

What is the first derivative of a cow?

- Prime Rib

What’s yellow, linear, normed, and complete?
A Bananach space.

Last one promise! :


What’s an abelian group under addition, closed,
associative, distributive, and bears a curse?
- The Ring of the Nibelung.